Identity Lost
by JK
Summary: Her disappearance became an obsession. Relena would remain as his only unaccomplished mission, the one that got away and he loathed the feeling. 1xR Complete
1. Night Out

**Identity Lost**

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

One – Night Out

_The fear of change will forever bare a burden on his soul._

"C'mon, Princess. You hardly go out anymore. All we ask is this simple night out with the gang on your birthday. Is that so much to ask?" Duo Maxwell pleaded with his usual puppy dog expression. The braided former Gundam Pilot was almost dragging Relena Darlian along with the group consisting of Hilde, Quatre, Trowa, and two reluctant Preventer soldiers by the names of Wufei Chiang and Heero Yuy.

She was turning 18. As much as she wanted to be with her friends, she knew that she had been avoiding them for the past few months. Relena couldn't help all the projects assigned to her under her pressing duties as Vice Foreign Minister. She felt that she owed this night to them and to herself.

"Well, I'm here aren't I?" She chuckled as Duo continued dragging her towards the bar called Joe's. Apparently it was one of the most popular locations for young individuals looking for a place to escape the bitter reality of their lives if but for a couple of hours.

The minute they walked in, a good portion of the seats was already taken and a young waitress carrying a tray full of drinks offered them a quick nod and informed the group to sit wherever they can find room. Fortunately for them, a booth at the far end of the joint remained empty and they claimed their seats in the order that they walked through the entrance. They were drowned in a cacophony of noises blasting from the live band playing on stage and from the hundreds of conversations thundering all at once.

Relena finally had the chance to take a good glance around the place and noticed that everything was furnished in dark colors: from the leather seating to the artistry hanging haphazardly on the wall. Even the lighting was dim and she had trouble seeing beyond their table. Despite the strange layout, she could see the craftsmanship that went into the design of the building. The birthday girl was sure she was the only person around the table who had never been to this bar. A new waitress with bleached hair and artificial breasts greeted all the members.

"So, what will it be tonight fellas?" She asked as she paid closer attention to the men. Relena noticed she was trying to get Heero to notice the cleavage that was barely contained in her hot pink halter-top.

"Just bring us a few round of beers, will ya? Hey, Hilde what do you want hun? You good with the beers?" Duo asked as he wound an arm around his girlfriend of two years.

"You know I am." She smiled at him and nuzzled closer to his side. The waitress went off to grab their order as the two lovebirds continued their public display of affection.

"Quit that you two. You're making me nauseous." Wufei complained. After years of combat in the battlefield, he had no idea how he could stomach the grueling deaths of thousands, if not millions of soldiers, but not the pitifully amorous scene before him. It was funny how the world worked sometimes.

They simply smirked at the Chinese pilot. Their drinks were later brought to them and three large pitchers of alcohol were placed in the center of the table. Soon all seven glasses were filled and placed in front of their respective recipients. Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei went off on their own conversations in heated discussion regarding the current political struggle between colonies L3 and L4. Duo was so wrapped up in Hilde that none of them noticed that Relena and Heero weren't doing much talking.

Relena noticed that everyone had at least touched their drinks and most of the men were close to finishing their first glass and she hadn't even brushed hers. What bothered her most was that she couldn't help her eyes from gazing at the young man sitting directly across from her. Duo was the culprit who set up the seating plan no doubt, ever playing the role of cupid.

Heero. He always looked so calm and in control of the situation. Dressed in comfortable navy jeans and a forest green shirt tucked beneath a leather overcoat, his fashion sense never missed the eyes of eligible women in the room. Aside from his stoic demeanor, Relena knew Heero had a weakness, a weakness of the heart. However, whenever they were together, the tension would be so thick that she couldn't possibly dream of breaking through his iron barrier, especially on that night.

On several occasions, she tried to capture his attention but to no avail, her voice was drowned out by the multitude of sounds in the bar.

"Heero…um…. Heero." She said louder. The music was too loud and the smoky atmosphere clouded her thoughts. The night wasn't turning out as she'd hoped and she refused to go anywhere near the alcohol. Soon after trying three more times, Relena stood up and walked out onto the patio.

"Hey, what's wrong with her?" Duo pointed out as she left the table. Heero raised his glass and swallowed three mouthfuls before slamming it down on the table.

"If you had half a brain, Maxwell, you would've noticed that bars aren't really her scene." The Perfect Soldier explained calmly. "Relena doesn't drink. She's allergic to the ethanol." With that, he walked off in Relena's direction.

"Duo, you didn't know she was allergic to beer?" Quatre asked, suddenly feeling guilty that he forgot such an important fact.

"I did. C'mon guys. I'm not that helpless. But look where the situation has taken those two pathetic romantics. I'm doing them a favor." Duo admitted while tilting his head in their direction. Heero opened the door to the patio and stood next to Relena who was admiring the night skyline. They were finally alone.

"Sometimes I worry about where your evil thoughts will take you one day, Maxwell." Wufei said, although he was still admiring his colleague's diabolical plans to make Heero and Relena realize their feelings for one another.

* * *

This was turning out to be a bad idea, coming out with her friends like this. Whenever she sees Heero, her stress level increased tenfold and the establishment wasn't really what she had in mind for her birthday. She knew her friends meant well.

Resting her arms on the wooden railing, she looked up to the night and remembered the first time she saw a shooting star hurtling toward earth. Now, she knew that it was Heero flying Wing Zero, on one of his missions. She wondered if the lives affected by warfare would ever resume any ounce of normalcy…

"Cold night…" Heero announced his presence as he opened and closed the door, blocking out most of the sounds and chatter from within.

"Yeah, I guess it is." She replied without turning around. He shook himself out of the jacket and draped it around her shoulders as he stood beside her.

"Thanks." She snuggled herself in his warmth, glad to share this moment with him. Now that they were alone, she couldn't think of anything to say. Relena cursed her brain for its inactivity.

"Did you say something?" He asked.

"Oh, no." Dammit! He must have heard her thinking out loud. "Well, I have been meaning to tell you something…" She didn't even have the guts to look at him. "Heero, after all that we've been through, I'm really glad you're still here." Relena wanted to physically kick herself for sounding so ridiculous.

"Hm."

"I just… I just wanted to say…." Relena couldn't believe she was choking on her own words. "Ah, let's just head back inside." She turned to head back inside but Heero stopped her attempt.

"Relena…" Heero reached into his pocket and pulled out a maroon-colored jewelry case. "Happy Birthday." Apparently they were both not too experienced in the relationship arena and she discovered that he was having as much a hard time in this as she was, perhaps even more.

"I… don't know what to say. Thank you, Heero." She whispered shyly as he placed the box in her hands. Opening the case, a silver encrusted necklace with a dove-shaped pendant greeted her. "A dove…" Relena said as she brushed her fingers across it. The jewelry seemed too beautiful to wear and he noticed her reluctance.

He pulled the shining thread from its case and wrapped it around her slim neck, centering the dove beneath her collarbone. Once the clasp was in place, he took a step back to see her with the jewelry. "Beautiful…" He thought.

She couldn't believe he would buy such a valued keepsake for her. As her fingers found the pendant once again, she didn't know how to react. She didn't know what it meant for them. "Heero?"

"This is my thanks." He began to explain refusing to give in to his nervousness. "You have endured so much and I want you to know that I will always be here for you."

TBC


	2. Field Trip

**Identity Lost**

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

Two – Field Trip

_Sometimes fate can suck you in and spit you out and you find yourself on the wrong side of the road._

"Heero…" For once in her life she was left speechless. Throwing whatever sense she had left out the window, she walked up to him, gently wrapped her arms around his neck and stepped into his embrace.

Heero had to quickly reach for his jacket as it trailed down her shoulders. Not knowing what to do with his hands, he simply placed his jacket around the only person who mattered at that moment and drew her closer to him.

"I'll never take it off." She promised. Perhaps this would mark the turning point of their relationship and he might be willing to crawl out of his shell. Relena couldn't have asked for a better gift. As the night drew to a close, they all left for their respective homes and the birthday girl thanked them all for the evening. Once she bid farewell to each of them, Heero was the only one left by her side.

"So, I guess there goes another year, huh?" She commented as Duo and Hilde drove off the parking lot, honking away their departure.

"That's one way of putting it." Heero acknowledged. "Want me to take you home?"

Angling her head to the side as she pondered his offer, she couldn't stop smiling at him.

"What?" He asked as she continued staring at him. Did she consume some alcohol throughout the evening without anyone noticing? She wasn't acting like her usual depressive self. Relena actually looked happy for once.

"It's such a nice night, I think I'll walk." She said as she pointed up to the stars encompassing the darkness of the night.

"You live ten blocks from here…" He didn't like the idea. "And it's late." Heero explained by way of telling her no.

She started walking down the street and gave him a quick wave. "Don't worry, I'll be fine. See you tomorrow at Preventers?"

"Just let me drive you home."

"I'll take that as a yes then?" She said, answering her own question while she lengthened the distance between them. "I need to work off some of this energy anyway, no problem. Oh, by the way, thanks so much for the necklace. I love it! Have a good night."

"Relena!" He called one final time, then gave in, and threw his jacket at her. "Wear it. I don't want you catching a cold." Heero called back at her and smirked a little by her enthusiasm.

She caught it with ease and slipped it over her bare shoulders. Relena gave a final wave and turned around the corner. He wondered why life couldn't be as easy as tonight. The dove was a symbol of new beginnings and he hoped that he would have the courage to fracture through his barrier and be able to fully live his life, now that the war was over. The Perfect Soldier was no longer needed, then why did he have a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach?

* * *

New beginnings… That's what it meant to her. She still couldn't believe Heero's generosity. It went beyond comprehension! Relena wondered what the necklace meant to him? The same thing? What if she was putting too much thought in just an innocent gift from a friend to a friend? 

One thing was for certain though, he did care about her and that meant everything. As she waited for the lights to turn green, she reached for the necklace for the hundredth time that night and marveled at its beauty, the dove. Then the lights turned and the walking light switched over signaling passage for pedestrians to cross. Without even looking, she began to cross the street.

* * *

"Why do you always have to make your shipments at night, Harry?" The woman next to her husband replied. 

As Harry turned onto the street in their navy blue truck, he was really regretting having the wife come with him. Every week, he's assaulted with the same banter from her, never satisfied. "Can you just shut up so I can drive this ancient pick-up?"

They prolonged their argument, putting the blame on the other person; neither noticed the red light approaching and the young woman walking right in front of them. "Harry, look out!!!"

Relena heard the screeching of tires and the headlights shining at her. When she turned to see the source of the light, the last thing she heard was crunching metal and shattered glass, then darkness.

"Omigod, Samantha, what did we hit?" Harry asked, sounding out of breath. "Please tell me it was a dog, or a cat."

His wife didn't respond. Instead, she jumped off her seat and ran towards the fallen body in front of their vehicle. She noticed that the incident was already blocking the intersection and several other vehicles were honking at them. Curious bystanders came near to see the commotion and when they noticed a body on the ground, their curiosity grew tenfold.

Murmurs flew across the air:  
"Who is she? Is she alright?"

"Someone should call an ambulance?"

"Did someone take down the license of the driver?"

"We gotta help her, god look at the blood."

Harry and Samantha were terrified of the situation and they could only stare at the unbelievable sight before their eyes. "How on earth could you hit a young girl, Harry? Dammit! I don't want any trouble from the police."

"You're right. Let's take her to a hospital, that's what everyone's saying." He responded as a crowd of onlookers surrounded the scene.

"NO! They'll ask too many questions. I don't want no trouble from the cops. Remember last time? Do you want to serve more jail time? Think! We have to come up with something better."

He tapped his foot nervously on the pavement and yelled out to everyone, "We'll take her to the hospital. Don't worry. She's in good hands." Harry walked over to the unconscious Relena on the ground and gently lifted her into his arms. He then carried her to the back of the truck and closed the door.

Samantha was frantic, trying to get her husband's attention. She whispered angrily for his ears only, "Did you not hear me the first time? I said no hospital!"

"Shhh… I know!! We'll take her home and then decide what to do with her." Once all three passengers were in, they backed out of the scene and drove off, leaving the onlookers with a confused expression on their faces.

* * *

"Sam, shut up! I know it was dumb of me to speed. What's done is done, ok? We just have to work around it." Harry yelled at his wife as they brought the young girl into their home. He laid her on the couch and sat on the floor, exhausted. "And yes, no hospital. Got it! But what can we do for her? It seems that she has a pretty deep gash on her forehead." He gently touched the skin around the cut and noticed that it stopped bleeding. Harry thanked god for small blessings. 

"I don't know what we can do. This is turning into a nightmare." Samantha admitted, rubbing her temples. "I told you not to make those damn deliveries at night. You never listen to me."

The unconscious lady began to moan softly from the pain and slowly fluttered her eyelashes. "Wait, look she's coming around." Harry admitted. They both paid closer attention to her eyes and then they saw a pair of aquamarine spheres staring right back at them.

"Are you alright?" Samantha probed gently.

"Hmm?" The young girl muttered softly.

"You were in an accident. Do you hurt anywhere?" Harry asked as he raised a few fingers in front of her eyes. "How many fingers do you see?"

"Um… 2 and one thumb." She replied.

"Oh, thank god." The married couple answered in unison.

"What's your name, young lady?" Harry asked, hoping to find her parents and send her on her way home.

"My name?"

"Yeah, where do you live? We can send you home so there's no need for a lawsuit right?"

"Shut up!" Samantha scolded and elbowed Harry to his side. "Your address, or maybe even a phone number so we could reach someone?"

"I…. don't know." She looked confused and disoriented.

"You don't know?" They chanted.

"What's your name? Don't make me grow impatient with you." Sam spoke a little louder, growing angrier by the minute.

"I… really don't know."

"Oh, frick!" Sam swore under her breath.

"What, what is it?" Harry asked. "Don't tell me it's…"

"Amnesia."

TBC


	3. The Death of a Queen

**Identity Lost**

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

**WARNING**: There may be some sexual content in this chapter and I'm afraid it might get more adult in the chapters ahead. If there's anyone out there who thinks I should change the rating for this fic, please let me know! Thanks in advance and enjoy!

Three – The Death of a Queen

_His immortal soul shall hang lifelessly in waiting until the return of his Queen. _

Two days have passed and there was still no sign of Relena. Everyone grew suspicious when she didn't show up at work the next day. Frantic phone calls were made citywide and the soldiers with lighter workloads were requested to drop their current assignments and join the search team. Despite their desperate attempts of finding her, she was nowhere to be found. Within hours of Preventers' search efforts, the media caught a sniff of the possibilities for a headline and raced to Preventer Headquarters like a swarm of cockroaches. News reporters, with notepads and microphones at the ready, bombarded Preventer spokesmen with questions and demands in regards to the rumor relating to Relena's disappearance.

No matter what answers they threw to the media, they refused to comment on the issue and finally managed to dissuade the crowd from lingering by the entrance.

When the pilots were informed of the situation, it felt surreal. How could they have let down their guard? Everything was going so well the night before and now the world was crashing down around all of them. Duo knew it was hitting Heero the hardest since he was the last person to see her. They all knew that Heero must have been taking the blame for not being able to see her safely home that night.

While the former Gundam Pilots gathered in the 'war room,' Heero refused to join the group and contemplated the situation alone, facing the city landscape from the east window.

"So, what's the plan?" Trowa asked by way of starting the meeting. Silence greeted him in return. They didn't even know where to begin. Was it an attack by terrorists or the opposition? There was nowhere to begin.

"How about we spread through our own channels and see what we can dig up? No use sitting here like idle ducks." Duo suggested. He was referring to their contacts from different corners of the world. Duo was still amazed how far their arms reached across the span of six continents.

The men nodded in agreement and left the room. Quatre noticed that Heero didn't make the slightest move from his corner. Before leaving he made one quick comment, not really sure whether Heero was listening or not,

"We'll find her, you know. She's waiting for us to bring her back home." He didn't even acknowledge Quatre a response so the blond pilot closed the door softly behind him.

* * *

Zechs became involved with the search. Due to his sister's abrupt disappearance, he had no choice but to come out of hiding and lead the task force. However, all their efforts proved futile. Nothing was turned up, not even a strand of hair.

Days turned into weeks, weeks dragged onto months…months merged into years. Within the first year, Preventers threw in the towel and left it as an unsolved case. Three years later, the world gave up and announced her 'death.' A memorial service was even aired live on television and Zechs walked onto the platform looking like he'd been hit by a ton of bricks, thanking everyone for their condolences and saying a few words for Relena. It seemed apparent that even he gave up the search. All Preventer staff members and the former Gundam Pilots, minus one, attended the service as well, dressed in solemn black attire. The entire world paid their respects to the former Queen. Despite her title as the Vice Foreign Minister, citizens still saw her as their Queen as was revered as such. They couldn't believe she was truly gone.

Heero watched the ceremony silently in his bachelor's pad, lying face up on the couch, an arm tossed over his face in defeat. He refused to accept the outcome… Relena was still alive. They just weren't trying hard enough or maybe it didn't really matter. Whether they spent three more years or thirteen more years, the outcome may turn out the same as today. She couldn't be found so they assumed the worst.

Why couldn't he find her? All those years in training were for naught. Everything in his life was a farce. He couldn't even remember the last time he made contact with the other pilots or any other life for that matter. The Perfect Soldier shied away from all contact and preferred to be left alone. Since everyone lost hope, the chances of him finding her again were slim to none. All facets of information channels shut their doors at him. Her disappearance became an obsession. She will remain as his only unaccomplished mission, the one that got away and he loathed the feeling.

* * *

A few days later, Zechs paid him an unexpected visit and he regrettably opened the door. What else was he supposed to do? Refuse to let him in?

"I apologize for this meeting." He began. "Heero, I just want to offer my thanks for your years of service. I know how much you meant to her." He didn't say anything in reply. Throughout the years of searching, Heero closed further into himself and didn't grace anyone with words but mere glances.

"So, this is it." The man said. "I hope never to see you again." And he left just as quickly as he appeared.

"Same to you, Zechs." He muttered under his breath before returning to the dark recesses of his apartment. The next several days came to a blur for him, not really sure what to do with the rest of his miserable existence. Heero's depression was droned out with hard liquor as he drank himself to a zombie-like stupor every night. Nothing mattered anymore.

While attempting to wobble home from the bar in his intoxicated state one night, a prostitute with 99-cent mascara approached him.

"Hey handsome. Looking for a good time?" She slurred her words while batting her eyelashes. The hot pink halter-top clung to her body like a second skin and gave nothing to the imagination. One look at her and the intent was obvious.

The woman had soft brown hair that trailed down her back. _Could it be Relena?_

"Yes…" He whispered softly, not sure how much he drank that night. All those bottles he nursed must have impaired his thinking but he didn't care. The next thing he knew, they were both lying naked in a hotel room and he was enjoying every sensation of pushing his strained body into hers. Soon all thoughts faded into darkness and for those brief minutes, he didn't have to remember who he was… and he liked it.

He was a changed man. Heero's life became engulfed in alcoholism and having sex every night, not necessarily with the same woman. Screwing the hell out of a woman moaning and arching beneath him was the only solace he could find. What did that say about his character? He didn't know anymore nor did he care. It became such a mundane routine to him that he couldn't even tell the difference between day and night.

* * *

"Mima! It's your break time. You have ten minutes." Samantha shouted to the younger waitress on the other side of the family-owned Restaurant and Pub, Hieronymous.

Mima pulled off her apron that accompanied the uniform and stepped outside into the midnight air. If she had a choice, she would never have agreed to work in such unsanitary conditions where the atmosphere was cloaked with half-drunk customers looking for a good lay in the sack and a blanket of smoke from hundreds of cigarettes. Has it already been ten years? Mima's last memory was waking up at her current home and her parents tried explaining to her who she was and what happened to her.

A bike accident was what they told her. Something about falling off while riding really fast? She couldn't remember the details. Her mother, Samantha, and father, Harry, told her many stories about her childhood but none of those memories seemed to fit.

"You're Mima, our daughter. It's going to be difficult for your memory to come back but just remember that you're part of the family. There's really nowhere for you to go so you might as well just stay here." Sam explained to her ten years ago. Mima remembered being very confused but none of her questions were ever answered.

And so she stayed living with her parents and older sister named Jezzie. While Mima straightened her newly dyed coal black, shoulder length, hair from the forces of the wind, she gazed at the stars and tried to search for the answers that she knew weren't there. Who was she, really?

Once her hair was somewhat set to straights, her fingers unconsciously wound their way to her necklace, the dove. That was the only piece in her life that offered her a peace of mind. She hated the pun but it was true. Mima was adamant about never taking it off. For some reason, everything in life felt hollow save the necklace.

Mima glanced at her watch and noticed that her break was almost over and quickly turned back to the pub. Perhaps one day she would regain her memory and understand why the necklace holds such importance to her.

_Yeah, right!_ Mima's been telling herself that for years and she had worn the thought raw.

"Mima, hurry back inside! The customers are thirsty!" Jezzie scolded her as she opened the door to let her back in.

TBC


	4. Connor Striker

**Identity Lost **

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

Four – Connor Striker

_Sometimes you just gotta play the hand you're dealt. _

The last string of customers made their way to the exit and they finally closed down for the night. Time had crawled to 4am. Mima didn't understand the customers' passion for the drinks but she served them regardless. She remembered trying a couple of sips a few years back when some aggressive customers insisted on buying her a drink and she remembered Jezzie giving her such a threatening stare that said she had better not refuse a drink from a customer.

The churning feeling in her stomach began almost as soon as she swallowed that first sip, which made her run to the bathroom to release all contents in her stomach. She remembered how they all barked with laughter at her reaction. That was the day she learned that she couldn't consume anything with alcohol. Ironic wasn't it, how a waitress in a pub couldn't withstand even the smallest amounts of the beverage they offered.

Once the tables were wiped down, floors mopped, and bags of garbage taken to the dumpster, Mima locked down the joint and headed home.

"Jezzie? I'm home." Mima greeted the dark entrance of their shared apartment. Three months ago, they both moved out of their parents' home, thinking they would have more freedom.

"What took you so long?" She scolded angrily from the doorway of her bedroom. Jezzie, two years her senior, constantly talked down to her as if Mima were dim-witted.

"It took longer to close down than usual." Mima replied quietly as she locked the door. "I'm going to turn in for the night. I feel exhausted."

"Oh, you feel exhausted? You were moving at a snail's pace tonight. Mom spent the entire night complaining behind your back, I was getting so sick of hearing it." Jezzie countered angrily.

"Look, I don't want to fight right now. We'll talk tomorrow." With that said, Mima closed her room door and slowly changed out of her work clothes. For some reason, Jezzie always picked a fight with her. Whenever they had visitors while living with their parents, Jezzie always fought for attention and Mima willingly gave in. She was indifferent for such trivial actions. However, despite her efforts, everyone crowded around her instead of Jezzie, firing hundreds of questions. That just made her sister even more furious with her.

Some even admitted that Mima looked a lot like Jezzie. They shared the same cheekbones and heart-shaped face. Jezzie hated it when people called them twins but neither of them could deny the similarities of their facial features and body type. Mima even went to great lengths of looking completely different from Jezzie in order to appease her by dying her hair and wearing plain clothes to hide her figure.

Slipping into her pj's, she didn't want to give their little tirade another thought. Mima briefly touched her necklace to calm herself then tucked it under her shirt and went to sleep.

A loud sounding knock on the door stirred her awake from her dreamless state. Knowing all too well how deeply Jezzie sleeps, she pulled on a robe and went to answer before the banging roused Jezzie up. That was the last thing she needed: a sleep deprived, grumpy older sibling yelling at her…

"I'm coming!" Mima announced as the incessant knocking continued. She wondered who on earth would be at their doorstep at eight in the morning.

She groaned inwardly when she looked through the peephole and discovered who was standing on the other side. "Connor, it's too early. What do you need?" Mima said by way of greeting the second they came face to face.

Connor Striker was as confident as any top executive in the business community. Looking much younger than his 32 years, he was dressed in a dark suit, carrying a black leather-covered suitcase. His shoulder length hair, the color of black coffee beans, kept part of his face hidden behind smooth tendrils of hair and enhanced his seductive demeanour. He knew he looked good and that made Mima more irritated to see him in the middle of her much needed rest.

"Morning, Mima. I just came to see if you made it back home alright." Connor said as he shrugged his shoulders and offered her the usual smirk that she loathed. Ever since he met her ten years ago, he had been infatuated with her and hadn't even hidden his intentions. When his family moved into their neighbourhood all those years ago, he often made excuses to stop by their home to speak to her.

Looking anywhere but his face, she replied, "As you can see, I'm perfectly fine. You do this every week! You know what time I get home from work. Why do you torment me like this?"

Taken aback, he simply answered, "I care about you. Why do you think I stop by before running to work to check up on you?"

"I appreciate the concern, but I'm a grown woman now. I can take care of myself. Now please, go to work. I don't want you to be late." She said as she slowly closed the door behind her.

"See? You do care about me! You don't want me to be late." He said triumphantly. "I'll catch you later, Mima! Sweet dreams."

She rolled her eyes as she locked the door once again. One thing was for certain, she couldn't deny his good looks and charming personality but she was never really interested in getting into a serious relationship with anyone. He also had the prestigious background that most young girls in the neighbourhood would be dying to be a part of. The Striker family was renowned for their 'old money' – assets and property that switched hands through inheritance and Connor was the next in line to claim it all. Nevertheless, Connor felt more like a brother figure than anything else, no matter how much money they possessed.

"Who was that?" Jezzie asked as she walked into the kitchen for coffee. Their two-bedroom apartment wasn't much of anything aside from their meagre rooms, a small-sized kitchen, dust covered living room that would also count as a dining room, and an antique bathroom where the sink leaked 24/7.

"Huh? Oh, it was just Connor again."

"Connor! Why didn't you wake me? Was he looking for me?" Jezzie asked, suddenly excited. Apparently, Jezzie was among the hundreds of girls with Connor Striker in their eyesight.

"Um…He just stopped by to say hi." Mima replied, hoping she wouldn't pry.

"You should've woken me up, Mima! Geez…I don't even know why I put up with you."

"Hey, I'm sorry. I'll wake you next time ok? Let's just drop it." She said, sounding tired. Mima walked back to her room to avoid yet another confrontation.

"Don't turn away when I'm talking to you dammit! You know how much I like him and you still try to seduce him." Jezzie accused as she followed Mima.

Mima was simply shocked at the accusation. "What are you talking about? I don't even care about him. Have him for all I care."

"Oh, sure. So you're just going to give him up!" Jezzie shouted, exasperated.

"Jezzie, I never had him in the first place. Please, I'm really tired. Can we argue later?"

"Fine! You always do this to me, you know." She muttered and went back to making that cup of coffee.

Mima didn't understand what she did to ever deserve such a cold, calculating sister. All her life, or the years she remembered at least, she was nothing but kind to her family especially Jezzie and she never understood why it was so difficult to fit in.

TBC

AN: Thanks for the reviews everyone! It's been a while since I wrote and I'm kinda slow haha. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and trust me, it's going to get a lot better!


	5. The Encounter

**Identity Lost**

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

Five – The Encounter

_Second chances never work out as smoothly as one would think. _

The weather was turning worse by the minute. Grey cumulonimbus clouds covered the massive skyline early in the day and pea-sized raindrops were already invading the earth. He didn't know how long he stood by the window staring at nothing. On occasion, he would follow the trail that the rain made on the windowsill. Heero didn't even realize what time it was until he heard a pounding. It took several beats before he realized the pounding wasn't coming from his head but from the door.

"Heero! You better not be stone drunk again! C'mon wake up." Duo shouted above the heavy beating he gave to the door. Before he could offer another sound lashing at the wooden frame, the door suddenly flew open and he met dangerous eyes on the other end.

"What is it, Maxwell?" Heero muttered without blinking.

"I came to pick you up for work." He explained quietly as he pushed his way into the apartment. Looking around the vicinity, nothing changed much since the last time he was here. Empty beer bottles and cans littered the carpet and dirty clothes were still waiting for the next trip down to the laundry machine.

"I don't need a babysitter." Heero simply replied as he returned to his cheerless bedroom and changed his shirt from yesterday to the Preventer uniform.

Duo noticed his colleague looked the same as he did ten years earlier back in the days of the Eve Wars. He couldn't believe how someone could still maintain that solid physique of his and the lean muscle tones that covered his entire body. No doubt about it, Heero treated his body with the same ferocity as the eye of a tornado.

"God knows how you keep in shape, man." The braided pilot commented as Heero finished changing. "Oh, by the way, Hilde asked for you to join us tonight. She thought it would be good for you to be around some familiar people instead of drinking yourself brainless. What do you say?"

Reaching for his coat, he made his way to the door without even glancing at Duo. "Not interested."

"Oh, c'mon! It'll be fun. She knows a friend who works at this Restaurant and Pub, called Hieronymous. Think discount!" Noticing that Heero was unfazed, he added, "OK look, if you're not having a good time, you can still drink yourself brainless. We'll go right after work."

He knew if he didn't give in, the man would be bugging him the whole day. That's how Duo usually got his way. "Alright."

"Yeah? Trust me, good times will be had." He didn't show it but he was doing back flips in his mind.

* * *

Before they laid a foot in the bar, Heero had a moment's hesitation but was quickly hustled in by the throng of patrons lined up behind him. Hilde motioned for Duo and Heero to wait by the bar counter as she strolled around in search for her friend. There weren't any seats available so they had no choice but to lean against the stained, wooden counter where they had ample opportunity to scope the vicinity. After so many years out of combat, they couldn't help that subconscious part of their minds that enforced them to locate all the exits and to keep careful watch of all members within the room.

"What'll it be?" The bartender asked the men as he filled three orders.

"We're waiting for a friend to return. Hold the order for a few minutes, will ya?" Duo replied and the bartender merely shrugged his indifference.

Having nothing better to say to each other, Heero asked "Who's Hilde's friend?"

"I know exactly what you're thinking, Heero. No, this is not a blind date. Her friend has been working here for, well, since ever! They met a few years ago during some fundraiser event. I guess they've been keeping close tabs on each other."

"Hn."

"Guess they found each other." Duo commented as he noticed Hilde walking back with another slender woman.

As Mima approached the two men, she felt an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. Only the man with the long braid was looking at them and the minute they saw each other, they couldn't break away. It almost seemed as if it were a reunion of some kind.

Once he had a second look at Hilde's friend, he couldn't believe the resemblance. Everything from the posture, the high cheek bones, to her smile… but it couldn't be her, could it? He didn't even notice that he had his jaw opened the whole time as Hilde made introductions.

"I'm back, guys. I'd like you to meet a very special friend of my mine, Mima Kanzaki. Mima, this is Duo Maxwell and Heero Yuy." Hilde said, smiling.

The one that Hilde introduced as Heero didn't seem to care about the new member in their circle. He didn't even bother to look up and acknowledge her presence. Mima tried to shake the negative emotions off and focused her attention on Hilde's significant other.

"So, this is Duo." Mima exclaimed, bright eyed. "I can see why Hilde has latched onto you. It's a pleasure to meet you, Duo."

"C'mon, Mima. Don't embarrass me." Hilde nudged her friend, chuckling. Noticing some tension in the air, she walked into Duo's embrace and whispered for his ears only, "stop staring! I know what you're seeing."

"Uh… yeah, Nice to meet you, uh… Mima is it?" Duo mentioned, while shaking himself out of his thoughts.

"I know just the thing. How about some drinks on the house?" Mima said as she left them momentarily to retrieve their beer. "I'll be back in a bit."

"Why didn't you tell me she was Relena's twin? Geez! It nearly gave me a heart attack." Duo yelled over the blaring music. "God! Heero did you get a look at her? She was Relena!"

"Well, because I knew that was the exact reaction you'd get from it." Hilde exclaimed as she punched him, hard. "It's not Lena. I wish it were but she grew up in the city all her life. She has family and a history here."

"Just a striking resemblance, is all." Duo added. "Heero, why are you being such an ass? You should've taken a look at her. She was the splitting image of Relena, well, aside from the hair."

"Don't you dare say her name in front of me again, Maxwell." Heero muttered. "I mean it." He suddenly had death shining through his eyes.

"Fine. You could at least be civil to her, can't you?" Duo reasoned. Before Heero had a chance to respond, Mima returned with a tray full of peanuts, three glasses, and a pitcher.

"There you are. Enjoy! I have to run: lots of customers tonight. It was a pleasure to meet you Duo and… you, Heero. Feel free to stop by anytime." Mima said by way of a quick farewell. It was true that she had a lot of customers to tend to but the other reason was more personal. Despite the fact that she didn't really get a good look at Heero, there was something about him that made her feel … different.

"Hey wait, Mima. When are you getting off tonight? I thought we might catch a drink or something later on." Hilde asked as she held onto her shirt.

"Uh… you know I don't drink." She didn't think she could handle the situation if she had to be by Heero any longer.

"Well, not an alcoholic beverage. What kind of friend do you take me for? Maybe some coffee?" Hilde coaxed, offering Mima her best puppy-dog expression. "We have so much catching up to do."

She finally caved. "Sure, why not? I'll be finished up here in less than two hours."

"Great! We'll be here."

* * *

Mima couldn't focus that night. She'd already forgotten two orders and felt so embarrassed because she needed to ask what they ordered twice. How could that man have this effect on her? She didn't even know him. Some time during the night, she noticed Heero's eyes wandering in her direction. Was she imagining things? Or perhaps her eyes were wandering over in his direction.

As her shift ended, she went back to the employee section to grab her coat and purse. Mima wasn't sure whether it was a good idea to have a drink with them, especially with Heero but she couldn't refuse their invitation. While putting on her coat, a shadow loomed from the doorway. Since the employees' lounge was such a small space, she always found herself alone in here. She didn't even notice a new presence walking closer to her.

"Who are you?" The voice commanded behind her.

Startled, she stood up immediately to face the intruder. It took a few takes to identify the man as one of Hilde's friends. "…Heero?"

"I said, who are you?"

TBC

AN: Thanks for all your reviews! I'm glad to see that some are interested in my crazy stories. Stay tuned...


	6. Just Another Face

**Identity Lost**

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

Six – Just another face

_The wounds from the past will never be forgotten. _

This was the first time she had a good look at Heero. There was such wildness behind his cobalt blue eyes that she found it difficult to turn away. Mima knew he must've kept in good shape by the way his thinly pleated jacket melded his shoulders and outlined the finely toned muscles underneath. He looked almost like a depiction of the faces seen in a fashion magazine. Heero's tousled hair exacerbated the danger that was reflected in his stance. She wasn't sure whether she was afraid for her life or strangely attracted to the new stranger.

They remained rooted in their position, eyeing the other person down. The leaky faucet from the kitchen could be heard as it counted down the seconds that trickled by with each drip of water.

-- Drip --

-- Drip --

-- Drip --

"Who are you?" The voice commanded more loudly this time.

"Hilde just introduced us… Mima Kanzaki, ring a bell?" She answered, trying to sound unfazed.

He simply shook his head in a mocking gesture. "I don't think so. Try again."

Mima paced around her side of the room, finding something to do in order to calm her frazzled nerves. Why did he have to be staring at her so intently? She could feel one of her headaches beginning to consume her thoughts…

"How…how much did you drink exactly?"

"None, for once. So, you going to answer my question or not?" Heero said, unrelenting.

Mima didn't know what he wanted from her so she kept her mouth shut. The headache was starting to cloud her senses and she couldn't think straight. She really wanted him to leave her alone.

"What do you want me to say?" Mima snapped, knowing full and well that the migraine was the cause of her haughty tongue. They were both surprised from her outburst. She was beginning to see stars… No, not stars… but gunshots being fired. Mima could see an image from the dark recesses of her mind: one of violence, death, and machines… huge robotic machines in combat. Was it a memory from her past?

She had to mentally shake off that image. Very slowly, she rubbed two fingers to her temple and said, "I…I'm sorry. I'm not feeling well. If you'll excuse me." Mima quickly gathered up her things and headed for the exit. Unfortunately, the man she was trying to escape from was standing by the only way out.

She was almost home free when Heero reached out and grabbed her wrist. "Look…I think I should be the one apologizing. You just… you look a lot like her." He said by way of explanation.

"Do you mean Relena?" Mima asked, looking at her shoes. She knew she hit the target when he tightened his grip.

"I'm right, aren't I?" Mima chuckled to herself. "Don't worry. You're not the first one to make that comment. If I could have my wrist back, I really should be going."

He regrettably loosened his grip and found himself alone with the leaky faucet. He had no idea what came over him. It seemed as if everyone around him was right; he was starting to lose it. Despite the awkwardness of the situation, he couldn't help the attraction that he felt and he was sure she felt the same. So she wasn't Relena, he already figured out that much. This woman seemed more reserved and afraid but none of it mattered to him. She was just another face in the crowd after all.

* * *

"I'm sorry. I don't think I can join you guys tonight." Mima sadly explained to the pair who was more than comfortable in each other's presence.

"What? Why?" They both asked in unison.

"I'm just not feeling well. I think I'll turn in for the night. It was really nice seeing you again Hilde. We must get together some other time. Good night." Mima then turned and dashed toward the exit.

"Huh… so what did you think that was all about?" Duo pondered as he pulled Hilde closer to him so that he could steal a quick kiss on her lips.

Before she could utter a response, Heero returned to the table looking almost as distraught as Mima but he was doing a great job at hiding it behind his unmoving appearance. Five minutes of quiet slithered by before Heero finally called it quits and left the group for the night.

"Do you think something happened between those two?" The braided ex-pilot asked as he waved a waitress over for the bill.

"Perhaps. They left so suddenly and as normal as that behaviour is where Heero's concerned, Mima's not like that. I'm worried about her. I think a girl-chat is long overdue."

* * *

Mima walked aimlessly around the crowded streets, swarmed by city dwellers and tourists bubbling with excitement. From the blatant chatter, blazing lights through store windows, and the overall ambience of life, she found it difficult to believe that it was already past midnight. It appeared as if too much fun was to be had and she felt reluctant to return home.

A couple walking arm in arm brushed past her, laughing at a recollection of some precious memory. She envied how they seemed so oblivious to the world. Mima didn't realize that she was staring until someone tapped her shoulder from behind.

"Excuse me, miss. Do you have the time?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah uh… 12:25" she replied blankly.

"Thank you." An old man said before going on his way.

At that time, she noticed a familiar face in the crowd that was staring straight at her. The dark hair and passionless eyes couldn't have belonged to anyone but Heero Yuy. They were at a standstill while the patrons walked around both of them. Neither realized that they were blocking traffic as they continued to stare at each other.

Did he follow her? If he did, she was planning to give him a piece of her mind. Very casually, she walked over to him with her chin raised.

"What are you doing here?" She asked.

"Shopping."

"You want me to believe that?" Mima said, chuckling. "Why are you following me?"

"I wasn't; must have been a coincidence." Heero answered stoically.

She knew he was lying but decided not to call him on it and walked away from him. Mima didn't even reach the corner of the street before Heero caught up with her again.

"Since we're both here, let's grab some coffee instead of wasting the night away." He announced more than requested.

She was perplexed that he was still within her eyesight and told him so. "Why are you bothering me?"

How was he supposed to answer that question when he himself didn't even know the correct response? He couldn't say that he felt more attracted to her than to any other woman he's ever met or that he was simply curious about her. What troubled him more was that the moment he met her he felt a strange bond that he was reluctant to break.

"We started off on a bad foot and I don't want any awkwardness between us." He ended up saying and felt quite proud with his half-truth answer.

When she didn't comment any further, he added. "Just one cup of coffee and my conscience will be cleared."

* * *

She couldn't believe herself! Here she was sitting across from Heero in a quaint little café, sipping her second cup of much needed caffeine into her system. True, she felt strongly attracted to him but it wasn't like her to go out with a man she just met. What was it about Heero Yuy that she felt compelled to learn more about?

Half an hour in and neither of them uttered a sound aside from the sounds of drinking their beverage. She had already pegged him not much of a conversationalist and, ironically, he was the one who dragged them into this. Perhaps he could live in this awkward silence but she couldn't and decided to do something about it.

"So, how do you know Duo and Hilde?"

He looked up from his cup, surprised that she said something. "From the war a long time ago."

"The war? I don't remember that but it must have been awful for you." She commented quietly while tapping lightly on the porcelain mug with nails long overdue for a cut.

_Don't remember?_ How could she not remember the event that revolutionized the very way in which they live? He couldn't believe that she was serious but then again, her naive expression gave nothing away in the sense that she was deceiving him.

Bitten by the curiosity bug, she asked. "What was the war like?"

"You really have no idea do you?" He replied, baffled by her question.

"I have a huge gap in my memory and don't remember a lot of things from my life let alone the world." She said as she tried to hide her embarrassment.

When he provided a confused expression, she explained. "Childhood accident; bumped my head."

He nodded once as if her comment explained everything even though it raised more questions. He wanted to probe further but she beat him to it.

"Did you…fight in the war?" She noticed his lips tighten into a thin pale line and thought better of asking anymore questions related to the war. "Actually, forget it. War is such a cold topic anyway."

With that said, she inadvertently killed the conversation and so they continued to sit in silence. The lack of conversation wasn't as awkward as the beginning; she felt safe just being by him and the thought terrified her.

They sat across from each other as if they had known one another for years and their body language was all that was needed for them to understand what the other was thinking. Once their drinks were done, they decided to call it a night and left the café.

Before Mima could bid farewell to him, Heero asked. "Can I see you tomorrow?"

TBC…

Note: Sorry for the long wait folks, for those who actually keep track of this fic... it's been too long since I last updated but I'm hoping I can get later chapters up on a weekly basis? bi-weekly basis? Haha I just want to get this done!


	7. Who is He?

**Identity Lost**

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

Seven – Who is he?

_Relationships are not all scripted to be a fairy tale. _

Was this guy really serious? They had a hard enough time with the last hour spent in each other's presence.

"You're joking right?" Mima asked while she pointed to the place they just departed. "We barely survived the café incident and you're asking me to see you again?"

"You… fascinate me." He answered bluntly, ever the Perfect Soldier.

"My _face_ fascinates you. I can mail you a photograph." She countered fiercely and began walking away without waiting for a response.

"Meet me tomorrow and I'll tell you about the war." He called out, challenging her to fight the curiosity he knew was stirring in her mind. "That's what you're dying to know, correct?"

Mima turned around very slowly and eyed him with piercing sapphire blue spheres. She was shocked into silence when his effortless attempt to read her came immensely accurate to the truth. Dozens of excuses she mastered, whenever it came to Connor Striker, seemed to prove futile where Heero Yuy was concerned. Not only was she short on a reason not to see him again, but Mima also found herself wanting to be with him.

"I'm waiting." Heero probed, knowing full well that she was having trouble responding to his wit.

"Yes, it is. But we… I just don't want to see you again."

* * *

Spending hours tossing and turning in her bed, she had no idea what came over her. Mima was never so irrational when men came crawling. Heero wasn't exactly on the floor begging but he had the audacity to lay everything bluntly out on the table. She was too clever to take the bait but now that she found herself unable to sleep, she wondered if she made the wrong decision. Perhaps she should've agreed to see him again; she did feel a growing attraction to him after all and wasn't that how most relationships started off? 

The city lights streamed in through her window blinds, casting rays of yellows and reds into her room. Sirens were occasionally heard blasting on the streets and she couldn't believe that she was able to drown out the sounds after living in the decrepit neighbourhood after god only knows how many years.

A loud banging on the front door shook her from her reverie and she cursed whoever was at the door this late at night. She turned around to reach for her robe and noticed the digital clock sitting on her nightstand.

"Guess it's not so late anymore." She muttered as the numbers displayed 08:00.

Before glancing through the peephole, she knew who would be standing on the other end. She groaned inwardly and the thought of her sister, Jezzie, suddenly popped into her mind.

"Mima?" Connor Striker's muffled voice was heard. "I hear you in there. Open up!"

"Be right there!" Mima shouted back as she made a rapid dash into Jezzie's bedroom. Her sister was probably still sound asleep but hearing her incessant bickering was far more pleasing than having to turn Connor down for the 'n'th time.

Very lightly, she opened the room leading to the bedroom and tapped her on the shoulder. "Hey, Connor's here. Thought you might like to know."

Jezzie waved her arms at the sound as if she were swatting away mosquitoes. "Later." She mumbled with her sleep-filled voice. "And stop that banging racket."

"C'mon wake up. I know how much you want to talk to him. Connor's practically knocking the door off its hinges to speak to you." So she wasn't exactly telling the truth but a little white lie didn't hurt anyone.

"Connor's here? Omigod!" Jezzie announced, bouncing off the mattress with the agility of a panther on the hunt. Mima couldn't help rolling her eyes as Jezzie quickly got dressed and finished putting her makeup in two minutes flat.

By the time they reached the front door, he was still complaining for someone to open the door. If there were an award for persistence, he'd be the lifetime achiever.

In the blink of an eye, the door swung open and Connor almost fell in from the abrupt weight-shifting he had to do. His colliding into Jezzie didn't deter her at all. "Whoa… sorry." He apologized. "What took you so long to open the door? Hey, I thought Mima was here. I heard her voice a couple of minutes ago."

Mima stood well hidden from view as she listened to the conversation from her room, well behind closed doors.

"You know how we need our beauty sleep." Jezzie replied while avoiding his latter question. "What brings you here?"

"I wanted to invite Mima to accompany me to an annual banquet." Connor answered as his eyes wandered the apartment, looking for clues that Mima might be present.

Jezzie gave an annoyed expression and sighed. "I'm sure she's very busy and would not have the time of day to attend your functions. I, on the other hand, am available. When is the banquet anyway?" She asked very suggestively.

He brushed his fingers through his hair, avoiding eye contact with her. Someone would have to be blind not to notice how she was infatuated with him. For once in his life, he was regretting looking so stunning in his designer suits. "Well…. uh, in two weeks and I'd rather speak to Mima about it. I do appreciate you offering though."

Mima discovered this was her cue to make her entrance. "Hi Connor. I was getting dressed and heard that you need a date for the banquet that's coming up…. Gosh, I'm really sorry but I'll be working. Jezzie, on the other hand, has her vacation starting late next week so she'd be the perfect candidate to go with you. How about that, it's a good thing Jezzie has offered as well." She eyed Jezzie for her acquiescence.

"Um… yes, my vacation. How did I forget about it? I'd love to be your date." Jezzie stated.

Connor looked confused and ruffled his hair some more to straighten his thoughts, although he was still unsure what happened. "Sure, I guess. It's Saturday, so make sure you're ready by 6pm and find a dress."

* * *

Hours later, Mima couldn't stop thinking how fortunate she was that Connor agreed to have Jezzie accompany him to his festivities. Hieronymous was getting ready for the dinner rush as the waiters prepped the tables and had the most popular dishes prepared for cooking. As Mima was wiping some tables, the front door open and in walked Hilde. 

She was shocked that Hilde would be visiting this early from their last encounter. "Hey, how's it going?" Mima called out.

"Good. Is this a good time? Sorry, I should have called first." Hilde apologized before her friend was able to answer.

"No, it's ok. Just give me a minute." While she finished the last table, she kept wondering why Hilde came to see her. They were soon seated off to a corner where most of the workers were well away from hearing distance.

Hilde eyed around, not really wanting to meet Mima's eyes. She didn't even know how to begin this conversation. "I know this may sound strange but um… did anything happen between you and Heero last night?"

"What do you mean?" She asked, feigning innocence.

"Well, you both left at around the same time so I assumed that…."

"Assumed what? That we slept together? C'mon Hilde! You know me better than that. But… we did have a drink together. He coerced me into it though! Don't think I intentionally meant to leave you and Duo just to be with him. I didn't feel in the mood for company last night. I'm … I'm sorry." Mima explained as she fiddled around with the utensils before them. For some reason, she couldn't keep her hands still.

Hilde held her hands up in mock surrender. "No need for that. I should be the one apologizing. Anyway, the reason why I came here is to tell you about Heero's past. Once I have finished saying my piece, I'll leave it up to you to decide whether you still want to see him."

"But I…"

"Just hear me out, okay?" Hilde asked gently and Mima had no choice but to nod in agreement.

"I didn't meet Heero until much later but his history is one filled with despair, murder, and a tragic sense of loss. He was a soldier trained for war, one of the five Gundam Pilots who was sent to Earth on, what most people would call them, suicide missions." She paused then to grab a sip of water from the glass that Mima brought with her before they claimed their seats.

Despite the fact that she felt she had no right listening to this, she couldn't turn away. In fact, she was now more curious than ever to learn everything about Heero Yuy and to discover what sort of demons haunt his memories, especially those where Relena was concerned. "Go on." Mima urged.

"What I'm telling you are all of Duo's recollections, mind you." She continued. "Okay, so at that time, it was when Heero met Relena Darlian. I guess you could almost say that their paths were destined to cross. Relena was the lost princess of the Sanc Kingdom but during the uprising from the opposition, she was adopted by the late Vice Foreign Minister Darlian."

Mima cut in. "What happened to the Royal Family?"

"They… were killed. Only Relena was saved."

"Are you sure? There must have been someone else… a brother." Mima insisted as she dug through her clouded memories.

"Huh, how about that? Yeah, I believe Relena also had an older brother that survived as well. How did you know?" Hilde asked, strangely curious as to how Mima knew a fact that was well hidden from the tabloids.

"I'm not sure…" Mima answered honestly, not quite sure where that thought came from.

"Well, Heero was taken in by the military and trained as a child to become the 'Perfect Soldier' in every way. He had no fear of death during the mission. It's frightening when you sit down and really think about it. Anyway, Vice Foreign Minister Darlian was assassinated and Relena eventually walked in his footsteps, encouraging politicians to put down their arms and resolve issues through peaceful means. Once the war was over after several gruelling months, Heero stayed behind to protect her. I'm not sure what kind of relationship they had but they were close. They had a mutual respect for each other but Duo would bet his life on the fact that it went much farther than a simple common understanding between the two of them."

Mima sat silently, absorbing everything that Hilde had said. That certainly explained a few things regarding Heero Yuy but it didn't really explain why he acted like such a jerk now. She also didn't understand why the story felt so familiar, almost like a vision from a lost dream.

"And… well, he had never been the same since she died." Hilde said sadly.

"What happened, exactly? Our family is vaguely tuned into current news. I barely know anything that happens outside of this bar." She explained, looking a bit ashamed of not knowing anything.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. That family of yours has certainly kept you sheltered, that's for sure. Hm… the thing is, no one knows what happened to her. She disappeared one day with no traces found whatsoever. The point is, when she disappeared, Heero lost a part of himself that day and he changed. Nothing drives him anymore, no motivation, no purpose in life. Do you understand?" She continued as her voice increased an octave with each passing phrase. Hilde regretted sounding so harsh to Mima but Heero was not stable to be with anyone right now, let alone someone as gentle as the woman sitting across from her.

Suddenly she understood. "Hilde, do you want me to stay away from him?" Mima asked bluntly.

"I…"

"It's ok. There's no need to say anything else." Mima interrupted. "Don't worry. I already planned never to see him again after last night."

Hilde raised an eyebrow in question and Mima relayed the events that occurred the night before. She ended off by saying, "Now that I have heard his story, I can't really blame him for mistaking me as Relena. Put yourself in his shoes for a minute. I know I'd be dying for closure… but when you really love someone, there's no way you can shut them out, not completely."

Mima knew that she already promised Hilde there would be nothing between her and Heero but she needed to see him again…. later tonight.

TBC


	8. Unusual Situations

**Identity Lost**

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

Eight – Unusual Situations

_Unusual situations will lead a man to the woman he is destined to be with. _

Work ended early for Mima that night. There were only a few stragglers who decided to stay in their seats until they were booted out. Harry insisted Mima to leave before closing so that she didn't need to pull another late night. The man she knew as her father was always much kinder to her compared to her mother and sister. Whenever they weren't around, he would go out of his way not to trouble Mima much further. On the rare occasion, it seemed as if he felt guilty for something and was trying to make amends.

As she bid a final farewell to the other co-workers for the evening, she left Hieronymous feeling frustrated. She wanted to see Heero again but where was she going to start searching? It seemed highly unlikely that he would be listed in the yellow pages. He wasn't the type of person that would advertise where he stayed, especially not after hearing Hilde's recollections. However, she went to double check the listings just to make sure... and sure enough, he wasn't there.

There was also the nagging feeling in the back of her head telling her she should heed her friend's advice. Hilde only had her best interest in mind and perhaps she was right to caution her about Heero Yuy. Nevetheless, the curiosity behind the man was too tempting to ignore.

While standing outside, she reached down and grasped her necklace, making a silent wish that she would be able to track him down.

She decided that returning to the café would be the best bet in finding any clues leading to Heero's whereabouts. It didn't take long for Mima to reach the front door of the establishment and she debated whether she should enter.

Looking through the Victorian-styled windows, she noticed that most of the seats were already filled with patrons and, more importantly, he was nowhere to be found.

"Guess there's no point in going in after all." Mima muttered to herself as she continued on her way. She knew it was too soon to give in but she had no idea where to search next. The city housed a couple of million people after all. Two hours later, she finally admitted defeat and started for home.

* * *

Jezzie and her mother relaxed on the couches of her apartment discussing the so-called banquet that she was attending. They were already into the second hour of conversation and she still couldn't convince Samantha how important this one night could potentially mean to her relationship with Connor Striker. Apparently parents from the older generation just didn't _get it._

"I need to look fabulous, suave, sophisticated, everything!" She repeated for the tenth time. "I don't want his eyes wandering anywhere but on me."

"Well, dear, I don't see what's the big deal. And besides, you already purchased that dress worth three of your paycheques. What more do you want?" Sam argued on deaf's ears, still not understanding the relevance of attending a corporate shindig.

"Jewellery… I need jewellery." Jezzie stated matter-of-factly.

Sam sighed in defeat. She was her daughter after all and as ironic as the statement was, she was the tree from which the apple fell.

"If you only exploited Relena when you guys had the chance, we wouldn't be having financial problems right now." Jezzie complained.

As much as the mother-daughter duo argued in the past, Relena's name was almost always brought up, as the final nail to the coffin. Shortly after the collision on the road, they had no idea that the young girl they dragged home was Relena Darlian herself. Once they knew, they kept Relena in their home out of utter fear and uncertainty for what would happen to them should the world discover the truth behind her disappearance. As a matter of fact, when Sam and Harry decided to keep her in hiding they agreed never to mention it. Relena Darlian, as they knew it, disappeared as how the news reported the incident.

"How many times have we told you not to say that name? How could you say that – _exploit_ her? You know we would never harm her. And worrying about having extra cash for jewellery is hardly what I define poverty."

"Oh, don't give me this nonsense. You loathe her presence as much as I do. Why else would we treat her like the insignificant creature that she is?" Jezzie cleverly sidestepped the discussion of the jewellery. She preferred arguing with her mother about the one topic that boiled her blood over every time she thought about Relena's perfect life of privilege, luxury, and undeniable wealth.

Samantha was furious by the way the conversation was headed and abruptly ended it with a stern voice. "Enough. I don't want to hear it and I am serious, Jezzie. Never say that name again."

Jezzie finally announced with a smirk. "Fine, have it your way. I have other sources to get what I want without using my bank account."

* * *

On that same night, Samantha was still going over the heated conversation with Jezzie earlier in the day and she didn't know what to make of it. She was absolutely clueless in terms of what Jezzie would be planning. As she was quickly filling orders in as fast as she could, she received an anonymous phone call for a special delivery to be made. "Mima! We have a delivery to make to the 52nd Precinct. Can you make the run?" Samantha called from the kitchen. 

There were times when people called in special orders to be delivered to their destination. Usually they were private functions that the men didn't want their wives or lady friends to know about.

"52nd Precinct? I'm not sure if I feel comfortable making this delivery. Can you get someone else?" Mima asked gently, almost pleading with her eyes. 52nd Precinct was renowned for its gang violence and muggings on sidewalk streets. Most law enforcement officers turned a blind eye to that region since everyone treated it as a lost cause. Business establishments were abandoned; sidewalk streets cracked, and the neighbourhood residents didn't improve the reputation.

"I don't have time for this. Just get over there and deliver these boxes of dessert platters." She retorted angrily.

Mima had no other choice but to comply. She quickly buttoned up and carried the boxes to the loading dock for transport in one of two company delivery vans. It was just her luck to notice that other co-workers already took the vans as the dock sat empty with only patches of oil on the cement for companionship. How else was she going to make the delivery? If she didn't hurry, she knew she would get another earful from Samantha.

"Guess I'm walking." She mumbled to herself and then tried sarcasm to lighten the mood. "Good thing it's only ten minutes away – by car."

As the architecture progressed with age from one street to the next, Mima grew more anxious by the looks of the streeters lounging against the brick buildings. She kept looking down on the tiny scribbled paper at the address in order to avoid eye contact with strangers. It was well past midnight and the night owls were just coming out to roam the streets for alcohol and prostitutes. The pungent smell of tobacco smoke and hard liquor was already engulfing her senses. She couldn't decide which was worse for her lungs – second hand smoke from the restaurant or from the streets.

An old man wearing tattered clothes approached her dangling a half empty whisky bottle in one hand, "Hey, little lady, you need a hand with those boxes?"

Her walking pace sped up involuntarily and she managed to out-walk the man before finding her breath again.

Half an hour later, she discovered that she was terribly lost and the location was nowhere to be found. She was even brave enough to ask for directions but still came up empty handed.

"Where the heck is this place?" She was beginning to think that there might have been a mistake with the address; sometimes when they get so busy such errors were bound to happen.

As exhaustion began to set in, she dropped the boxes on a nearby bus bench and took a breather to decide what would be the best course of action. If she didn't return in time, she would not hear the end of it. If she didn't return with the payment for the delivery, she had no doubt that Samantha would deduct the value from her wages.

After much contemplating, she thought it was far better getting scolded in the safety of Hieronymous than being alone on the 52nd Precinct. The moment she stood up she felt a dark figure push her into the hidden alleyway between two decrepit buildings.

The impact of being crushed between the side building of a warehouse and her attacker happened so suddenly that she lost her breath for a split second. She felt foolish for not noticing the danger around her in time and she only had herself to blame.

"Gimme your money!" The man whispered harshly into her ear as he pinned her to the wall. "Don't make a sound or else I'll slit your throat." Mima then felt a chilling metal blade against her neck and she froze. She couldn't think…. She couldn't breathe. She didn't want to die.

"Turn around, bitch!" The assailant roughly manhandled her and turned her around so that she was facing him. Unfortunately for her, he was a wearing a black ski-mask and she couldn't pinpoint a certain facial characteristic to report to the police if she made it out of this alive.

'Help, somebody' was the only thought looping in her mind. She was too frightened to do anything and he knew it. Instead of waiting for her to retrieve her wallet, he reached into her coat pockets and dug around until he found what he was looking for.

"Please, leave me alone." Mima whimpered between gasping breaths. "You have what you want."

"No, not quite." He admitted, smirking. "You're a pretty one aren't ya? I bet you were in this part of town looking for some attention. Good thing I'm hear to ease that itch of yours. Are you feeling as hot as I am?"

Her assailant's hands started moving along the contours of her body and ripped open the front collar of her coat. She couldn't believe what was happening to her. He wouldn't dare…. but he was.

"No… please." She pleaded as she attempted to push him aside.

With one hand, he used the knife to hold her in place as his other hand freely tore open the buttons of her blouse. Her hands were proving useless in defence. He was overpowering her with his body weight and the more she pushed him away, the harder he pushed her to stay rooted against the brick wall behind them.

He almost went wild when he saw the white-laced bra beneath her layered clothing. Her efforts at fighting back were making him more aroused by the minute. Very roughly he cupped her right breast and kissed her to silence her scream. The man forced a leg between her legs to keep her from fidgeting and fighting off any last of her attempts of escape. Very soon, he was going to be between those thighs and he grew hard just thinking about it.

She prepped herself with the last bit of her strength to kick him in the crotch and run like hell but he anticipated her counter and forcefully punched her in the stomach with one blow. The pain was excruciating and she had no choice but to bow over. Mima's wind was knocked out of her and she was only being held up from her attacker's body.

"You're going to pay for that, sweetheart." He laughed as he slapped her into submission. Blood began dripping from a cut that he made on her lips from the force of his blows. He stopped once he noticed that her fighting spirit had left.

At that point, she didn't care anymore. Despite the pain clouding her senses, she was still conscious enough to think that death was more enticing than this cruel punishment. Her vision became blurry and she prayed to be anything but conscious for the remainder of the rape.

The seconds ticked away the potential end of her innocence.

She felt her pants being unzipped and the cool night wind against her breasts that were now bare.

Seconds turned into minutes.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?" A thundering voice boomed from the lighted sidewalk.

"None of your goddamn business. Now, git!" She heard the attacker yell back.

"Get off of her!"

He abruptly loosened his grip on her and ran to attack the person interrupting his fun. The last thing she remembered was no longer being held up by the rapist and falling limply to the ground.

TBC


	9. Chance Reunion

**Identity Lost**

**AN:** Wow... Six months later and finally, I updated this fic. SO Sorry! I will finish this fic though... this I promise you. Hopefully this chapter will be suffice for now but I am currently working on the next chapter and it should (_should_ being the operative word) up within one week. AHHH I really want to finish this! ENJOY!

* * *

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

Nine – Chance Reunion

_It's strange how the fates of two individuals can change… _

Heero found himself wandering the streets, which was unusual for him since he tended to enjoy sulking in his grief alone. What was more surprising was the fact that he wasn't drunk; he had the buzz going but not drunk. 52nd Precinct was usually where he picked up the hookers and as he stumbled his way to that particular part of town, he felt a compelling force not to satisfy his carnal desires and continued to walk aimlessly.

Suddenly he heard the shuffling of clothing and a man grunting. At first, he thought the sounds were in his imagination but the sounds persisted. As he approached the noise, he noticed two figures camouflaged in shadow behind the alleyway. The first thought that came to mind was that they were lovers who couldn't wait until they found a bed. He quickened his pace to avoid seeing anything that he wasn't supposed to see but suddenly stopped when he heard, "Please…. Stop" It was the woman.

Within an instant, his senses perked up and he realized that whatever was going on was not consensual. He couldn't believe that he was almost ready to pass them without intervening.

As he approached the two shadows, it became more obvious that the woman was pressed against the wall and she was struggling to escape.

"Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Heero's voice boomed and echoed along the enclosed space.

He saw the masked figure turn toward him and shout, "None of your goddamn business, now git!"

"Get off of her." Heero responded threateningly as he took a few more steps towards them.

The man decided to rid the intruder before finishing his little transaction and released the woman for now. He approached Heero with knife in hand, ready to kill. Heero anticipated his opponent's moves before the man even realized as he easily blocked the man's swinging arm. They both struggled for command of the weapon until Heero got a hold of the attacker's arm and twisted it around at an awkward angle until he was forced to drop the knife or risk having a broken arm.

The man then resorted to armed combat, seeing that any mortal weapons were not going to help him. Heero dodged two punches that flew past his left shoulder and then finally landed a hard punch to the rapist's stomach. He folded over immediately and groaned.

"Leave now!" Heero called out. He wasn't even breaking a sweat but the other man was panting, trying to get more oxygen into his deprived lungs.

"Ah shit! You're not worth it." The man said before reclaiming his knife and then hobbled down the street. Heero trained his eyes at the coward as he disappeared down the street, almost daring him to return for a second beating. He ensured that the threat would not return until he saw to the woman lying on the pavement. "Hey, are you alright? Did he hurt you?" He asked, moving closer to her. When she didn't respond he suspected something must have been terribly wrong. He gently turned her over to lie on her back in order to assess her condition. The nearest streetlight was able to cast a narrow beam of light into the alley so that Heero could identify the victim. He took a closer look at the unconscious woman to make sure it was really who he thought it was. 

But…. It couldn't be her.

There was no mistaking the woman with the coal black hair that almost reached her shoulders and her heart-shaped complexion; it was the same woman he met with Duo and Hilde that night, Mima. The first thing that came to his mind was how on earth did she end up in a place like this.

He gently checked for any signs of chronic injuries and thanked the forces-that-be he didn't find any. For the first time in his life, he had no idea what the next best course of action would be; take her to the hospital, bring her home, or…. No, he wouldn't even consider the thought of taking her with him.

* * *

Xander Kava wobbled to the nearest bus stop and favored his right shoulder. He didn't realize how hard that guy had hit him until the adrenaline had worn off and he couldn't shake off the pain vibrating throughout his body. Kava ripped off his ski-mask and winced. His dark auburn hair was a mess but it didn't detract the sharp features on his face that made most women turn for a second glance. Most of the time the 40 year old used his shapely form to lure his prey and strike once they discover that it's too late to escape. Tonight, however, his appearance needed to be kept a mystery, as per his instructions. Xander Kava was just disappointed that he was unable to finish what he started. 

"Shit!" Kava cursed. He was going to need major painkillers to work off the headache and the aching muscles.

It didn't matter though, he promised himself. He was going to get rewarded for the job he pulled tonight and if not, there would be hell to pay. As the bus approached, he grinned for the first time in months.

* * *

_Hundreds of images danced in her mind, clips of another life. _

_A younger version of the Heero that she knew saying with absolute conviction, "I will destroy you." _

_Horrible machines engulfed the blue sky as bullets showered to the earth… "WHY CAN'T I KILL HER!"_

She could hear herself saying to him…_ "I don't care if I die… Heero, let me stay by you a little longer… I want to become as strong as you are…"_

_Finally a striking likeness of herself shattering into a thousand pieces as bullets continued to bombard the images._

Mima suddenly awoke, gasping, trying to breathe. She was shaking so hard that she didn't even notice she was in unfamiliar surroundings. Then everything came back to her with crystal clear clarity. Mima couldn't trust her memories at the moment for she didn't know whether the attack was real or a figment of her imagination. The other images she saw, she decided to shuffle them to the back of her mind to sort out later.

"So you're awake." She heard a quiet voice from the other side of the room, calm, soothing.

"Where am I?"

"You're safe." He didn't even try to hide the fact that he didn't answer her question.

Mima glanced around the room, hoping to find anything to help her identify the location. Perhaps the mugging and the rape was not all in her head. Rape. God, she couldn't believe it. Was she actually raped? She couldn't remember; everything was foggy and distorted. She noticed that she was covered with a blanket and lying on a double-sized bed. Her clothes were still in disarray but at least she was covered by a t-shirt that didn't belong to her.

_What the heck was going on?_ She only prayed it was some horrible nightmare but the clothes shot that theory down the drain. Her nerve endings werestanding upon high alertand she grew more and more afraid.

The darkness didn't help matters. Curtains were drawn and there wasn't a single light on. The man was still hidden in shadows and she couldn't determine whether it was her attacker or not. That lack of information made her heart pump faster and involuntarily made her more on edge. Could she possibly have been kidnapped as well?

"Who are you?" She asked, quivering.

Instead of responding, he asked a question of his own. "Are you hurt?"

'Why would her kidnapper wonder whether she was hurt?' It didn't make any sense to her. She suddenly noticed a shift of movement from his direction and could see the figure drawing closer to her.

Mima knew this was it; she had nowhere to run so she simply closed her eyes and waited. There was not enough energy and determination left in her to defend herself anymore. What came next shocked her into silence. The man gently grabbed her left wrist and began applying an antiseptic on the cuts. It stung so bad that she opened her eyes and wanted to pull her grasp away from the stinging. The pain she was feeling from the disinfectant was more proof than she needed that the attack was real.

"Hold still. It won't take much longer." He soothed.

She really wished she could see his face. From the moment he made contact with her she knew it couldn't have been the same man who attacked her. The one nursing her wounds was not as large, rough, and intimating as the man that will haunt her for the rest of her life. He worked as gently as he could from one arm to the next and then asked if she hurt elsewhere. All she could do was shake her head.

Mima slowly felt more comfortable in his presence. She guessed he was trying to show her that he was not a danger to her and she felt grateful to this stranger.

"Who are you?" She repeated, finding her strength return somewhat. She had an inkling that he was the man who saved her and her curiosity for him overcame her fear. "Can you please turn on the light? The darkness scares me."

As he put away the materials he used on the patient, he said, "There's a small lamp on the left side of the bed."

Mima slowly fumbled her way around as she looked for the lamp by touch. Once she flicked on the switch, it only provided a tiny glimmer of brightness that didn't reach half of the room. The only thing she could see of the mysterious figure was his silhouette. Still, it was a lot better than sitting in a void of black. There was something about his height and the way he held himself that triggered something in her memory. It almost looked like …. Well, there was only one way of finding out.

"Heero?" She whispered.

His name was like a signal that brought him out of hiding and he finally stepped forward and sat on the bed next to her. She let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding and took in every feature of Heero's face. It was a comfort to see someone familiar after the hell that she went through but she still had no idea what really happened to her.

"Yes, it's me" He responded. Now that she had one mystery solved, she still had no clue where she was.

She tried again, "Where are we?"

"My apartment. It's not much to look at but I get by." Mima looked around the room, seeing what she could see with the little light she had and noticed several empty beer cans and liquor bottles strewn around. A small television sat on a worn wooden stand on the far right-hand side of the room. The bedroom extended further backward where a mini kitchen was located with all the essential equipment needed for cooking. She realized that there were no walls to separate the rooms from each other. It looked like one gigantic room and only the furniture provided the distinguishing features. A couple of closed doors were located on the left side, which she assumed were closets, bathrooms, and perhaps the main door out of the apartment itself. He was right, there wasn't anything particular about his bachelor's pad except for the darkness. She guessed the room corresponded to the occupant's mood.

Once he noticed that she finished taking a mental tour of his apartment, he asked, "Are you sure you're not hurt anywhere else? I guess I should have taken you to the hospital but… I wasn't thinking." It still surprised him that he didn't do the logical thing and let medical professionals take a look at Mima. He still had no idea what possessed him to carry her limp body with him to his car and then driving to his apartment. Something in him told him not to let her out of his sight.

"Um… No I'm fine. Thank you." She said, not knowing what else to say.

Silence ensued, as neither of them knew what to do next.

"I think you should file a report at the police station, Mima." Heero offered, knowing quite well he should have done the exact thing once he was alone with her. It was yet another mistake he made that night.

"But I don't even remember what happened. All I know is the guy wanted my money and then… never mind."

"He tried to rape you." He finished for her, very bluntly.

"Uh… yes." She confirmed quietly. 'Tried' being the operative word. She couldn't bring herself to actually say that four-letter word, not yet. "And I can't go to the police."

Before Heero could disagree with her, she said it again with finality that left no room for argument. Mima was raised not to trust the authorities especially those in uniform. Samantha never liked them and preached to her and Jezzie how they were meddlesome and were never helpful. She knew the cops could do nothing for her as the culprit was long gone by now and she had nothing concrete for the authorities to go on except her word. She shuddered as she realized that she had just become another statistic.

"Mima, what were doing on that part of town anyway?" He asked, hoping he wasn't hitting any personal buttons.

"I was making a delivery and…Omigod! What time is it? I need to get back to the restaurant!" She jumped out of bed and tried to gain her balance but her head throbbed from the sudden motion.

Heero stood next to her for support and was surprised that she was able to think about work at a time like this. "Take it easy. It's a little past two in the morning. I'll call and let them know what happened."

"NO! Please…" Mima pleaded, holding onto his shirt to keep him from reaching the phone. "I don't want anyone to know. Just tell them I felt sick and decided to head home." After a ten-minute heated debate with Mima clearly the winner, Heero had no choice but to acquiesce and finally called Hieronymous with the news.

She slowly relaxed as she heard Heero lie for her over the phone. There was no doubt that Samantha will be having a field day with her disobedience but she didn't want to think about that right now. Mima understood Sam much better than anyone and she would accuse her of inventing an elaborate story to get out of work. In fact, that was how one of the earlier waitresses got fired since she had to run out on her shift when she received a call that her boyfriend got into a car accident. Her mother, Samantha, was not a forgiving woman when it came to making a profit. Sometimes she wondered how she could come from the same line of family when their values were on opposite sides of the spectrum.

She was lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice Heero hanging up and returning to her side. "You were making a delivery at 52nd Precinct? Who on earth would order anything from there?" He asked, warning senses perking up. Something about the whole situation didn't sit right with him.

"No clue. I was just sent out but I couldn't find the place. I must have been lost for a while and was pretty much a walking target out there. I guess you could say I asked for it." She explained, afraid to look at him. She felt ridiculous, almost like a child that was caught doing something bad. How did everything go so wrong for her on a simple delivery?

"You did _not_ ask for it Mima." He stated clearly. "What was the address of the place?"

She handed him the sheet of paper and wondered why he was giving her the third degree. He stared at the numbers and street address for what seemed like a long time before he returned his gaze back to her.

"What…What is it?" She asked.

"This place doesn't exist." He would have known too, since 52nd Precinct became his night time playground for the past couple of years. "Are you sure it's the address that was given to you?"

"Yes, of course. Unless it was copied wrong."

"I don't think so." Was all he said.

She became even more confused with the situation and she didn't want to think about it anymore. It was over, wasn't it? Her fingers reached for her necklace without conscious thought; it was the same to her as breathing. Mima couldn't explain it but she always felt better knowing that her necklace was a constant in her life but when she reached for it, something was wrong. The necklace wasn't there. Her hands frantically moved around her neck and what remained of her shirt but came up empty handed.

"Oh no!" She whispered to herself. It was gone…no way of retrieving it.

He saw how she became agitated so quickly and had no idea what was going on inside her head. "What's wrong, Mima?"

"I lost it. My… my necklace. It must have fallen when he …"

She was panicking and all for a piece of jewellery? It seemed uncanny to him but she was obviously disturbed by the idea of losing her necklace. "We can go back tomorrow when it's light out to see if we can find it. I think you need rest right now." He tried to talk logic into her frazzled senses.

"You don't understand, Heero. It's…it's all I have. I have to go back now!" She was off the bed in a flash and ran to the doors, looking for the one that would lead her out. The first one she hit was the bathroom and the second one finally met the hallway. The corridor lights streamed into the room like a beacon and she used it to look for her shoes that were taken off her feet.

She looked like she was in a trance and no matter how many times he called out her name it wasn't registering. "Mima!"

"I have to get it back. You don't understand." She repeated again as she got her shoes on and rushed out the door, not sure where she was going.

"Mima, dammit! I'll take you." He called, running after her. It seemed that he didn't have much choice. They were heading back to the crime scene.

* * *

Xander Kava stood in front of the door of his employer. He was ready to collect, as he knocked loudly, oblivious of what time it was. 

"Shhhh…. Would you cut it out? Do you want to wake all the neighbors up?" Jezzie hissed as she shoved him into the apartment. She hoped no one saw him come into the building.

"Look, I did what I was told. Now are you going to pay up or what?" Kava mumbled as he walked around the apartment and made himself at home.

"Do you have it?" Jezzie said.

"Yeah yeah. He reached into his long coat and pulled out a silver necklace. The dove dangled and shone in the light that was reflected from the ceiling bulbs. It was the same necklace that Mima never took off. She tried to grab it from his hands but he pulled it back before her fingers touched it. "Uh uh… not until I get my money first."

Two years back, she met Xander Kava when she ran with the wrong crowd. She was now glad that they had their chance encounter or else she would have never been able to get Mima's necklace. It was obvious that the silver chain around her neck was real and Jezzie had been trying to get a hold of the prize for a long time. As a result of the upcoming banquet she simply had to hire someone of Kava's calibre to get it for her. She had no qualms about stealing the little piece from 'Mima'. Mima enjoyed the high life for most of her childhood growing up as Relena, Darlian's daughter, after all.

Jezzie decided to play it his way and reached for her purse. She pulled out a few hundred dollar bills and asked, "Are you sure you made it look like a robbery?"

"Yes, of course. I know what I was doing." Kava grumbled. He couldn't believe that she was questioning his skills. Due to his luck with fate, he had over a decade to hone his skills to perfection.

"And you didn't hurt her? I don't really want her to get hurt." Jezzie exclaimed, feeling her guilty conscious ringing alarm bells.

He smirked as he replied in the negative. Kava didn't need to share every vivid detail with the people who paid him. As long as he got the job done, there were no complaints on either side. He liked to have his fun as well and unfortunately he didn't get his chance with the bitch that night.

As they made the exchange, Jezzie wanted him to leave as quickly as he arrived. She was glad that everything went off without a hitch and she managed to acquire the one piece of jewellery for the big event with Connor Striker.

"So that's it. Thanks for the business, sweetheart." Kava waved and disappeared into the night.

* * *

"It has to be here." Mima cried, crawling in the alleyway. Unfortunately, the lighting wasn't good enough between the buildings so she resorted to searching with her hands. She knew she was getting cuts from the pebbled rocks and broken glass on the ground but the pain wasn't even registering into her brain. 

Heero looked on, feeling helpless. Clearly she was in shock and losing her necklace was the final punch that drove her over the edge. "What does it look like? I'll try to help you look for it." He said calmly.

"I'm sure it was pulled off by accident so it has to be here somewhere." She chanted to herself. He knew she didn't hear him. "Why can't I find it Heero?" Tears started forming from her eyelids and she brushed them away in frustration. She was on a mission and she wasn't leaving until she had her necklace back.

Blood was beginning to drip from the newly formed cuts on her hands. The minute he noticed how she was hurting herself he grabbed her roughly and held her. "Mima, stop!" He shouted as she struggled to break free. He forced her to stand up and turned her to face him so she could see that he wasn't fooling around. "Mima, just stop. You're hurting yourself." He said softer this time.

"It's gone." She whispered, tears flooding her cheeks.

"Yes, I think so. Just… let it go." Heero replied as he held her tighter. Her head rested comfortably on his right shoulder and her arms naturally wrapped around his waist. They had no idea how long they stood there but neither wanted to break the embrace. He knew she needed him and she was grateful that he understood that.

She wanted to scream and destroy something. Nothing made sense in her life anymore. Why was she the one who had to make that delivery and why did the attacker have to choose her to rob from? Why did he have to rape her? Luckily it wasn't carried out but, unfortunately, it felt the same as if she were violated in the worst possible way. Mima didn't know what she did in this lifetime to warrant such a cold, unforgiving fate and she began shivering.

Heero soothed her as he felt her shaking uncontrollably. "It'll be alright. It's over now. Do you want me to take you home?" He asked, dreading her answer if she said yes.

"No, I don't want to be alone. Can I stay with you tonight?"

"Sure."

* * *

Two months later, Mima and Heero were still seeing each other. It was an unspoken relationship. The incident drew them both together and they made it a commitment to see each other every second night once she was off her shift. Sometimes they talked and most times they shared each other's company in comfortable silence. Neither could explain the sudden bond that was formed. 

Their private lives were still very much hidden. Not once has he questioned about her past or the significance of the piece of jewellery that she lost. She was satisfied with the little knowledge she gathered from Hilde that night with regards to Heero and hadn't bothered to press for more information. Ironically, they soon became inseparable.

It was Friday night and Mima was finally let off work a few minutes past midnight. When she walked outside she saw Heero leaning against his grey Toyota vehicle, hands in his pocket, with not a care in the world.

Mima approached him, slightly smiling to herself at his relaxed stance. "Hi"

He turned and looked her way as his version of a greeting. She'd already gotten used to his deficit of using words.

"Do you mind if we go for a late stroll around the neighborhood?" She asked. After having eight weeks of getting to know the guy, she wanted to bring something to his attention that she was certain would not sit well with Heero and his bottled up personality.

Once they were several minutes away from his parked vehicle, Mima began, "I know you've been having drinking problems and I know it's not my place to say this but, I'm worried about you."

She was met with dead air, as expected.

As they continued walking, Mima decided to be forward and just say what she had been meaning to say for weeks. "I want you to stop drinking."

She didn't realize that the warm body walking alongside her stopped abruptly until she was three steps ahead of him. Turning to face him, she was afraid of what his reaction would be to her blatant request.

"Look… forget I said anything. I knew it was a sensitive topic and…"

Before she had an opportunity to complete her thought, he spoke for the first time that night, "What do you know of my drinking? You know nothing."

Just as she guessed, she hit a sore spot in his life but she pressed on. "I think I know more about it than you do. You're trying to forget her, aren't you?" Mima didn't need to mention her name. They both knew who suddenly came up in their conversation. "It's not going to work, Heero. Alcohol is poison and not the solution. You must understand!"

"Enough!" He said hoarsely, taking deep breaths to calm his temper. Heero knew she was right. He still couldn't believe how that ancient topic was able to stir such a tumultuous effect from him. God knows it was beaten to the ground thousands of times from friends, coworkers, and now from the only person that he was slowly beginning to open up to.

"You loved her." She exclaimed, more as a statement than a question. Mima was a woman after all and she knew the signs when she saw it. Heero had loved this woman.

"You know what the funny thing is?" He explained. "She'd been drifting further and further from my mind whenever I'm with you."

Now it was her turn to be mute. How was she supposed to respond? Did he just make a confession to move their relationship up a level? All she knew was that he looked vulnerable so she closed the distance between them and wanted desperately to touch him but held back. "I'm here."

There was so much left unsaid that neither knew how to proceed.

Finally she couldn't hold it in anymore and said, "I'll continue to be here for you as long as you stop drinking." As if on cue, Mima reached for his hands and simply held them as he contemplated his next course of action. She fixed her eyes to his and willed him to make the right decision.

"Relena's really gone, isn't she?"

She wasn't clear whether he was speaking to her or to himself but she figured he was battling his own demons at that moment and said nothing.

"Mima… I'll stop." Heero finally admitted as he made a silent vow to stop drinking, to stop seeking prostitutes, and, more importantly, to stop reminiscing about a dead woman. It was time to look ahead for once in his life.

* * *

His loyalty to Mima never wavered. They've been seeing each other for over six months and his eyes still lit up whenever he saw her. She, on the other hand, would never realize how important she had become in his life. 

Heero walked around the vicinity of Preventers to stretch his legs on his break. It was late afternoon and the streets were as busy as ever. Businessmen were hustling to make their next meeting on time as cab drivers honked their horns in agitation or in some sort of ironic musical debut.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a young woman walking his way. She dressed to the nines in a pale Chanel suit and jewellery to complement the outfit. The jewellery was what caught his attention. It was a silver encrusted necklace with … a dove. It looked exactly like Relena's but that was impossible. He held his breath and lifted his gaze to the face of the woman and it was like staring at a ghost. Her hair, her cheekbones, and her eyes.

"Why don't you watch where you're going?" A middle aged man muttered when Heero was rooted in his spot. He hadn't even realized he stopped moving.

* * *

Jezzie felt lighthearted. She just came from a brief visit to her unofficial boyfriend's office. Despite the fact that Striker was annoyed with her, she knew she turned a few heads as she walked out his building with her fabulous new suit. It almost ate up most of her savings account but seeing how Connor Striker ogled at her was more than enough compensation. 

As she continued walking down the cluttered streets, a strange man grabbed her arms and turned her to face him.

"Relena?"

"W..what?" Jezzie stuttered.

"Relena, it's you! Don't you recognize me?" Heero argued as his grip tightened on her arms. She didn't seem to show any signs of recognition on her face but he was desperate to pull her out of whatever trance she was. It had to be her.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Let me go." Jezzie said.

As the strange man in front of her continued spouting past events and names of people she had never heard of,something slowly clicked in her head and she knew how she could take advantage of this opportunity. It was so simple and there was no telling if this situation would present itself again. She had to make it the best performance she's ever done.

"We all thought you were dead. What happened to you all those years ago?" He demanded, trying to control his excitement and fear that she would disappear again.

"I…I don't remember. I had an accident a couple of years back and I have no recollection of anything prior to the accident. Do I know you? Can you tell me who I am?" Jezzie lied, feigning innocence and shyness.

"How many years?" He asked.

"Ten."

TBC


	10. The Return of Relena Darlian

**Identity Lost**

**AN:** Okay folks. I really apologize for reposting this chapter. A friend was kind enough to notice a few problems with the plot and I decided to fix some things up before I started working on the next chapter. So in case you've already read chapter 10, most of it is essentially the same aside from some minor changes – therefore you might not need to reread the chapter, as I'm sure you guys have better things to do with your lives hehehe.

Cheers! JK

* * *

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own. 

Ten – The Return of Relena Darlian

_Obstacles in life are mere stepping stones to a greater future. _

The intercom was chiming and Pagan thought that it was odd since the Peacecraft Estate seldom had visitors in the early afternoon.

"Peacecraft residence. May I ask who's inquiring?" Pagan asked over the microphone.

"Heero Yuy. Please let Zechs know that I have Relena with me."

Pagan's heart stopped. He hadn't heard either name in a long time and it was the latter that made him cling to some form of inner strength from breaking down. When he heard about Relena's disappearance all those years ago, the pain was almost unbearable. She was far more than a little girl that he raised into a young woman; she was a daughter. He reluctantly accepted her death in order to stop being hopeful and then having that hope shatter over and over again.

"Please come in." Pagan managed to say.

Heero was the first to walk into the great expanse of the entryway while the woman who greatly resembled Relena followed in his footsteps. Despite Pagan's aging body, he couldn't deny what his ancient eyes saw. Relena. Heero was eyeing the butler carefully and he couldn't blame the old man for staring at the woman. He couldn't believe it himself.

"Uh…" Pagan almost forgot where he was until he managed to say. "I'm afraid the man you seek in currently tied up in a meeting and will not be returning until this evening."

Heero took a few seconds to absorb what he said and replied. "We'll wait."

Heero and Jezzie were taken to the sitting room. The large expanse of the room could easily fit a party of one hundred. A marble encased fireplace occupied the far side of the wall, which clearly was more of an ornamental piece than a functional one from the evidence of the thin film of dust that blanketed the arches and intricate designs on it. Furniture was neatly strewn by the walls and around the fireplace. Monet's artwork hung meticulously on the walls that lacked the natural beauty in which the paintings more than compensated.

Jezzie couldn't absorb all that was found in the room. From the minute she entered the estate it felt like a dream. It seemed more like a mansion to her. The lavish lifestyle and the opulence were so far removed from her life that it seemed like a whale attempting to survive on land. Regardless, she could definitely get accustomed to this kind of life.

Out of the corner of her eye, Heero was on his cell with several people before putting it back in his jacket pocket. With every passing hour another individual joined them in the waiting game. They were all very handsome men, Jezzie noticed, who were acquainted with Heero although not many words were exchanged. The first newcomer, a blond, had kind eyes. The next two came together, one with chocolate brown hair that was styled uniquely to shadow his right eye and a Chinese man. A man with a long braid was the last to arrive and he was the most dynamic of the five men. She concluded that Heero must have been on the phone with them and instructed them to meet here.

The one thing that they all had in common was the shocked faces that they couldn't hide when they first laid eyes on her. Heero introduced all of the men to her and she slowly found the room closing in on her as a result of her deception. Jezzie didn't know if she had it in her to really pull it off. It was true that she could use the amnesia as an excuse but she didn't have any of Mima's mannerisms. Perhaps she should throw in the proverbial towel before it was too late…

At that moment, Zechs Merquise entered and the room became a silent tomb. "Yuy, what is the meaning of…" He turned mute when his eyes landed on Jezzie.

"Relena?" Zechs managed to utter. Soon all eyes were on her.

No one had any clue what to say next. Speechless. Hopelessly speechless.

Heero decided to step in. "Zechs, I found her. She's suffering from amnesia. She doesn't remember any of us." A soft gasp was heard from the audience. Heero didn't find that surprising since he decided to explain everything once all the members of the party arrived. Therefore the former Gundam pilots had to sit idle wondering why a Relena look-alike was sitting in the same room as them, until now.

"It's Relena! I know it has to be her. The necklace that she's wearing, I had that custom made on her eighteenth birthday." Heero sounded desperate even to himself. He didn't know whom he was trying to convince, them or himself.

Jezzie thought this was a good time as any to speak up and said, "I don't want to be a burden to anyone but I really don't remember my past. I can leave now if you'd like." She knew her performance was Oscar-winning. From her face looking at the carpet lining, she was the shy girl personified. Jezzie waited a few beats before standing and moving to the door.

Zechs blocked her path, his eyes never wavered from hers. He gently wrapped his arms around Jezzie in a warm embrace for her to be more at ease with herself. "Stay, please."

Jezzie slowly nodded her acquiescence and awarded herself a point on her mental scorecard. Zechs then looked down to where the necklace was and picked it up for closer inspection; he didn't recall Relena ever wearing much jewellery in the past. "Yuy, you're sure this is the necklace?"

"Undeniably so."

Jezzie spoke up. "I've been wearing this for as long as I can remember. It seemed important to me somehow but I never knew why, sir."

Duo wrapped a friendly arm around a subdued Wufe's shoulders and cheered. "Hey, Relena's back! We can't say this is the strangest thing that has ever occurred but it's certainly something."

"Welcome back, Relena." Quatre announced. He noticed that Trowa and Wufei remained silent as usual but their faces couldn't hide the fact that they were sceptical with the situation. Quatre wasn't entirely convinced himself but she seemed like the genuine article and the necklace certainly shattered more than a few doubts in any of their minds.

"So…" Duo said. "What's the next step? Shouldn't we call for a press conference and notify ESUN?"

"Not at this point." Zechs replied authoritatively. "If the media gets wind of this, we'll have a major problem on our hands." It seemed like he wanted to say something else but he stopped himself.

"What about where she's been all these years?" Trowa remarked suddenly. "Nothing has been explained to us. Heero, you care to enlighten us?" Heero's silence was proof enough that he didn't think that far ahead, which was uncharacteristic of the Perfect Soldier.

"There will be plenty of time for questions later." Zechs interjected, then turned back to Jezzie. "Would you mind staying here for a few days with me? Maybe something might trigger your memory."

"You mean that?" She shouted enthusiastically and she immediately realized her mistake. 'Relena' would always be reserved and polite. She tried to recover by saying, "I mean, I would be delighted, sir. I'd give anything to recover my memories."

"Call me Milliardo. I am…. your brother after all."

* * *

"Mima, have heard the news?" Catarina Strathmore, one of the waitresses, exclaimed as they were prepping the restaurant for the dinner rush. 

Wiping one of the square tables set for four, she looked up and said. "What news?"

"Haven't you been watching TV lately? It's been plastered on every channel. All the media outlet's been feeding on it like wasps to a flame. Relena Darlian's not dead; she's been found. It's the biggest story since hearing about her supposed death all those years ago." Catarina said excitedly.

"What?" Mima stopped what she was doing in order to fully understand what her friend was telling her.

"Relena Darlian! You know, the young girl who changed the face of politics as we know today? Well, what do I know of politics but the point is, she's been found." She continued her story without so much as taking another breath and didn't notice how Mima wasn't really paying attention to the dinner prep. "Actually, it was more of a media leak than anything since nobody official is coming forward with irrefutable proof. Can you believe that? It almost feels like that Russian princess, Anastasia's story but, of course, we know that story ended up being nothing but a myth. This, though, is the real thing. Relena's alive!"

"I guess that must be great news." Mima replied politely. She couldn't help but feel slightly overwhelmed by what Relena's return would mean to Heero. "Um… excuse me." She said, moving to the employee's lounge for some time to think.

Luckily she was the only one in the room that was cramped in the corner of the building and she sat on the bench, her movements like molasses. If Relena had really returned, that would explain why she wasn't able to find Heero for the last two weeks. Mima even ventured to his apartment to see how he was doing but no one was home. Now that she had time to really think on the matter, she felt foolish that the thought of being a part of Heero's life ever occurred to her.

From a third-person's perspective, she was the bad guy who was trying to convince Heero to move on with his life. Perhaps Hilde was right to warn her from the beginning to stay away from him. He carried far too much emotional baggage but wasn't she the same? She'd wanted to tell him about her story… or lack of one for that matter. She had no history and wasn't that just as damaging as losing someone precious in one's life?

Mima mentally shook that thought from her mind. She felt ridiculous about the whole situation but she knew she needed to know the truth about Relena's return or else it would consume her. Without thinking she dialed Hilde's number and urged to meet her once she was off work. Mima felt horrible when her friend said that it wouldn't be a problem. Guilt ridden, she had no idea how else to figure out the truth behind the medias' claims unless she asked Hilde, who was Duo's girlfriend and Duo, in turn, worked closely with Heero who would have a better idea whether the rumor was true.

The hours passed slowly and Mima was certainly preoccupied with thoughts of Relena. She missed two orders and almost dropped a pitcher of beer. It simply wasn't her night. The sooner she could talk to Hilde, the better she would feel, or so she thought.

* * *

Hilde was already waiting for Mima by the main entrance to Hieronymous. Mima gave her a quick wave and wrapped her jacket tightly around her to combat the chill that was setting in for the late evening. 

"Hey girl, how's it going?" Hilde greeted cheerfully.

"I've been better." She replied, offering a slight smile. "You want to grab some coffee?" They headed to the same café where she met Heero the night when they met. That time seemed ages ago to her now.

"So" Hilde started, "What's troubling you?"

Mima looked up from her steaming cup and muttered, "How did you know something was wrong?"

Hilde chuckled and took her time replying. "Although you're a very private person, you wear your emotions on your sleeve. This is why you asked me to come out with you tonight, isn't it? Something's on your mind. Well, spill it out! I'm a terrific sounding board."

She sighed and then began. "It's… about Heero."

That one name had Hilde sitting up straighter and curious. "Ok, you've got me hooked. What about Heero?"

"Uh…." Mima began. "Remember when you suggested that I should avoid him, and well…. Um…" She couldn't believe she was getting tongue-tied. Since she hadn't been in any major relationship, Heero was the closest form of an intimate relationship. Perhaps that's why she was so nervous.

Noting her discomfort Hilde said, "I'm not here to judge, Mima. Whatever you have to say, I will hold it with the strictest confidence."

"I've been seeing him for the last couple of months." She explained softly. "Nothing serious, mind you. I think we have just been enjoying each other's company talking and having a few drinks."

Hilde reached for her cappuccino and sipped as she absorbed what Mima was telling her. She had no idea that the attraction between them was so strong. Her only fear was that Mima's feelings would be hurt; she was a striking resemblance to Relena after all and she was unsure what Heero's position was when it concerned Mima. Was he only using her as a Relena replacement? She then voiced her thoughts, "Mima, don't take this the wrong way… Heero was deeply in love with Relena and since you look so much like her, he could be…."

"No, I know that's not it. We already discussed it and he promised me that that wasn't the reason why he continues to see me." She can hear herself not sounding as confident.

"Mima…"

"Hilde, I think I'm in love with him."

That statement was so shocking that Hilde stared at her for what felt like hours. "No, don't. Sweetie, he's not worth it." She was trying to push her brain into coming up with a good enough reason for Mima to end her foolish quest. "You're going to have your heart torn to shreds. He's never going to forget her…."

"I know." Mima whispered, defeated. "But I can't help it. How can you stop an emotion? If someone asked you to stop being with Duo, what would you say?" She asked in retaliation.

"I…. You're right. As the saying goes, you can't help who you love." Hilde sighed loudly.

They sat there reminiscing in their own thoughts and taking the occasional sip from their cups. Mima was beginning to feel that perhaps it wasn't such a great idea getting Hilde involved. She had recently come to terms with her feelings for Heero and it still felt awkward to share her emotions.

"I don't want to see you get hurt, that's all." Hilde admitted. Mima claimed that she would be fine and she would accept any outcome that will come from their unusual relationship. "As long as you're absolutely sure you want to be tangled in Heero's life. Is that all you wanted to tell me?" As Mima shook her head slowly, she knew this was going to be a long night with her friend.

"There's a rumor spreading that Relena is still alive and that she's found." She then relayed the information that Catarina had explained to her only a few hours ago. "What I want to know is whether it is true or not. If it is, then I have no choice but to stay away from Heero."

"Mima…"

"How could I possibly compete with Relena? I couldn't and I wouldn't do that to him. He deserves to be with the woman he loves, doesn't he?"

Hilde had no clue how to respond so she started with what she could answer. "First of all, I have heard the news spreading. You know how they like to spin stories that sell and we all know that anything in relation to Relena Darlian makes the front page." However, Hilde was also feeling a bit nostalgic from the recent events and was not truly revealing her true thoughts in the matter. She felt that Mima needed more comforting than she did tonight.

Mima still felt unsure about everything. What Hilde said had merit but she still couldn't shake it off. She remembered how she was still unable to locate him for over fourteen days. "So, Duo didn't mention anything to you?"

Suddenly it made sense why Mima came to her; it was her connection to Duo. Unfortunately, Hilde didn't think she would be able to help Mima in her quest. Duo was acting quite strangely around herself recently. He was being intensely secretive with work and only left brief phone messages apologizing for not returning her calls. It felt as if he was urging her to dig into his work and find out what was going on behind his back. Hilde wasn't sure whether she should give voice to her concerns.

"I'll pretend not to be offended by your tactics, Mima. I'm pretty sure you know what I'm talking about but I also understand how irrational anyone can get when they're in love."

"I'm sorry." She uttered sincerely. "I didn't know what else to do."

Hilde had no choice but to ease her friend's pain and said, "Duo said nothing to me." She knew Mima wasn't convinced but Hilde probably knew as much as the next person on the street. "Guess I wasn't much help, huh?" She said by way of apology. Hilde didn't want to bring up her concerns with her at the moment.

"No, that's perfectly fine. I'm sorry again for trying to see if Duo had mentioned anything to you. I just assumed that perhaps he caught wind of something from Heero." Mima replied disappointedly. "I haven't seen him for a couple of weeks and the news about Relena made me assume things. You're probably thinking that's pretty stupid of me."

Hilde looked seriously at her and retorted, "I would never think that of you. Don't be so hard on yourself."

"Yeah," Mima half agreed. "I just hope Heero's doing okay. Thanks for listening, Hilde. I'd appreciate it if you could keep our conversation strictly between the two of us."

"Don't worry about that." Hilde said. "Just take care of yourself, okay?" She only hoped she could take her own advice. Hilde needed to figure out what was going on with Duo or else the curiosity would eat away at her like the plague.

* * *

Things were spinning out of control. They had no idea how the information leaked from private quarters but the fact of the matter was they needed to neutralize the threat. 

There was only a select few who knew of Relena's supposed return that included the former Gundam Pilots, Lady Une who was now the Executive Director of Preventors, and Noin. Zechs was confident that no one from the exclusive group would start the leak. He recalled Une suggesting not to do anything and let the news die a natural media death. If there were no evidence then the public would lose faith in the news. Keeping her secret was a matter of international security. Who knew how the opposing parties of parliament and activist groups would react to Relena. It was understandable that everyone did not mourn her 'death'.

After much contemplation, Zechs knew the best course of action was to come forward with the truth.

Although Relena's stay was extended to another couple of weeks, her memory had not improved. In fact, her behavior around the staff at the estate was very strange. She was defensive and authoritative. But he gave her the benefit of the doubt. No one could possibly fathom how the harsh world had changed her in the last decade. Enough years had withered by and it was time to officially determine whether Relena had truly returned from the dead… with a blood test.

* * *

Jezzie couldn't believe it. They wanted a goddamned blood test! She thought it would be enough if she told Mima's story ranging from the car accident, being unofficially adopted from a kind family, then living with a sister and finally to working at Hieronymous, but alas, they wanted 100 certainty whether they had the right woman or not. She wasn't completely lying from that standpoint since it was _Relena's_ story after all but it was simply told by the wrong person. It was obvious that they wanted to conduct a further investigation relating to her supposed past but she was adamant that the two co-owners of Hieronymous saved her and had the compassion to look after her. _Her_ brother decided to drop the topic for now. 

Jezzie was beginning to think she was getting in way over her head. Perhaps it wasn't a good idea sending those anonymous messages to the television networks and newspapers. She thought it would be fun to get some airtime and see what it was really like to live in the shoes of Relena Darlian. Taking a glance around her room and all the jewelry she purchased with the money that 'her brother' gave her, she refused to let it go. Mima didn't deserve this life. She didn't even know how to have a good time and was constantly wasting her efforts in charity work. Jezzie was determined to figure out a solution at all cost.

* * *

Jezzie managed to convince Mima to visit her at some sort of estate. Mima really had no desire to go but she hadn't seen Jezzie in over two weeks and she didn't show up for any of her shifts at work. Strangely enough, this wasn't unusual behaviour for Jezzie. She went wherever the wind took her and their parents stopped caring about where she was as long as they weren't pulled into her problems. Mima remembered one time three years ago when she ran off with one of her boyfriends to Las Vegas and turned out broke and was arrested for a public disturbance charge. Harry and Sam were not pleased when they needed to head to the city of lights to pay her bail. This stunt, however, wasn't as outrageous as her previous adventures and Mima was thankful for small favors. 

She recalled Jezzie's phone call two days ago and she claimed to have found new friends and a new way of life. How someone could achieve that in less than a month Mima had no idea. Yet, she felt compelled to see Jezzie's new life. She practically urged her to visit for a few days so Mima decided it was a good time as any to take a some days off work despite Sam's grumblings.

Looking at the address she quickly scribbled down on paper, she did a double take at the massive structure sitting on the plot of land that was identified by the address.

_This is where Jezzie's staying?_ She thought.

The architecture was impeccable, like something from a movie. The estate covered 200,000 square feet at least! A granite encased fountain stood prominently in front of the main entrance for cars to drive up to the door. Mima couldn't tell exactly how many rooms there were in the building but it reminded her of the traditional European estates that housed politicians and world-renowned celebrities.

She reluctantly walked up the stairs to the door and rang the doorbell, doubting that this was the right place. A butler with gentle eyes answered the door and, for the second time, stood staring wide-eyed and speechless.

"Hello, sir. I'm looking for my sister, Jezzie. I might not have the right house but I thought I'd check."

Pagan could keep himself from staring. How was this possible? She looked just like Relena aside from her coal-black hair.

"Sir?"

He didn't realize he was still rooted to the floor beside the parted doorway. "Who did you say you were looking for, Miss?"

"Jezzie. My name is Mima and she informed me that she was staying here." Mima pulled the address out of her pocket to show the man.

A third voice entered the conversation and pulled Pagan away from the door not too gently. "Oh, this is for me, Pagan. You may go now." Jezzie ordered.

"But… but Miss Rel.."

"I can handle this. Have I made myself clear?" She interrupted before he could say the word 'Relena.'

Pagan left the foyer, knowing full and well that he was dismissed. However, the thoughts about the young lady at the door wouldn't leave his mind.

"Mima! I'm so glad you came." Jezzie announced as she dragged her into the sitting room. "I have a guest room for you and tonight you can meet my friends. I've already told them that I'll be inviting my sister."

"Uh… Jezzie, that's not necessary. I just came by to see how you were doing." Mima replied.

"Nonsense. It will be fun!"

Somehow Mima wasn't so sure.

Dinner was arranged to be at 7pm and since Mima still had another hour before making an appearance, she decided to look around. There were so many rooms that she was afraid she might get lost. Surprisingly, her surroundings felt vaguely familiar so she had a strange sensation of knowing where she was going. All the rooms were ornately furnished and she noticed that some places were reconstructed as a result of damages that were incurred during the war.

_Why do I feel like I've been here before?_

As she passed another hallway, she saw several candid photographs of a baby girl and a boy with flowing blond hair cradling her in his small arms. There was no doubt that the two were related, siblings perhaps. Mima picked up the picture frame to have a closer look. She didn't know how long she was mesmerized with the photo until a voice disturbed her thoughts.

"What are you doing?" The man said from the end of the hall.

She was so startled that she accidentally dropped the photo onto the plush carpeting. He walked towards her and bent to pick up the photo by her feet. The man towered over her and possessed the confidence of a natural leader. His long blond hair nearly reached his waist and he was formally dressed in a navy blue business suit.

Mima noticed his shocked appearance of recognition once they made eye contact but he quickly recovered with a question. "So you're the sister, huh?"

"Yes. My name is Mima." She extended her right hand in greeting. "It's nice to meet you, mister…."

"Merquise. Despite the fact that you're not real sisters, you have a striking resemblance to her." Zechs commented as he shook her warm hand in his.

"Strange isn't it? Some might think that since we've been living with each other for so long, it's only natural that we end up looking alike." She offered by way of explanation.

"Mr. Merquise, may I please inquire whether that is you in the photo?" Mima nodded her head at the picture that he just returned to its rightful place.

"That was a long time ago."

She felt that she hit a sore spot and decided not to intrude on personal matters. "Are you heading down for dinner as well?"

He chuckled softly and simply nodded. "I should think so since I do live here."

"Oh." Mima felt so stupid. She needed to learn how to keep her mouth shut in unfamiliar surroundings.

They headed to the sitting room to wait and it seemed that everyone attending the dinner party were present.

Jezzie was dressed to the nines in a satin pearl gown entertaining a group of men their age. Her sister quickly stood up and offered Mima a hug and introduced her to Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei. They all shared the same shocked appearance on that of the kind butler that Mima remembered who opened the door and also of Mr. Merquise. She was slowly becoming annoyed from the response she was receiving whenever people met her for the first time. The fourth gentleman who was crowded around Jezzie looked surprisingly very familiar.

"Duo? Duo Maxwell?" Mima said hesitantly.

He looked just as shocked to see her in the room. "Wow, Mima. What are you doing here?"

"I…I'm here to see my sister." She replied as she gestured in Jezzie's direction with a slight nod of her head.

Duo had no idea what Mima's relation to Relena was but it seemed that the night was just about to get much longer. "Your sister! You mean Relena?"

"What?" Before Mima could recover from hearing Relena's name spoken and question about it, Zechs announced that dinner was ready and everyone left the sitting room accordingly. All the men moved so quickly that she had trouble pondering what Duo had just revealed and walking with the pack at the same time. She decided to let it go for the moment.

The man she just met, Mr. Merquise, walked her to an empty seat by Jezzie and helped her to the seat.

"I'm so glad you're here, Mima." Jezzie beamed and took her seat as well. "Everyone, this is the sister that I've been living with." She said as a formal introduction.

"I believe I have met some of you before." Mima commented and smiled warmly at Duo.

Just then, Heero Yuy walked into the room and quickly sat next to Jezzie and apologized for his tardiness. Utter shock was all that Mima felt. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think. She hadn't seen him in so many weeks that she almost forgot what he looked like and sounded like. Mima didn't care that she looked like a lovesick puppy. She just wanted to reach out and touch him to know that he was real. It would appear that he didn't even notice her as he kept he head lowered and seemed distracted.

"Heero?" She whispered, urging the man to look at her.

He froze on the spot and wouldn't dare raise his eyes to the voice that just said his name. _It couldn't be her._ He thought. All eyes at the table were now on him. Heero had no choice but to look up and make eye contact with Mima.

TBC


	11. Reminiscence

**Identity Lost**

A/N: Thanks for all your reviews and constant support! I really appreciate your comments, as they're the perfect motivation to keep me writing. Please ignore _RK_ who's been reviewing… he's my kid brother and has nothing better to do with his time than to make my life miserable haha…. ENJOY THIS CHAPTER!

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

Eleven – Reminiscence

_Tea is drunk to forget the din of the world. _

Mima couldn't figure out why Duo and Heero were here. How were they connected to Jezzie? She almost forgot how Duo mentioned Relena's name before Heero's appearance but now she knew there was something amiss here. It all felt like a horrible dream that she desperately wanted to escape.

"Heero?" She tried again, knowing the image she saw through her irises couldn't have deceived her.

He really wished he wasn't late for dinner. Some sort of introduction must have been made in the beginning since she was the newcomer. There were too many questions running through his brain cells and yet, he was numb from shock of seeing her again. Heero felt horrible with the way he left things with Mima. Over the last several weeks she had magically rebuilt his life only by her presence. He had remained sober since their talk and he had been gradually turning his life around. Although they never had a romantic relationship he was beginning to feel emotions that he thought long dead and buried. However, all that changed when Relena reentered his life. Relena needed him now more than ever and he understood perfectly where his loyalties lie. Despite the internal pep-talk, he still felt uncomfortable and highly suspicious of Mima. Heero hated himself for feeling that way but she wasn't here coincidentally. She knew how close he was with Relena… Would she be brave and foolish enough to break them up? Something told him to pay close attention to her.

"Mima, what are you doing here?" He asked callously.

She blinked a few times but was unable to answer. It seemed like he was a complete stranger. Heero never spoke with daggers in his voice to her before.

Duo thought it was rather odd that they looked quite familiar with each other. Perhaps there was more going on than he knew about. Regardless of the unspoken tension between them, Duo decided to cut in to help ease the ill feeling. "She came to visit, that's all."

She was thankful for the distraction. "Yes, I came to visit Jezzie."

All the men looked at her confused.

"Who's Jezzie?" Quatre asked for the group.

Jezzie gave a sheepish smile and said, "That would be me. That's the name I've been going by before I discovered my _real_ name."

"Relena's your sister?" Heero asked, bewildered. Now he recalled that Relena briefly mentioned she was bringing someone to dinner but he never imagined it would be Mima. The shock factor was mutual it seemed with Mima.

"What?" Mima blurted out, much in the same fashion when Duo asked the question just moments before.

"Who's Relena? What are you talking about?" She felt her body and soul getting sucked into a black hole.

Jezzie looked sharply at her and said, "I am Relena. I've always been Relena but I don't remember."

"But I thought…" Nothing made any sense to her. How could Jezzie be Relena? Harry and Sam were her biological parents, weren't they? So Mima gave voice to her question.

"That's impossible. I was adopted." Jezzie announced proudly.

Something was very wrong with the situation. Jezzie could very well have been lying but she wasn't so sure. The family she grew up with didn't share anything remotely private with her so it _could_ be possible that Jezzie was also adopted like her.

Heero then laid a gentle hand over Jezzie's and said, "Enough. Let's just enjoy our dinner."

Appetizers were brought out in intricately designed Chinaware and everyone began forking into their salmon in vodka cream sauce, all except one.

She felt a blade piercing through her heart. Mima refused to believe the rumors and yet, there she was. Jezzie was Relena Darlian. She didn't think she could ever overcome the profound news, not any time soon anyway.

Although Heero never officially belonged to her, it still hurt.

"Mima, are you alright?" Quatre prodded gently. "You haven't touched your plate. Do you not like salmon?"

"I… I'm fine." She replied softly. "Excuse me." Mima stood and made some lame excuse to use the restroom. She just wanted to get out of the room while she could; the air was becoming unbearably thin to her liking.

_(Moments Later...)_

Things were looking very interesting indeed. Jezzie was unaware that Mima was already well acquainted with Duo and Heero, most especially Heero. The glances Mima made toward Heero's direction was enough to spell it out for her. Mima was never any good at masking her emotions. Jezzie was growing fond of Heero herself. He was very independent, incredibly mysterious, and not too hard on female eyes either.

In fact, Jezzie felt it only fair to steal Mima's man since she had Conner Striker wrapped around her pretty little fingers. Poetic justice, or something like that.

"I think I'll check on Mima to see if she's doing okay. She's been gone for a while now." Jezzie said to the group and pulled her chair back.

"Relena?"

"Yes, Heero?"

"Where's your necklace?"

Shit. She was hoping he didn't see but who was she trying to fool? He was a secret spy or an important diplomatic figure with the government; she never figured that out. Jezzie never really cared about anything outside of her realm of influence.

Since Mima was coming over, she obviously couldn't have worn the necklace in front of her without getting caught. Now, she had to think, fast.

"The chain broke so I'm getting it fixed. Despite the fact that I feel naked without it, it must get fixed or else I'll run the fear of losing it when I do wear it." She smiled apologetically.

"Well, go find Mima then." Heero said. Relena's response seemed strange to him. He knew with certainty that the chain couldn't have broken off no matter what type of strenuous activity she was doing. What he didn't know was why she lied to him about it.

_(In the restroom, Mima contemplates her situation...)_

Mima gently splashed cool water from the sink onto her face. She didn't know how she could bring some color back into her cheeks before going back out there.

She stared at her reflection and willed her mind to make sense of what she just learned. The running water from the faucet gave her an eerie calm as she tried to remember her own past.

After what seemed like hours when she knew only a few minutes had gone by, nothing was forthcoming but a blinding headache. Mima groaned in defeat. She looked up at the mirror again and recalled the strange dream she had at Heero's place all those nights ago.

Those images…. Funny how she hadn't given another thought to the dream since then. She attempted to conjure up those images, as she remained transfixed with her reflection.

_A younger version of the Heero that she knew saying with absolute conviction, "I will destroy you." _

_Horrible machines engulfed the blue sky as bullets showered to the earth… "WHY CAN'T I KILL HER!"_

_She could hear herself saying to him… "I don't care if I die… Heero, let me stay by you a little longer… I want to become as strong as you are…"_

_Finally a striking likeness of herself shattering into a thousand pieces as bullets continued to bombard the images._

She had always thought the young girl in the dream was herself. Only they felt too real to have personally happened to her. It seemed more likely if Relena lived those moments with him. Finally she understood.

Relena… the dream was about Relena. She was more certain of that than anything. She dreamed about Relena and Heero. Perhaps she wanted to be the girl in question so that she could be alongside him. The dream was simply an outlet for her repressed conscious thoughts to be with Heero. She didn't know how else to explain it.

Mima shut the water off in frustration and grabbed some Kleenex on the counter to dry her face. This person, Relena, was poisoning her thoughts whether she was awake or not. But the one thing that continued to confuse her was how on earth did they figure out that Jezzie was truly Relena, the one they were searching for all these years… and what proof did she have on her person that was irrefutable?

"Mima, are you in there?" Jezzie spoke softly as she rapped on the door twice.

"I'll be right out." She replied, straightening her simple beige blouse and black skirt that reached her knees. Mima tried not to think about how vastly different she was from _Relena's_ evening attire. There was simply no comparison between microwave dinners and gourmet cooking from a distinguished world chef. Be that as it may, there were far more shattering issues to be concerned about such as the fact that Relena had indeed been found and that Jezzie, Jezzie of all people, was the very person that Heero was searching for.

Mima opened the barrier between them and decided to go for broke by attacking her verbally before Jezzie got another word in. Jezzie may be Relena but there may be something else at work here than met the eye.

"Jezzie, what kind of game are you playing?" She whispered, fervently wishing no one would hear their heated exchange.

"I'm not playing. You better stop being jealous." She sneered. "You think I didn't notice how envious you were once you walked in here? You just have to accept it, Mima! I am Relena and you are nobody."

Mima scoffed and said, "Do you think I care about any of this?" She waved her arms around for emphasis. "I don't want it! I just want to find my home, my true home, and where I belong. You know that! That's all I've been preaching all these years to everybody."

Jezzie shrugged noncommittally and folded her arms in front of her, not a care in the world.

"Jezzie," Mima sighed out loud, "Why did you bring me here?"

Ah, so now they were getting down to business. She didn't think Mima would see past the fluffy sisterhood bullshit, but she continued to amaze her with her remarkable wit and level-headedness.

"I'm not a completely heartless person, you know." She began.

_Could've fooled me, _Mima thought bitterly.

"Pagan is dying." Jezzie paused a few seconds for the breaking news to set in. "Remember the butler who you briefly met today? He has some disease where he needs new blood every couple of years."

"What disease?" Mima asked concerned. She couldn't imagine the kind old man suffering from any ailment.

Curses. Jezzie knew she should've done some research before going on stage for her live performance with her arch nemesis.

"Well, I forgot what it's called but since I know how you love helping people, perhaps you could do a blood test to see if your blood is a match?"

There were so many loopholes in Jezzie's story that Mima had no idea where to begin. However, she didn't want to miss the opportunity to save a life as a result of her indifference to Jezzie.

"If he had contracted this disease that you claim, wouldn't they already have a record in the hospital?" Mima asked, skeptically.

"Well…"

"And wouldn't they be trying to find a match for him as we speak? I know there's a database where all the patients in need of donated blood can track whether any donors have donated the blood type that they need and…"

"Okay, okay, so I'm not sure how all of that medical mumbo jumbo works, alright?" Jezzie finally exclaimed. "All I know is that Pagan recently contracted the disease and he's a traditionalist type of person that refuses to get help from doctors."

Mima was still doubtful.

"Look, do you want to help him or not? I thought this was your type of thing. Unless, you're choosy with whom you help. Only help those that you find most convenient to help, is it?" Jezzie mocked.

"It's not like that."

"Well?"

Finally she sighed and gave in only to end the conversation. She always felt tired whenever she confronted Jezzie.

"Great! I'll set an appointment some time next week." With that, Jezzie marched back into the dining room.

_(A week later...)_

Mima couldn't stand sitting idle around the estate for long. It was a week after the dinner party with all of Jezzie's friends and Heero. Luckily things weren't so awkward after she returned to the dining room and they managed to finish their three-course meal without further incident. Duo remained quite animated throughout the dinner service, saving the group from total silence. She tried to avoid Heero's gaze as much as possible and it seemed as if he was doing the same. They didn't speak to each other again until all the guests were leaving and they bid a curt farewell to one another. It was just as well that they didn't exchange anything more than _see you later_.

She was wandering the grounds of the estate and found herself in a secluded garden. A gentle breeze fluttered from the western front and she pulled a few strands of her dyed black hair behind her ears. It felt so good to be outdoors and to feel warm rays from the sky showering streams of sunlight on her.

Mima spent most of her time talking to the employees and learning about what they did on a day-to-day basis. She hated how Jezzie treated them by remaining ignorant of their existence when she sees them or when she ordered them to do her bidding. There was Raoul the head chef from France, Aidan the steward in his late fifties and going strong, and half a dozen other maids and support staff that she had the pleasure of meeting.

She took her time gazing at the various flowers and exotic plants that were in full bloom. The garden was a stunning masterpiece and it was all thanks to Gregory, the groundskeeper, who kept his pride and joy in top form. Blood red roses dominated the heart of the garden where a life-sized replica of a beautiful woman carved from marble was carefully placed in the centre. The amazing contrast of red life and white stone must have had an important symbolic message but she couldn't decipher the meaning. There was something about the woman's face that seemed familiar to her. In fact, she had the strongest sense of déjà vu as she walked along the garden path.

"Oh, there you are." A voice spoke behind her. It was Pagan.

"Hello."

"Would you like to have some afternoon tea while you're enjoying the scenery?" He asked with eyes sparkling.

"Yes, that would be lovely." Mima replied, smiling. "I noticed a beautiful patio just off beside the garden and…."

"I know the place. The master used to have tea there all the time. I will only be a few minutes." He said and returned to the house.

Mima waited on nicely padded oak chairs that matched the round table ready to seat six people. She didn't have to wait long before Pagan returned with the necessary items for tea and enough sweets and snacks to feed an army.

"Wow, I don't think I can finish all that." Mima said as she thanked him.

"Please call for me if you need anything else, miss." He said and turned around to leave the way he came.

"I'd be happy if you could join me." She hinted. "That is, if you're not too busy."

He was slightly taken aback from the request but decided to sit and take a rest. "Thank you."

"Pagan, do you know who that statue is?" Mima asked once she poured two cups of tea. "Milk or sugar?"

"No, this is fine." Pagan said as he reached for a cup. "It has been a long while since I have taken a good look at her. She was the former Mrs. Peacecraft, the Queen. You see, she was the very symbol of peace and freedom of their time so her husband arranged for a famous Italian architect to make it not only for their family but as a reminder of what they stood for. The roses were another minor detail to signify the bloodshed from past wars that were fought and it served as a reminder to solve conflicts through any means but violence."

"That's a beautifully moving story." Mima commented as she turned to look at the statue in awe. "Did they live here as well?"

"Yes, more than twenty-five years ago. This was their private sanctuary where they brought their children."

Mima satisfied her sweet tooth by picking up a lemon tart and savored the citrus flavor. "I see. There must be a lot of history with this place."

"Indeed. This was where I was first given the responsibility to look after Relena." Pagan confirmed as he took a slow sip of the brewing tea. "I remember one time," he shared as he reminisced, "when she fell off her horse rather roughly and scraped herself on the paved road. As for the ones watching her, our hearts stopped beating."

She didn't want to hear about Jezzie's childhood but something about the story was vaguely familiar. Why did everything in the place seem that way to her? Maybe she was going out of her mind. Furthermore, she didn't want to be rude by stopping him and said, "Guess she was a handful, huh?"

"On the contrary, she was the ideal daughter for any parent. I believe she just turned seven when the accident happened, the time where children itched to try anything new and different."

She smiled politely and said, "I wish I knew what that was like."

"What do you mean, my dear?"

"Nevermind." The heat was beginning to overwhelm her a bit or it may have been the conversation. She casually took off her light jacket and placed it on the empty chair next to her. "Was she seriously hurt from the fall?"

For a moment Pagan wondered what she meant by her previous statement. _I wish I knew what that was like…_ Mima and her past were still very much a mystery to everyone but she seemed adamant about keeping her personal life private. "Very much so, actually. She screamed so loud that we all thought the devil was chasing after her. There was a rather large cut that ran along the back of her right arm." He used his own right arm to demonstrate by drawing a line from the elbow to a few centimeters below his shoulder blade. "Unfortunately the scar remained years after the incident but Relena always laughed it off and claimed it was simply a wild phase that she went through."

Mima thought for a moment to see if she could remember such a scar on Jezzie. No, she was certain Jezzie didn't have any old scar or cut on her. Jezzie was so careful with her skin that she did anything to prevent any form of defamation to her perfect body.

The links were made; Jezzie was not Relena Darlian. It was the greatest news she could ever hear, or think of but she wanted to make sure. "Are you sure the scar wouldn't heal itself, say, five or ten years later? It shouldn't have been that deep a wound."

He pondered her logic for a few moments and nodded slightly in agreement but said, "the strangest thing about it was that the cut never did heal properly and the scar was still there even up to her late teens, albeit somewhat faded."

Suddenly a third person joined the party rather loudly and spoke up hurriedly, "Mima, what are you doing here with Pagan?"

"We were just having a nice chat." She responded just as impatiently.

Jezzie did not like this. She did not know what was said between the two and if Mima asked about Pagan's said disease then all her careful planning was for naught. "And what were you chatting about?"

"Miss Relena, I was simply sharing one of your childhood experiences. Do you remember falling off a horse?" Pagan said kindly.

"Why would I remember such an atrocious incident? I hate wild animals and I especially hate being outdoors." Jezzie said offhandedly. It seemed that the two pawns sitting comfortably before her were still ignorant of what was at play. She gave herself a mental sigh and said, "Mima, it's time to go for the appointment that we talked about last week."

"Right now? You should have told me sooner, Jezzie." Mima said coldly. She was surprised by her animosity toward her sister now. Perhaps things had all changed when Pagan inadvertently revealed that Jezzie was not really who she claimed to be. Jezzie was playing a very dangerous game and she was certain that her dear sister was only out for herself.

"Regardless, you look ready to go with that red tank top you have on, so let's go." She remarked, looking irritated.

Mima stood up slowly and turned to Pagan. "Thank you so much for the tea and conversation today. I really enjoyed it."

"My pleasure, miss." He nodded eloquently. "It's been a while since I've sat down and basked in the wonderful weather we've been having."

Jezzie was already on her way out of the garden and heading to the parking lot. Mima looked embarrassed for Jezzie's behavior and apologized. "I'm sorry she's like that. She must be having a bad day."

"Quite alright. You take care." He said.

She wanted to tell him not to worry about his health problems as she would do whatever it was necessary to help him but she thought the topic too depression and left it at that. Mima gave him a knowing nod and smiled before turning to leave the patio for the blood test.

As he saw her walk away, a recent cloud cover parted in the sky and a stream of light hit the right side of Mima's body just so. Pagan noticed something… something life shattering. It was Relena's scar on Mima's arm, clear as day. He blinked quickly to see whether he was seeing things but the mark was still there. The scar was a slightly lighter color than her skin but there was no mistaking it.

"Relena…." He whispered as tears began spilling from his aging gray eyes that have seen too much in one lifetime. Pagan knew that he felt something different when he first saw Mima. It wasn't the same feeling as it was with the woman they had all assumed was she. The woman whom they assumed was Relena only looked the part but that was where the similarities ended.

The true Relena had something that was irreplaceable, her kindness, her passion to help humans, and her dedication to reach out to as many people as she possibly could for the betterment of mankind. Mima possessed the same undeniable qualities as his Relena. It was so easy to see that kind of _heart_ in her within only a week simply from her interactions with the people around her and, of course, from the conversations they shared. Why did he not see it sooner?

"Relena…." They have all made a terrible mistake.

TBC

A/N: I apologize for the format of this chapter. I wasn't able to put in line breaks for some reason and it bugged the hell out of me; fanfic is probably on the fritz again, I'm sure. Oh well!


	12. This is Not Happening

**Identity Lost**

A/N: I'd like to dedicate this chapter to **_lay hime_** who informed me that someone has been taking parts of my last fic entitled _Perfect Assassin_ and was using it as their own. That is a writer's worst nightmare… or any artist for that matter, be it music, art, or literature. I hope writers would not stoop so low and take pieces of my, or anyone else's work, without my, or their, permission. Please, just ask me! I'm more than likely to say yes. OK enough angst from my corner, ENJOY this chapter!

Also, thanks are given to **_Purdy_** for helping me with this chapter. I had so many problems for some reason but hopefully everything makes logical sense haha…. Purdy you're the best!

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Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

Twelve – This is not happening

_The pain of knowing you can't have what you want is the most piercing of all human emotions. _

The office looked bleak with all the curtains drawn despite the brightness of the hour. Zechs sat behind his solid oak table as master of his domain while Pagan stood rooted to the floor.

Pagan had spent half an hour telling Zechs what he discovered about Mima. Thankfully, Zechs was extremely patient with Pagan's storytelling about Mima's scar on her arm that strikingly resembled Relena's.

"What are you saying, that the woman Heero found is not Relena?" Zechs questioned, with arms folded comfortably across his chest.

He responded with a question of his own. "Haven't you found her behaviour slightly strange?"

Zechs remained silent.

"I'm sure you have! She sleeps in and talks down to the staff." Pagan began and couldn't stop the words from coming. "She's constantly in a vile temper and is impatient. Relena had never been that way and no matter what sort of life she'd been living, I doubt anything could change the kind temperament that she has."

Zechs almost laughed out loud at the absurdity of the situation but he couldn't deny Pagan's observations. "You need to remember it has been a while since we've seen Relena. Young girls grow up. Let's just wait and see what the blood test tells us."

Pagan simply couldn't let the matter drop. "May I ask, sir, what compelled you to believe what she said was true? What sort of proof did she have that made you all think she could be Relena?" He asked.

Zechs sighed softly and replied, "A necklace."

"A necklace?"

"Yes, the one Heero gave her. The one he claims is the only one of its kind and she had it on her person when Heero found her, a dove necklace." Zechs Merquise said. "You see, it was Heero who found her. She didn't come to us."

"Milliardo, please understand. I know Relena better than anyone and..."

"Yes, I know." He said tiredly and repeated. "Let's wait and see what the blood test tells us."

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It was Saturday and they snuggled contentedly next to each other on Duo's couch for their bi-weekly movie night. A massive bowl of highly buttered, artery clogging popcorn sat by a lamp on the left side mahogany table. The sitting room was furnished with a few couches facing a recent big-screen television that was purchased a month ago. Some scented candles were strewn around the room, offering the perfect romantic mood lighting for them.

Although the DVD was well under way and a random movie had been playing for more than half an hour, they were strangely silent. Normally they would be chatting and making fun of whatever goofs that the directors didn't catch when making the film such as factual errors or scenes that didn't quite flow smoothly from one to the next. However, it seemed that both parties had something heavy weighing on their minds.

Finally Duo couldn't stand the silence anymore and said, "What's wrong? You haven't said anything in the last 40 minutes and 27 seconds."

"You were counting the minutes?" Hilde asked, though it wasn't the strangest thing he had ever done. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just concerned about Mima."

He was surprised that Mima was brought up. Although the two women were fairly good friends, he didn't know how close they were.

"Why? Did something come up?"

Hilde reached for a handful of popcorn and readjusted herself next to him to get comfortable. "Well, I haven't talked to her after a rather emotional conversation that we had and she hasn't been going to work and…"

Duo suddenly perked up from what Hilde just disclosed. So Mima hadn't been going to work while she stayed with Relena. He still couldn't get over the fact that Mima and Relena knew each other. It was so coincidental that it was beyond comprehension, like something that could be seen in the movies. Duo wasn't sure whether he should reveal what he knew about where Mima was located but decided to be subtle. "That hardly seems unusual. Perhaps she took some _time off_."

"Mima and _time off_ don't mix." Hilde exclaimed confidently. "It must be something else."

He knew that Hilde wouldn't drop the issue. She was as stubborn as they came and he reluctantly said, "Well, maybe she's staying with, uh… a friend."

"How did you come with this information, Duo?"

He didn't answer.

"Duo! What do you mean she's staying with a friend? Who? She doesn't have that many close friends." Hilde sounded exasperated. She turned to have a good look at Duo and asked, "Are you hiding something from me? Do you know what's going on?"

"I'm not hiding anything." He attempted in a serious tone.

She raised an eyebrow in question. The movie was now completely forgotten.

"I know you better than you know yourself. You've been so quiet… not a word out of you about work. You haven't even brought up the topic about the Relena rumors and I know you, Duo Maxwell. You would have jumped all over that bit of news like a shark to fresh meat."

Duo suddenly felt guilty and he cursed the female population for possessing their powers of persuasion. He decided to let her in on Relena's return since the blood test would soon reveal everything to the public anyhow. He hoped that from the sudden shift in topic, she would forget to ask which friend she was staying with exactly.

"Relena _is_ back. Heero found her weeks ago and we've been trying to keeping it from hitting the newsstands until we have confirmation." He explained quietly.

She almost felt an out-of-body experience. "She… you mean… Relena's…she's really back?" It was beyond shock and there were no words to describe what she was feeling. "I can't believe it…" Duo noticed that she was shaken by the news and he didn't blame her. They were all emotionally tied to Relena and her disappearance in some shape or form. Hilde was clever enough to realize that even if Duo wanted to tell her, the information could not have been leaked and she respected him for his perseverance even at the expense of an unhappy girlfriend.

She thought it was funny how he used the word _confirmation_ as a euphemism for them wanting to cover their asses in case it wasn't _Relena_. But still… they had finally found her after all these years! The shock in her wide eyes immediately turned into unbridled joy.

"That's great news, Duo!" She said enthusiastically. "Can I see her? I can't imagine how much she's changed in ten years until I see for myself."

"She's suffering from amnesia. Relena doesn't remember anyone."

Hilde noticed that he looked pained when he just revealed the real shocking news for the evening. "Not even Heero?"

"Not even Heero." He confirmed. "Is that all that was upsetting you? I didn't mean to keep it from you but…"

"No need to explain. There is something else bothering me and from what you've told me about Relena that makes me even more concerned." Hilde said, frowning slightly.

"What is it?" Duo finally asked when she didn't elaborate.

"It's Mima."

"What about Mima? Hilde, you gotta stop making me guess after every sentence."

"I haven't heard from her in a while and," Hilde really didn't want to betray a confidence but she needed to find some way to help Mima come to terms with the situation and forget a certain Perfect Soldier. "I believe she's in love with Heero." That was all that needed to be said for Duo to piece together what Hilde was tactfully saying to him.

"I never realized Mima and Heero became so close." Duo admitted.

Regardless, he understood perfectly. If Mima were in love with Heero, that would cause complications with Relena's sudden reappearance into his life. There wasn't a question in his mind with whom Heero would ultimately stay with, Relena Darlian. If Mima did have strong feelings for his friend and refused to let him go then he would have to take appropriate action. What really concerned him was that Mima was staying with Relena right now and that didn't make any sense to him. Why on earth would Relena claim that Mima was her sister unless Mima tricked her into some devious plot?

"Do you think Mima will cause any trouble for Relena and Heero?"

"Mima is _not_ like that." Hilde said in her friend's defense but bit her lower lip, uncertain whether she should give voice to her opinion. It almost felt blasphemous to her for asking the next question but she needed to share her thoughts with him. "Why do you refuse the possibility that Heero may choose Mima?" Hilde protested albeit an uneasy guilty feeling that was growing in her stomach for betraying an old friend for a new one.

He scoffed and replied, "You must be joking."

"People can change in ten years, Duo. Things happen." She retorted.

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The results were in. Independent serologists were sent to verify the blood sample in order to ensure the validity and authenticity of the results. She was indeed Relena Darlian. All the concerned members were gathered in the sitting room as Zechs read from the blood test report, no doubt about it, B negative just like him and their father. From the looks of the DNA mapping, every sequence of the DNA strands matched his albeit some slight variances that was normal when comparing the blood of first relatives. They even cross-referenced the sample with that of Relena's blood that was taken all those years ago before she went missing. It was a match.

"Relena…" Zechs whispered with such emotion that the former Gundam pilots have never witnessed. "Welcome home." He said next to Jezzie's ear as he tightly embraced her.

Jezzie couldn't believe she managed to pull it off. They all thought she was Relena! At first there weren't any problems talking Mima into taking the blasted blood test from a discreet medicentre. She already made arrangements with a nurse on duty that she would switch the viles once Mima's blood was taken. Jezzie didn't care whose blood replaced Mima's since it would never be used for anything. In fact, the medicentre may eventually throw the specimen out since they wouldn't remember what was to be done with it. Then she would come alone at a later date to collect Mima's blood sample. Although Mima assumed that they would undergo tests with her blood, the inside nurse would only keep the blood in the fridge until Jezzie came to pick it up. The switch never came cheap, of course but she thought it was well worth the investment. Apparently, one could achieve anything for the right price in their apathetic world.

The next step, however, wasn't so simple. When doctors from Preventers, led by Sally Po, came to take her blood, the trick was replacing her own blood with that of Mima's before any formal tests were to be done. Fortunately, the unethical nurse Jezzie encountered knew all about blood tests. She was coached to make the switch once her blood was immediately taken. That way, when the serologists eventually began performing the tests on the blood sample, it would already be Relena's actual blood going through the elaborate process.

So the switch was successfully made the minute they extracted her blood and placed it in a test tube. Feigning innocence and curiosity, Jezzie asked Sally Po if she could take a look at it. Dr. Po naturally obliged since she didn't see the harm in that. The second their backs were turned she made the switch with ease. And the rest, as they say, was history. Jezzie still had chills when she thought of her cunning tactics.

"At least I'm glad I know where I belong. If only I could remember…" Jezzie stated sweetly.

"Just take it a day at a time, Lena." Duo suggested smiling. "I'm sure Heero wouldn't mind helping you in that department." The former Gundam pilots, Zechs, and Jezzie all turned to the man in question.

He had been sitting unusually still even for him. The only thing that mattered to him was that she was finally found after all these years. Relena… Relena… Relena… Mima. Despite the exultant relief he felt for Relena's return, he still thought of _her_. He remembered their awkward first meeting and then the growth of their friendship over the last few weeks. Somehow, he couldn't stop thinking about Mima. But what he felt for her didn't matter. Relena was what mattered.

"Heero?" Quatre's voice interrupted his thoughts. "You alright?"

"Uh… hmph. I need some air. Relena, care to join me?" He didn't give her a chance to reply and pulled her to her feet and led them out of the room as Pagan just walked in with a tray of refreshments.

"Where are they headed?" Pagan asked when Heero and Jezzie were out of sight.

"They're getting reacquainted now that we know for a fact that she is Relena." Duo replied as he poured himself some tea.

"What? No!" Pagan stated, shocked. He thought he must have be trapped in a dream. He recalled telling Zechs the truth but it was still not enough.

"I know! It's pretty hard to believe…" Quatre exclaimed.

"No, what I meant was you're wrong. She's not Relena!" Pagan attempted to explain calmly although he couldn't compose his thoughts properly. Nothing made any sense to him.

"Nonsense, old man. The blood test cannot be wrong." Wufei interjected. "I had my doubts initially but she's the one."

"You don't understand." He pleaded earnestly. "None of you understand. Milliardo, please. Remember what I told you…"

"Pagan, the blood test confirms that she is Relena. They're 100 percent accurate." Zechs explained slowly as if he were speaking to a four-year old.

"But…"

"Enough! What's important is that we have Relena back. Nothing else matters." He commented authoritatively, which no one dared to object.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mima was lying on the freshly mowed lawn in the garden, eyes closed. Her thoughts kept revolving around a certain individual. It seemed forever since she last saw Heero. She mentally kicked herself for thinking about him yet again. Whenever Heero turned up in her thoughts, Relena wasn't far behind. At least she could be glad that Jezzie was not Relena but it didn't stop Heero from spending time with her. How could she prove to him that Jezzie was _not_ Relena?

Then she heard faint sounds of footsteps coming closer. She sat up halfway with her elbows supporting her weight. It was a man and a woman. Apparently they stopped moving but she could still hear their voices in a low and hushed tone. Mima was about to get up to make her presence known but froze immediately when she noticed who were there. A thick row of bushes sat between her and the other party but she was able to see through a few empty patches of air where the leaves didn't grow. They didn't see her but she could see them perfectly, Heero and Jezzie. Mima got up from her laid back position and continued watching them, as she stayed low to the ground.

Mima's heart started to beat faster. She felt awful for spying but she couldn't force her legs to get up from her crouched position and walk away.

Heero and Jezzie were standing far too close. They were looking into each other's eyes and she heard Heero say, "So the blood tests came back."

Jezzie whispered, "yes."

Mima's eyes slowly grew larger in utter bewilderment. She didn't have the slightest idea what was going on. What blood test? Her blood test? But why would that concern Heero and Jezzie?

"Relena…it's true... we finally found you." Heero answered almost as if he heard Mima's question.

"Yes." Jezzie smiled and pulled his arms to wrap around her waist. "The results cannot be denied. I am Relena."

Mima could only cover her mouth with both hands and shake her head silently. It didn't feel as if she had control over her body. Her mind was having trouble processing the scene before her. Jezzie was Relena? Was this some sort of cruel joke? But she had a blood test and it proved that she was Relena. That's what it all meant.

_No_. She mouthed as a single tear was shed. Perhaps she had been wrong about Jezzie with regards to Pagan's story. It was possible that Jezzie had a faint scar that she didn't know about. At this point it didn't matter anymore. The answer had been finalized with a blood test and she just discovered she had come to the end of the line. There was no way to reach Heero now.

"Relena…" Heero murmured as he tilted Jezzie's chin to face him.

_No._ Mima whispered. _This isn't right. This is not happening._

Then his lips were soon on Jezzie's and Mima saw them embraced in a passionate kiss between two individuals who were destined to be together. The pain… the pain in Mima's heart was unbearable. More tears fell as she closed her eyelids, refusing to see anymore. She slowly crawled her way to a nearby tree and stood up safely in hiding behind the tree trunk.

"Heero…" Mima mouthed as she started walking back to the estate without taking another glance at the two individuals still locked in each other's arms.

She knew she had lost him.

TBC

A/N: One more note. I am moving very soon to Taiwan so I'm not sure how soon I will have access to a computer to update once I'm there. Please be patient with me! I _will_ finish this fic!


	13. Betrayed

Identity Lost

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

A/N: Wow it's been an incredibly long time since my last update. I apologize for not writing as fast as I'd like to. Unfortunately, the problem now is one that is out of my control. Since I'm in Asia, there's an issue with getting internet so I've been disconnected with the world for months!! Trust me, it's killing me slowly every single day. That means, I have no idea when I'll be able to upload the next chapter but the good thing is that it's already written!!

Please be patient with me and I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can get my internet problem resolved.

Thirteen – Betrayed

_Betrayal is by far the worst human flaw in existence. _

"Excuse me, Pagan?" A maid said softly, trying to get his attention.

He was sitting idly against the kitchen island counter contemplating the recent scene in the sitting room. Despite the evidence of the blood test against his claims he knew he wasn't wrong but how could he prove it? No doubt about it, Mima was Relena and he was as sure of it as his own identity. Something was definitely amiss and he was becoming more suspicious with the circumstances surrounding Relena.

In the mean time, the head chef paraded around Pagan and floated from one cooking appliance to another like a dance and instructed his _sous_ chefs to begin the preparations for dinner. Pagan was so consumed in his thoughts that he was oblivious to the ordered chaos around him.

"Pagan, please, I must speak with you." The maid persisted as she reached for his shoulder.

A gentle nudge brought him back to the present and focused his eyes on the woman in a clean white and pearl-colored uniform and worried eyes. "Yes, Isabel, what is it?" He tried to speak over the cacophony of kitchen noises behind them.

"May I have a private word with you, sir?"

Pagan nodded and slowly found his footing again when he got off the stool. He walked ahead of Isabel and stopped once they were in his private office. Unhurried, he took a seat on the couch and motioned for the maid to do the same.

"Now, what is the matter, my dear?"

She reached into her pocket and produced a beautiful necklace for Pagan's inspection. "I was cleaning up Miss Relena's room and when I was making the bed, I noticed this piece of jewelry in the trash can."

At first, he didn't take a good look at it until he heard Relena's name. The first mention of a necklace should have had him paying attention but he was still frustrated with the way things had gone with Milliardo. But now, _now_, he was listening.

"What of the necklace? Let me have a closer look at it." Pagan said and she handed the item in question over to him. It was silver-encrusted and a dove pendant was rooted in the center. He didn't know much about jewelry but from one glance at the jewelry he held, it gave off an aura of true passion and untold emotions from which it was created. Pagan didn't know how to explain it but he just knew; he knew that this was the necklace Milliardo had mentioned, the necklace that the imposter had on her person that made them all believe she was Relena.

"Do you know how Relena came about this necklace?" He asked carefully.

She thought for a few moments, although it felt like an eternity to him and then she replied, "You know, I never recalled ever seeing Relena wearing that piece since she began to stay here. She had collected several dozen necklaces, bracelets, and the like. And, well, it's difficult for anyone to keep track."

"How come it was in the trash bin, then?" Pagan asked since it seemed unlikely that the imposter would throw anything of value away.

"I'm not sure. I assumed it accidentally fell in and it just so happened that I saw something glittery in the trash among some crumpled papers when I bent down to fix the bedspread."

It was found in the trash... He said nothing further as he tried to understand how this fit into the whole picture. Either the necklace was replicated or stolen. If it were stolen, then the imposter would no longer have the need to keep it and would get rid of the evidence. That was certainly a possibility but he didn't know if it was the right one. As he tapped his fingers lightly on the glass surface of the imported coffee table, he thought of a way to clear up the mystery behind the necklace.

"Sir?"

He turned to the maid and smiled softly, "Why don't you let me return it to its rightful owner?"

He left his office and immediately went looking for Mima. The evidence behind the blood test was moot to his cause and perhaps there was another way to figure out Relena's true identity. The Relena that he knew would not leave such a valuable keepsake unattended or discarded without care, be it accidental or intentional. How Relena perceives value is not by the price tag of the item but, rather, the value she holds within her heart.

It took him some agonizing minutes to walk around the premises before he found her tucked away in her guest bedroom. Pagan knocked gently on the door.

* * *

She didn't know how to feel anymore. When she saw Heero and Jezzie together it seemed like the last nail to the coffin; she lost. True, she never had any claims on Heero but she assumed, through unspoken words, that there was something between them, something tangible. Mima mentally slapped herself awake and remembered the movie where someone mentioned that _assumption was the mother of all fuck ups._ She was sick to death of the roller coaster emotions regarding Jezzie or Relena's so-called identity. Lying face first on the bed, she didn't realize how tired she was, both physically and mentally. Her left hand, out of habit, reached for her necklace that was not there and she sighed deeply before she covered her head with a pillow. 

Just as she was about to drift off to a light nap, a soft tap came on her door.

"Come in." Mima said as she quickly made herself presentable before sitting upright on her bed. She used her shirtsleeve to wipe away the dried tears on her face and stood up to welcome the visitor.

"I hope I'm not interrupting." Pagan said.

"Not at all, Pagan. Please have a seat." Mima pointed to the couch lying across the bed as she sat on the mattress. She noticed he was more agitated and uneasy than usual.

"Mima, the reason why I came is... have... have you been crying?" He changed his train of thought when he saw her pale appearance and red eyes.

"I'm alright. What was it that you wanted to see me?" She asked, strategically maneuvering the conversation away from herself.

"I would like to hear about your past. I'm curious as to what kind of upbringing you had." He explained although he himself knew how pathetically lame his excuse was. Pagan was thankful that he prepared the speech beforehand, sort of. Otherwise, he would be stumbling like a poor old fool that he was.

Mima could feel her defenses building up. Why would anyone be curious about her? She didn't want to explain her past with anyone since it was clearly non-existent in her memory. Fortunately, she had been able to maintain her façade for so long that she didn't see any reason to start telling the truth now.

"Please Rele... Mima." He mentally slapped himself for the slip he almost made. "I want to help you."

She hesitated.

"Indulge an old man. Tell me your story." He pleaded.

With Pagan's pleading eyes and his personable appearance, she found it difficult to deny him. In some strange way, didn't she want to share her pain? Perhaps this was the right time and besides, she was too tired to argue. She slowly began to tell her story from the first memory she had. With every passing sentence, she poured her heart out and admitted how she longed to find her real family.

"It's already been ten years and I still don't know who I am." She said.

Tears began to well in his irises. It sounded identical to the imposter's story. She must have used Mima's past as her cover. If that was so, then the only possible explanation was that she knew Mima was Relena! Too many thoughts rolled around and he didn't know how process all of it. At that moment, however, he didn't think about any of it. Pagan walked over to his Relena and wrapped his arms around her tiny frame. He had no doubts now that Mima is indeed the person they were all searching for.

"I will help you." He whispered against her ear, unwilling to let her go.

"Pagan, I... " Overwhelmed by his determination for her sake, how does anyone react to such kindness? Mima wasn't even sure why he wanted to help her but she was grateful just the same. She couldn't explain the close connection she felt with him.

He gradually let her go and sat back before it became too awkward for either of them. "Now then, is there something that could trace back to your past?"

"Nothing." She replied in a hushed tone.

He wasn't willing to back down and decided to coax something, anything, out of her. "There must be something you recall; a piece of jewelry perhaps or even a photo..."

She gazed around the room in thought and couldn't think of anything that could possibly trace back to her past until… "A necklace. I've had this necklace since I could remember but..."

"But what, my dear?"

"I lost it." She refused to divulge into any of the sordid details. Mima rubbed gently at her eyes with shaky fingers and tried to erase that dark period of her life.

Pagan knew he was close. It was only a matter of one final test. "Mima, this is important. What does the necklace look?"

He wasn't surprised that her description matched perfectly with the jewelry that sat in his right breast pocket.

"I've always felt safer with the necklace," she explained as she touched the part of her chest where it would usually lie.

"Is this the one?" He said, finally pulling the item out.

When she saw the object that Pagan held in his hands, she froze. Mima knew she must be dreaming and was too afraid to move for fear that the necklace would disappear.

"Mima?"

"Where did you find that?" She whispered.

Pagan could barely hear her but he managed to pick up enough sounds to figure out what she said. He couldn't come out with the truth just yet and simply smiled and said that it didn't matter. Very carefully, he reached for her hands and dropped the necklace into her open palms since she seemed afraid to touch it. "As long as it's returned to where it belongs, then I know that I did my part." Pagan said with a warm smile.

Mima thought she was through with crying and yet she found herself smothered in tears. Words were lost to her.

"Why don't I help you put it on?" He said, almost as emotional as Mima. Pagan reached for the necklace and wrapped the silver threads around her neck and clasped both ends in place.

"Thank you." She finally said, not forgetting the simplest manners that were branded into her since childhood from Pagan.

_Pagan?_ _I knew Pagan from before._

Just then, her head started to pound and she could feel the initial signs of a terrible migraine coming. She held her head with both hands as if she could stop the pain from the outside.

"Mima, what's wrong?!" He immediately crouched in front of her to see what caused her sudden discomfort.

"My head hurts ... whenever... I ... try to... remember" Mima struggled to get the words out.

"I'll be right back and see if I can find some aspirin for you." Pagan suggested and headed for the door. "Will you be alright alone?"

Instead of mouthing her reply, she merely nodded once and continued to nurse the mother of all headaches.

In less than five minutes, another knock came on the door. She tucked the necklace beneath her shirt without realizing it. It must have been another habit that she had gotten used to. Mima went to open the door for Pagan who she assumed had returned with the drugs to ease her suffering. To her surprise, it wasn't Pagan but Jezzie standing right outside her door.

"Hi." Jezzie spoke with an air of authority. "Can I speak to you for a minute? Thanks." She walked in and closed the door as if she owned the place.

"What do you want, Jezzie? I'm not in the mood to talk right now." Mima declared, looking solemn. She was thankful that the headache was slowly dissipating.

"Jezzie? Do my ears deceive me? I believe I go by a different name now."

Mima said nothing.

"Anyway, I have a lot of things to do so I just wanted to let you know that I will no longer be needing your services here. If you could let the others know at dinner tonight that you'll be going home, it would be greatly appreciated." Jezzie announced blandly and sarcastically.

"Services? I'm not your maid, Jezzie. Look, I'm too tired to argue with you so I'll be more than happy to leave this place. There is nothing tying me here and besides, I found what I lost." Mima had had enough of Jezzie's strange mood swings.

"What do you mean you found what you lost?" She asked, suddenly growing suspicious. Could Mima have figured everything out? Did she regain her memory?

"Just go. I'll make my announcement to everyone tonight and I'll be gone by tomorrow morning." If not earlier, she thought.

* * *

The guests were unusually talkative that night at the dining room save one. Mima would have left that very night but she still had questions for Pagan. Why was he so passionate to help her and how on earth did he find her necklace? She hoped to have a few minutes with him once dinner was over. It was easier said than done, however. Dinner dragged for what seemed like hours and Jezzie was soaking up all the attention. Only the first set of appetizers were served and Mima already found that her appetite was lost, yet again. She noticed that Heero had been avoiding her ever since their brief reunion at the mansion. It was just as well, she thought. After the intimate moment that she witnessed between Heero and Jezzie, she couldn't throw that image out of her mind.

* * *

He was torn. Relena had returned to him but his thoughts kept returning to Mima. As Relena continued to pipe on about the recent sale she made at the local department store, Heero took slight glances over at Mima whenever he had the opportunity. She looked tired, he observed. There were so many things he wanted to say to her but it all seemed inappropriate somehow and it wouldn't be fair to Relena. He still couldn't believe that the two women ended up knowing each other and living in the same house. Fate must have a funny way of dealing the cards of their existence out to the players.

Heero remembered her kindness and the passion she held for all that she believed in. She made him a better person; he couldn't deny that. His feelings for Mima surprised and scared him. There was absolutely nothing he could do about those feelings now.

Relena's voice knocked him out of his reverie, "Mima, could you help them in the kitchen? It seems like they're taking forever with the soup."

All heads turned in her direction. Mima looked up and froze. "Uh... sure." She replied softly and pulled her chair back.

"Relena, she's a guest in this house." Heero spoke for the first time at the table, irritated. How could Relena suggest such a thing, he had no idea.

"No, it's fine." Mima smiled weakly. "I don't mind."

"See?" Jezzie announced. "She doesn't mind."

The room temperature dropped and everyone suddenly turned tense. Light conversation didn't resume until Mima left the room and closed the door behind her. She couldn't fathom why Jezzie needed to continue to embarrass her but she would only need to endure it for a few more hours.

Once in the kitchen, the chef said, "ah, there you are. Can you please start putting in the seasoning for the soup?"

Mima was given an apron and sent to work. When she was given the _okay _signal that the soup was ready to be served, she volunteered to bring the tray out as the other cooks looked occupied with the main course dishes.

"It's about time." Jezzie complained as Mima served the soup bowls starting from the head of the table where Zechs sat.

They waited until Mima was seated before lifting their spoons. Jezzie was the only one who began eating the second Mima put down her portion. "What are you all waiting for?" Jezzie scolded. "Eat! There's no need to wait for her. Isn't that right, Mima?"

Once again feeling put on the spot, Mima smiled her most patient smile and replied, "Yes, of course. Please don't wait for me or the soup will get cold."

Heero noticed that Zechs didn't look pleased. Relena's odd behavior was shocking everyone and no one dared to say anything about it. The soup was silently consumed around the table. Even Duo remained mute. A bout of heavy coughing from Jezzie's direction finally broke the uneasy silence.

"Relena?" Heero said, looking concerned. "What's wrong?"

Suddenly her face turned pale; it was obvious that she was having trouble breathing. "I can't... breathe." Jezzie exclaimed between heavy spasms and coughs. Everyone stood up then, looking concerned.

"Relena!" Duo and Quatre exclaimed as Heero helped her to her feet. She was leaning heavily against Heero, unable to stand on her own.

"Call the ambulance!" Zechs ordered.

"Jezzie? Are you alright?" Mima ran to her side to see if she could offer any assistance. Before Mima was close enough to reach her, Jezzie violently turned away from her and accused, "What did you put in the soup? Were you trying to... poison...me?"

Just then, Mima felt like the insect under the microscope for the third time that evening. Jezzie continued with her fabrication, "It must have been you. You… you were always jealous of me… and … now … that I'm Relena, you … can't… stand… it."

Heero held firmly onto Jezzie and said soothingly, "Save your energy."

"I…I didn't do anything." She said calmly. "Please, let me have a look, Jezzie. I might know what's wrong." Mima explained. She was beginning to panic herself.

"Stay away from her." Heero stood between her and Jezzie and glared with the iciest eyes she had ever seen.

"Heero…" Mima whispered. "You have to believe me."

The ambulance arrived shortly and they wheeled the semi-conscious patient out of the dining room. Dinner was long forgotten and sitting untouched.

"I'll go to the hospital with her." Zechs proclaimed. "As for her," he said, eyeing Mima with unfeeling irises, "Take her to the sitting room and find out what the hell is going on here."

* * *

"What did you put in the soup, Mima?" Heero asked, feeling his patience losing over to anger. 

The remaining members of the dinner party migrated over to the sitting room but everyone was too wired to sit. Quatre looked concerned as usual and was silently saying something to Trowa in the far corner. Wufei stood erect by the main door, eyeing Heero and Mima cautiously. He sensed that something was about to blow. Duo was agitated and walked aimlessly around the furniture.

She looked directly into Heero eyes, never averting her gaze. As long as she remained calm, she knew this misunderstanding would all get sorted out. She had nothing to hide, after all.

"Mima! I'm talking to you." He yelled.

_Heero._ She thought, suddenly too tired to give voice to her words. Apparently the nightmare wouldn't end for her. How could he accuse her of something so heinous? She felt betrayed. A single tear escaped from her eyelids without her even realizing it.

He felt betrayed. Heero thought he knew her but there was a serpent lying dormant beneath her kind and gentle façade.

"Tears!" Duo announced the obvious. "Tears of guilt, I suspect. She lies, Heero. Why did you do it, Mima? Did you really resent Relena that much?"

She turned to look at Hilde's boyfriend. Everyone was surprising her that night. Mima didn't realize how important Relena was to these people. The pain she felt was unbearable.

"Or was it because she had the one thing that you could never have?" Duo taunted as he walked right into her field of vision.

"What do you mean, Duo?" Trowa asked.

"Heero." Duo said simply. "You love him, don't you?" He stared at her, daring her to deny it.

Hilde must have told him, she thought. None of that mattered now. Perhaps it was better that everything was revealed on such a strange night. She could feel all their eyes on her especially Heero's but she didn't dare look at him.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. Mima was sorry for many things and she couldn't be more sorry for falling in love with the wrong man.

That was all the proof that he needed. Heero pushed Duo aside and easily wrapped his right hand around her neck, blocking her airflow.

She was taken aback from Heero's sudden movements and struggled for what seemed like an eternity to release the trap that restricted her from breathing. With her every struggle, his fingers only tightened its hold on her small neck.

"Jesus Christ, Heero! Let her go." Duo hollered as he attempted to pull him off of her. To no avail, the braided ex-Gundam pilot was easily knocked aside.

"Heero! You're killing her." Quatre cried and looked at the other men in the room to do something, anything!

"Yuy! Stop!" Trowa and Wufei shouted in unison as they tried their hand in prying him away from Mima. They failed. Heero was on a mission and his eyes proved that he was not willing to let go until he had stolen every single breath from her body.

TBC


	14. Final Farewell

Identity Lost

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

Fourteen – Final Farewell

_Life is fleeting and motionless all at the same moment. You just need to choose what to do with that moment…_

She couldn't breathe. Mima used every ounce of her strength to free the hand that was binding her air supply.

_Heero…_

There were other voices in the background but they were being drowned out by Heero's deadly eyes penetrating her own. He seemed very far away, unreachable. From what she could tell, they were the only two people in the room, in an endless struggle with each other and themselves.

She felt too exhausted to fight and dropped her arms lifelessly to her side after agonizing seconds without oxygen circulating into her brain. Mima cleared her mind then considered that it wouldn't be so bad to lose her life in the hands of the only person who ever mattered to her. The room grew dark and frighteningly silent.

With great agility, Trowa punched Heero across the cheek that knocked him straight into Wufei and Heero's arms were tightly secured behind his back by two iron arms belonging to the Chinese pilot. The blow was strong enough that Heero knew he was going to be feeling the effects weeks later.

"Get a hold of yourself, Yuy!" Wufei said in a hushed voice while Heero continued to struggle free. It was almost as if he were in a trance, unsure of what was going on around him. Why couldn't he remember what just happened? Heero was afraid to admit that it felt as if he were back in Zero, unconscious, unable to process any of his own thoughts, overwhelmed by an external force controlling his will.

Once Heero's hand was detached from Mima's throat, her body fell limply to the plush carpeting. She looked like an empty shell, lifeless, dead.

Duo rushed to crouch beside her unmoving form and exclaimed, "She's not breathing!" He immediately began performing CPR.

"Dammit, breathe!" Duo shouted between mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Heero looked on with an empty stare.

They were all looking on to see if Duo could revive her.

_----_

_Heero…_

Mima's face still looked pale, without a sign of life.

_Heero…_

_Heero…_ He kept hearing the voice in his head.

_Heero… Help me…_

It was Relena's voice. She was pleading, begging him to save her.

_----_

"Relena!" Heero heard himself yell out, as he finally understood what was happening. He pushed and pulled away from Wufei's grip but the Chinese pilot was unrelenting. Duo still wasn't making any progress…

"Stop moving, Yuy! You've already done enough damage." Wufei hollered. Heero managed to twist Wufei's left arm unnaturally, which forced the man to release his grip on Heero or risk a broken arm. Once he was free, he pushed Duo aside and began to revive Mima himself.

As the other men came toward Heero to keep him away from her, he said calmly, "I won't hurt her. Let me try to save her." Despite his calm persona on the outside, he was shaking so hard internally.

Heero tried to feel for a pulse on her neck and there was only a faint flicker of her heart beating. He attempted CPR again but there was still nothing.

"Mima, please..."

There was still no reaction. As a last resort he started to slap her face to see if he could bring some life back into her colorless cheeks.

"Hey, I thought you said you wouldn't harm her!" Quatre shouted, looking concerned.

The blonde pilot was ignored but the Perfect Soldier stopped the physical assault and continued to use other means of reviving the fallen woman. He continued breathing air into her deprived lungs. After heart-wrenching seconds of uncertainty and hidden panic, she began to cough uncontrollably as the much-needed oxygen rushed into her body. Mima was having trouble stabilizing her breathing through all the gasping.

A massive sigh of relief was finally heard from the men.

Heero sat back, breathing hard himself, and watched as Mima slowly came back to life. He looked down at his hands and couldn't believe that they almost killed her. She took another several minutes before she opened her eyes and looked around the room. The shock of returning from the dead was overwhelming and she couldn't help her outpour of emotion and grief.

The first image that came into focus was Heero sitting beside her. Tears began to well in her eyes the second she made contact with Heero's piercing gray irises. "Why couldn't you just let me die?" Mima sobbed.

As she remained lying on the floor crying, Heero stood up and very calmly left the room without a word.

Quatre crouched next to Mima to help her into a sitting position. "Easy does it." He said soothingly. "Take all the time you need." Anyone would be badly shaken after any life-death experience and he couldn't even begin to understand what was going through her mind at that moment.

Duo, Trowa, and Wufei decided to leave the room since Quatre volunteered to monitor Mima. It was just as well, Quatre thought. He didn't think Mima would feel safer with so many men around her. Sometimes even he felt intimidated to be in their presence.

They simply sat there in silence, each occupied with their own thoughts. Once she calmed herself down and ceased the tears, Mima said, "Thank you, Quatre. I'm feeling better now. I should get going as I'm sure you have other places you need to be."

"Nonsense. We can stay here all week if we like." He argued, jokingly.

"I have to go." Mima said as she stood up on shaky legs. Quatre helped steady her as they both stood. "I really hope Jezzie will be alright." She said sadly. "I didn't do anything to hurt her. Whether you believe me or not, it doesn't matter. I know that I would never do that to Heero. I know how much she means to him."

"You love him." Quatre hypothesized.

She turned and left the room leaving his statement unanswered and unacknowledged.

* * *

He was beginning to lose it. What possessed him to say Relena's name just then? Heero wandered around the ornate furniture in the estate library. The silence comforted him and he welcomed the isolation. The fire was burning aggressively below the mantle of the fireplace and it felt somewhat comforting to feel the heat of the flames.

He needed a drink.

There were several canisters of alcohol on the bar counter and he didn't realize that he was standing beside it, pouring himself a glass of the richly imported Cognac from France. He was reverting to his old pattern…

Before his lips touched the glass, he heard _her_ haunting voice, _"Promise me, Heero…"_

The pain of failing in her eyes was far too unbearable. He threw the glass violently against the wall, shattering the tumbler thunderously while the cognac flew in an explosion of liquid orange. The fumes of the cognac soon engulfed the room. "Shit!" He cursed with abhorrence.

He almost took her life tonight. And Relena… She was lying in the hospital by Mima's hands. How could he avoid not having a drink? But by god, he was sure going to try.

* * *

"Sesame seeds. That was the ingredient that made Relena react to it the way she did." Zechs explained once he returned to the mansion. "She'll be perfectly fine in a day or so. It was just a severe allergic reaction."

"Relena was never allergic to anything but alcohol." Heero reported, monotonously.

Zechs continued, "I've already spoken to the chef and he instructed Mima to put in all the ingredients that Relena had suggested to him prior to dinner."

"Relena suggested?" Wufei asked, intrigued. "That doesn't make any sense. Why would she instruct sesame seeds to be put in the soup if she knew she was allergic?"

Zechs sat tiredly on the ottoman and said, "The chef insisted he didn't put any sesame seeds into any of the dishes that night. Mima must have added her own ingredient into the mix without anyone noticing."

"So, what did you manage to get out of her when you questioned the suspect?" Zechs Merquise inquired as he poured himself a stiff bourbon.

The former Gundam Pilots made a mutual unspoken agreement that what happened in the sitting room between Heero and Mima would remain locked behind those walls. No one spoke.

"Nothing?" Zechs grew impatient with their silence and informed Pagan to invite Mima to join them in the reading room to find out for himself.

"Sir, she's not there. All her belongings are gone." Pagan announced with the utmost patience the second he returned to them. He was burning inside but he could not show them his panic. "What happened?" The old butler asked, almost losing his usual calm. The only thing running through his mind was that Relena was gone.

At that moment, they all thought the same thing; her absence had just proven her involvement. Why else would she run unless she was guilty? They used that time to bring Pagan up to speed with the current situation.

"But… that can't be." Pagan said, with a stricken look on his face.

"Relena is lying in the hospital. I assure you, it's all very true. Mima is very dangerous and I want to have Relena on a 24 hour watch." Zechs commanded. Pagan simply stood by the door, stunned into silence.

"Should we pursue the suspect?" Wufei wondered, pleased that there might be something to end their drought of boredom.

"Negative." He replied. "We will act accordingly once we determine her motive."

"I suggest," Heero advised. "That we hold off on the public announcement regarding Relena's return until her safety is ensured."

* * *

By the time Mima got home, she felt as if she were gone for years. Everything was exactly where she last left it. Nothing changed but why did it seem like the world had turned a full 180 on her? She dropped everything by the doorway and crashed on the living room couch.

_What a mess. _She thought. It would have taken an idiot to realize that her fleeing the scene would not bode well for her innocence but she couldn't stay in that house. As she clutched her necklace, she understood that she might never forget Heero and she finally decided that she could live with that. She still needed a lot of growing up to do and as long as she committed the same perseverance and dedication as she did with everything else, then it should turn out all right.

The message light on the phone, she noticed, was blinking. It took her another ten minutes to force herself to get up and listen to the recording. The first message was from Connor Striker. He asked if she was doing alright since he hadn't seen her in a week. She chuckled to herself and admired his determination at winning her over. Mima only hoped that the infatuation he had with her would not turn into obsession. That would be very dangerous territory and she didn't want to think about the repercussions behind it.

The next message, however, didn't leave her smiling but left a cold chill down her spine. It was a modified voice, almost as if someone used an electronic device to cover his or her voice from recognition.

The eerie voice only said hauntingly, "We… still have unfinished business."

Mima quickly deleted the message and convinced herself that it must have been a prank phone call. Teenagers these days obviously had too much spare time on their hands. She decided to call the restaurant to inform them that she'll be able to resume working as early as that night. Having all her hours occupied with something to do would be a lot better than the alternative, contemplating how truly alone she was.

* * *

Weeks had passed and still no word from Jezzie. She could only assume that Jezzie had indeed been recognized as Relena and would remain in Zechs' estate. It was just as well since the two sisters were barely able to stand each other. Jezzie hired movers to pack the remainder of her belongings from their apartment and Mima had never seen her _new_ establishment cleaner. Her only concern now was with the monthly rent. She decided to put a posting for a roommate to share the cost and to fill the empty space.

Although there hadn't been a public announcement regarding Relena, she didn't doubt that it would happen soon. Finding Relena would be the biggest news of the decade after all.

Her life had eventually returned to normal, or as normal as it could get under the circumstances. Thankfully, there wasn't a repeat of the cryptic phone messages.

Mima's life revolved around work and home. Her social life went into permanent hibernation. She seldom had contact even with Hilde and although it hurt her to sever her ties with everyone, she thought it was the only way to protect herself.

"Mima! There's someone here to see you." Announced the hostess by the main entrance.

She thought it was odd that someone came for her but was curious just the same. What if it was Heero? Mima smacked her forehead with her hand and cursed herself for thinking such thoughts. "I'll be on my break in 10 minutes. Can you please let the person know, I can see him or her then?"

"Sure thing, Mima. He said that he'll be here."

So it was a man… _Stop it, Mima! Jesus Christ!! Do you want to do this to yourself again?_

* * *

The ten minutes crawled to a snail's pace but finally she was taking her apron off and walking over to the booth where the visitor was waiting.

His back was to her and he seemed much taller than Heero and his posture was different but somehow familiar to her.

It was Pagan.

"Pagan! What are you doing here?" She couldn't hide her surprise and delight that he came to see her. "But, how did you know I worked here?"

"Mima, finally I found you!" Pagan said enthusiastically as he wrapped her in a brief hug. Once they both overcame the shock of seeing one another again, they sat across from each other and Mima ordered a cup of tea for the butler.

"I found your ad in the paper about finding a roommate and I kindly asked the landowner to give me the address of where you worked. I hope you aren't angry with me." Pagan explained.

"No, that's perfectly fine. I'm so happy to see you again." Mima said truthfully. It was fine since it was Pagan but what if it was a dangerous individual asking for her personal information? She would have to have a little talk with the landowner about this.

"As am I, my dear. I have been so worried about you and I have thought of nothing else but your well being after that horrid incident at dinner. Are you alright?" He asked, concerned.

"Shouldn't you be asking Jezzie that question? Is _she_ alright? Has she recovered?" Mima asked, somewhat ashamed.

"Ever the pacifist." Pagan muttered softly and she didn't really understand what he meant by it. "She's been up and about the very next day. You shouldn't be concerned about her welfare. I know you didn't do anything to harm her, Mima."

"Pagan… thank you." She said trying to hold back her true emotions. "Well then," she continued, turning the conversation over to him. "How have you been? Is there any sign of improvement from your illness?"

"_My_ illness?" Taken aback, he asked. "What do you mean?"

"Jezzie said that you were suffering from a rare disease and…"

He didn't let her finish. "Jezzie said what? Mima, I assure you I am as healthy as ever. Whatever illness she told you that I have is a complete fabrication."

"But… I went for a blood test with her to see whether my blood type was compatible with yours." Mima admitted softly. None of it made any sense to her. When there wasn't any follow-up on the blood test, Mima only assumed that the blood wasn't compatible and Jezzie didn't bother to inform her.

It all made sense to him now. That's how she did it!! That was how the imposter managed to pass the blood test, by using Mima's blood in place of her own. "Mima, I have something very important to tell you…"

'Mima, table 8's looking thirsty!" Another waitress hollered, interrupting Pagan.

"Sorry, it will have to wait." Mima apologized to him. "I have to get back to work." She stood up and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"But, Mima." Pagan tried.

"Thank you for coming to see me. Take care." Within mere moments, she vanished into the throng of patrons in the bar.

Maybe coming to see her at work wasn't the best idea. There were too many distractions and the noise didn't help the environment for a heart to heart conversation. This wouldn't do. He needed to meet with her some place more quiet and with less people milling around and it needed to be soon.

* * *

Mima… Mima… Mima…

It had been 20 days, 16 hours, and 9 minutes since he'd seen her. He didn't even realize that he was keeping track of how long he'd been away from her. What terrified him was that he didn't know why. Relena was back after all so why was Mima still disturbing his thoughts?

_You care about her._ An inner voice confessed. "Impossible." He said in blatant defiance.

Heero had stayed true to his word; he hadn't touched a single ounce of alcohol despite the irritating need for it. He missed her. Correction: He missed her company. The whores that he slept with were also out of his life permanently and didn't he have her to thank for it?

_Don't forget what she did to Relena._ The logical hemisphere of his brain reminded him. The men were no longer pursuing that particular mystery but it still bothered him. Despite the evidence against her, Mima didn't seem like the person to be so calculating and malicious. Even now, Heero was blaming himself for not thinking rationally at that moment and nearly ending her life. What _was_ he thinking?! Everyone, including Zechs, dismissed the incident and was simply glad that Relena had been found and safe once again. Mima would no longer cause any problems for them; that's all she was to them, a problem, and it disgusted him. Something was still amiss, however, and he couldn't put his finger on it.

Even with Relena back, he was… the only word that came to mind was _incomplete_. Somehow it felt different with Relena now. True, it had been 10 years but could two individuals really change that much? Could it be possible that he no longer had feelings for the former political icon?

* * *

They agreed to meet every week, her and the should-be retired butler. Pagan had become her family in the short time frame that they knew each other. Normally she was reserved and not prone to trusting people unconditionally, but he was different. She enjoyed meeting with Pagan, who had become like a grandfather. They would chat about whatever that came to mind, anything but the sore subject of which they both vehemently avoided.

He'd been having a hell of a time trying to figure out the right way to bring up the subject of Relena's identity. No question, he wanted Mima to know the truth but it was becoming more difficult to give voice to his thoughts. How was he supposed to convince the woman in question when he couldn't even manage to convince Milliardo and Heero? It was inconceivable to think that a man of his age-old experience and wisdom was unable to do anything to help her. Frustration was the understatement of the year when it came to how he felt. The only thing keeping him sane at the moment was seeing her in person and physically speaking with her. Something must be done soon or he may risk more than an aneurysm. Perhaps it was about time that he used a different tactic by approaching the imposter.

"Mima, how have you been, everything okay? Can I help you with anything?" He asked, sitting across from her at the local Starbucks.

She took a quick sip of her mocha cappuccino before saying, "You always ask me that. Why?"

"I… " The old man hesitated, not sure whether it was the right time for the truth to be revealed. He looked down at his wrinkled hands that displayed the scars of age and constant worry. "I've been meaning to say this to you for a while now, Mima."

She waited for him to continue but he silence didn't waver. Mima noticed him struggling to put the words together and said softly, "It's alright, Pagan. You don't need to tell me if you don't feel comfortable about it."

He looked at her then, torn. The whole situation made him uncomfortable. How could they make such a tragic error in judgment in identifying Relena? "You're Relena Darlian!" He said steadily, much more calmly than he felt. Pagan's heart was beating much faster than it ever did but his composed demeanor masked his true fears and anxieties.

The only reaction from her was a blank one.

"How do I even begin to explain this?" Pagan said softly. "Listen very carefully. The woman claiming to be Relena back at the estate, the one you call Jezzie, is _not_ Relena. She cannot be Relena."

He noticed that he was beginning to lose her and she was looking anywhere but his face. "There are too many differences between the two women and I know Relena. I had been by her side ever since she became an orphan at the age of 3. I've been by _your_ side for two-thirds of _your_ life."

She listened quietly, still with no intention of speaking.

"Remember the scar that I mentioned to you? Jezzie doesn't even have a scratch on her; she drinks an astounding amount of alcohol when we all know that even one sip of it can make Relena nauseous and she's never been allergic to sesame seeds."

Sesame seeds? Mima didn't understand anything that he was saying to her but that didn't faze Pagan. He continued on.

"And her behavior in front of the staff! And…"

"Please, Pagan. Stop!" She suddenly interrupted him with more force than she intended. Mima didn't want to hear it and she shook her head slowly, clearly distraught with the information. "Why are you saying such things?"

"Relena…" Pagan pleaded.

"Don't call me that! I'm Mima! What you say makes no sense! Look, no one ever expected Jezzie to be Relena, least of all me. The blood test is something that we cannot deny. I only look like her but that's where the similarities end. That's it." She said with finality. A Starbucks employee walked around the tables offering free refills of coffee and both Mima and Pagan didn't even acknowledge her. Mima simply waved the employee away with her hand. They were too engrossed in their conversation to take any notice of their surroundings.

"Mima, please listen." Pagan tried.

Why was Pagan suddenly doing this to her? Why was he trying to get her to believe that she could be _the_ Relena Darlien, the one who Heero longed for, the woman who possessed enough political prowess to change the world, and most importantly, the one with a family? She didn't know what overcame Pagan but, at the moment, she didn't care. Her chest suddenly felt tight, the silver of her pendent felt cool to her skin. She realized that more than a pair of eyes were directed at her now. Mima was drawing too much attention to herself in the midst of her panic. She started to shake. What was wrong with her?

"I have to go. I'm sorry." Mima fled the coffee shop as fast and as gracefully as she could but still causing a scene and having all eyes follow her out of the place.

"Relena!" He was already too late and he mentally kicked himself for not mentioning the necklace that Heero gave her. That could have made the whole difference but now he would never know.

Talking to the men didn't work. Telling Mima didn't work. Perhaps his entire approach was wrong. What if he went directly to the source of all this chaos? What if he confronted Jezzie? Tonight.

* * *

Everyone already turned in for the night. Life in the estate was turned off along with all the lights that illuminated all the corridors and rooms. Pagan didn't notice the lateness of the hour but he knew Jezzie wasn't an early sleeper. It didn't take long before he found her in the sitting room reading a fashion magazine. He only needed to follow the slight crack of light beneath the two grand oak doors.

"Pagan, while you're still up, could you grab me a cup of coffee?" Jezzie asked without even looking up as she flipped a page.

"You're not Relena."

"Hmm?"

"I know you're not Relena Darlian." He said slowly and naturally, almost as if someone was commenting on the weather.

Every fiber of her body suddenly tensed. Jezzie tried to look innocent when she looked up at the butler. "What do you mean?"

She knew it! The old man was going to cause trouble for her. Over the last few weeks, she was beginning to grow more suspicious of Pagan and it would seem that her fears were justified. Jezzie swallowed, "Are you feeling alright? What's gotten into you?"

He ignored her blatant acting. She couldn't fool him anymore. "You have been deceiving everyone. I will find a way to stop you." Pagan accused in a threatening calm voice.

She glared at him with all the hatred she could muster. "Do you honestly think you can change the way things are, now?"

Pagan's heart was pounding so loudly that he wondered if Jezzie could hear it. He was losing control of the situation and fast. Before he clearly thought out what to do next, he heard himself say, "Mima _is_ Relena! We both know it! Sooner or later everyone will realize how you have deceived them all!" He immediately regretted what he said for he didn't know how much worse the conversation could turn.

Jezzie took a step back, stunned. How much did he know? "Be careful, old man." She needed to think, fast. Then, inspiration hit! "Fine, fine. You caught me! But if you share this little secret with anyone else, there is no guarantee that Mima will remain… healthy." She said it merely as an empty threat and she hoped that he wouldn't catch her on it.

He was utterly shocked from what she was implying. Was she willing to go that far?

Did he inadvertently put Mima in danger? He took several breaths to settle down and to think, hard.

From his silence, Jezzie could tell that she hit a vulnerable spot. "So, what do you say? Do we have an agreement?"

"You… you…" He couldn't get the words out. With no warning, there was a striking pain in his chest and he was finding it difficult to breathe. "I… will not… let you… hurt… her!"

"How can you stop me? You have no proof, no authority. Who would believe you?" Jezzie ridiculed.

The pain was too much for him and he fell to his knees. His heart was beating irratically and unevenly. He was having a heart attack! Panic soon consumed him. His face turned bright red and his back became tensed and covered in perspiration. The strain and unbelievable stress must have caught up with him and the timing couldn't have been better!

"I…I…" He choked.

She merely stared and waited for him to continue, almost daring him to defy her.

"I... " It seemed like he was having trouble breathing and wasn't able to speak.

From the look on his pained face, he wasn't acting. The butler was suffering and despite the differences of opinion they held for one another, she had to help him. "Alright, alright. I'll go find help. Just don't go dying on me before we finished our… discussion."

As he saw her leave the room, he could feel his heart weakening. Each breath that he took felt like breathing mercury. It was becoming too painful to even think clearly. He wasn't going to make it and it killed him to think that Relena's true identity may never be revealed. Pagan felt his face land on the lush carpet flooring; his body grew numb and frail. He failed her. "Relena, I'm…sorry."

TBC

A/N: Thank you all for your reviews!! It really means a lot to me to see so many people interested in my crap haha… I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Your support has definitely motivated me to continue writing so thank you!

Thanks Diane (Purdy) for being my editor, as always. This chapter works so much better now that you've shared your infinite wisdom and talent with me! You're the best!


	15. Psychoanalysis

Identity Lost

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

Fifteen – Psychoanalysis

_Death is a tool that shows us all how incredibly human we are, that everything must come to an end. _

Pagan's death: Mima couldn't even recall how she found out. Perhaps it had been Isabel who called her three days ago with the news. She remembered feeling numb and unable to process anything that was being said over the phone. It disgusted her how things had ended between them. Who cared what Pagan thought? Why couldn't she let the old man have the little indulgence to think that she were Relena? The elderly were prone to suffer memory lapses after all, weren't they? She couldn't help the guilt that clouded her senses – What if she was the one who caused him to have the heart attack?

Clad in black with dark sunglasses, she made sure that she was the last to arrive at the funeral. The Church service had finished and everyone headed to the gravesite where Pagan would be laid. Mima noticed Zechs standing solemnly next to Jezzie while the former Gundam pilots stood quietly behind them in a row. The priest offered a final verse from the Bible while dozens of relatives and associates wept silently and reminisced.

Mima stayed far behind from the crowd and hoped that her glasses would mask her identity. This was the last place where she wanted to start any trouble with Jezzie. She only hoped that she could pay respects to Pagan without being noticed by anyone. Once the attendees began to leave, Mima quickly hid behind a nearby tree to avoid being spotted. Pagan's immediate family thanked everyone for coming and she noticed Zechs and Jezzie getting into their dark sedan. Mima was trying to steal a glance at Heero but he was nowhere to be found. Perhaps he had already left with the crowd.

She waited a few more minutes to ensure that all the guests had already left before approaching Pagan. Mima slowly walked out from behind the trunk of the aging oak tree to bid a final farewell. Dozens of flowers littered the newly covered earth and Mima felt somewhat inadequate when she laid a single iris among the other bouquets. An iris, she recalled, was known to represent faith, hope, and wisdom; all characteristics in which she felt he possessed.

As she knelt by his grave, she sensed the most horrible pain in her heart at the loss and she couldn't explain why she felt so strongly towards the recently deceased butler. They were only acquainted for a few months but, somehow, it felt much longer than that.

"Pagan, I'm sorry."

She thought about all the conversations she had with Pagan. She remembered his kind face and his willingness to help her. His voice… his words became the prevailing voice in her head, which she couldn't shake.

"_You're Relena Darlian!" Pagan said softly._

"_How do I even begin to explain this?" _

"_Relena…" _

"_Mima, please listen." _

"STOP IT!" She hissed at the voice. Mima could feel another migraine coming. Very carefully, she breathed deeply and exhaled through her mouth as beads of sweat began forming on her forehead. "Stop…stop." She whispered, now begging for the migraine to cease. With two shaking hands, she covered both sides of her head to prevent the oncoming onslaught. She was too wrapped up trying to control her headache to hear anyone approach her from behind.

* * *

Heero knew the minute she showed up to the funeral. It was almost as if all his senses were tuned in to her and he wondered why she had such an effect on him. He noticed that she was trying to remain unseen in the throng of guests. Apparently the last thing she wanted was a confrontation. But _why was she here?_

When Relena and the others were ready to leave, Heero decided to investigate the very enigma that was in question.

"I'll catch up with you guys later. There's something I left back at the office." He said to the others.

They didn't so much as bat an eyelid to his lie and Duo simply gave him a wave. Ten short minutes later, everyone had departed. Heero couldn't explain his need to see _her_ but this was probably the last opportunity he had to speak to Mima.

He watched her carefully as she walked to Pagan's gravestone. She kneeled down beside the newly covered earth and said something too soft for Heero to hear. He stood only five steps behind her and she showed no signs of knowing that someone was there. She looked thinner to him and she was breathing harder than usual. _Was she crying?_

Instead of going to her, he said softly, "He was a good man."

A gentle voice knocked her out of her pain-filled state and the migraine gradually receded. Mima's breathing slowed considerably and she removed her hands from her head. It seemed that the catalyst behind the migraine was thinking about Pagan's haunting words. Mima was grateful to the unknown stranger for stopping the pounding in her head.

She felt too weak to get up and remained kneeling in front of Pagan. "Yes, he was. I miss him already." Mima replied.

The stranger still had no intention of revealing himself and she was too tired to turn around. She only continued to look at Pagan's full name engraved on the stone and asked, "Were you two well acquainted?"

Heero put his hands into the pockets of his suit in a lazy pose. He wanted to go to her but he didn't know how. "We knew each other," was his only response.

She paused to take in what he said and reached down to touch the necklace that Pagan found for her. "He was the only one," Mima continued, "who was kind to me when others doubted my innocence. He…" Her voice cracked and she tried to keep her emotions in check.

"When others doubted your innocence?" He repeated, though he knew the subject to which she was referring. If he played his cards right, he may be able to get more information out of her while she was in an emotionally frazzled state. Although it pained him to find the truth this way, he just had to know. "What happened?"

"A misunderstanding. That's all it was." Mima began. Still, she remained kneeling before Pagan, evidently in no hurry to get up. "I was accused of hurting someone… someone very important."

He could see her slightly trembling as she relayed her side of the story. "Did you?" Heero asked in the same tone as the Perfect Soldier.

She was silent for so long that he thought she wasn't going to answer, but then she said, "You know what the funny thing is? They never asked me that; _he_ didn't ask me that. I think that was what hurt the most, the fact that he didn't trust me."

She was talking about him and there was nothing more she could say to make him feel even worse than he already did about his actions that night. He wanted to apologize but the words escaped him.

"As much as we didn't get along, her and I," She went on, "I wouldn't… I couldn't have… Well, this probably isn't making any sense to you."

It was ironic that he understood everything she was saying and not saying. He desperately wanted to believe her.

"And Pagan," Mima reached over to brush her delicate fingers across the etchings on the stone, "he believed me."

He knew her pain. It seemed like yesterday when he found out Relena had disappeared. At that time, the overwhelming need to make sense of things was all too great. Without realizing it, he approached her and stood right behind her crouched form.

Mima's head was bowed and her fingers trailed down to the years carved on the granite, dictating the timeframe that he had been on Earth. Instinctively, Heero reached out a hand to touch her shoulder for comfort but he noticed something that stopped him from making that contact. His hand hung mid-air between them as he stared at the anomaly in front of him. Her hair… The roots of her hair were growing in but the surprising thing was that her new hair was dark blond. Mima's natural hair color wasn't black; her hair was dyed. He couldn't explain why that little fact disturbed him as he dropped the hand back to his side.

"There is something that he left with me, though." She said.

"What was that?" He asked, thankful that she disrupted his thoughts.

Very quietly, she whispered, "hope." Pagan rekindled the little hope left in her to find out who she really was. Mima never really gave it much thought but she wanted to reclaim her past now more than ever. The realism of his death proved how human they all were; she could pass on at any moment without really knowing who she was and she couldn't accept that.

"Hope." She said with more conviction. "Yes, Pagan, I know what I must do."

He was confused but she must have realized something important during their conversation, something to which only she understood. Mima slowly stood back up, never averting her eyes away from Pagan's grave. "Thank you."

"What must you do?"

It just occurred to her that she still didn't know to whom she was speaking with and it unnerved her that the voice sounded familiar and yet, she couldn't put a name to it. Just then, she turned around and asked, "Who are…

Before the rest of the question left her lips, her eyes made contact with the very person who nearly killed her. Mima immediately took a step back, not knowing whether her reflex was driven by fear and anger or the fact that he was standing too close to her.

"…you?" She couldn't believe that Heero Yuy was the man behind her and it almost angered her that he didn't make himself known. A tense silence ensued where neither made any attempt to speak.

"Heero… what are you doing?" Mima asked, frustrated that he would try to have her confess to him while she was mourning for Pagan. It hurt too much to think he would stoop so low to protect his precious Relena. "You couldn't even ask me face to face, could you?"

"I… I'm sorry." He apologized, not knowing what else to say.

The anger that he sensed in her was well warranted and he couldn't force himself to look into her eyes. What he did to her was unforgivable. How he treated her was inexcusable. She showed nothing but kindness to him, despite his abject obsession with a certain woman. But she didn't care. How was he supposed to tell her all these things when there was such a rift between them, when he was the one who ignited the fuse that severed their friendship?

She continued, "Heero, your devotion to Relena is admirable. I should only be so lucky to find someone like you."

"Mima…"

She kissed her left hand and placed it on the gravestone in final farewell to Pagan and walked away.

* * *

Mima waited patiently in the main office of Dr. David Tobias' Medical Clinic. The newly constructed brick building was located in the epicenter of downtown where the comings and goings were twenty-four/seven. Leather seats and a glass coffee table adorned the waiting area. Random pieces of art hung on the walls and she wondered how many of her paychecks it would take to afford the framing alone. It seemed Dr. Tobias spared no expenses when it came to making his patients feel that they were getting the most prestigious treatment and utmost care. The secretary, whose name escaped Mima, sat on the opposite side behind her post, typing away at something and answering phones in one fluid motion. 

Finances were still tight and it was a miracle that she could afford the few sessions. Her budget would probably be maxed out after the 4th or 5th session and she hoped that if she worked hard enough, there would be some catalyst to jump-start her memory.

"Dr. Tobias will see you now." The secretary motioned as she pulled the door open that led into the room where the sessions were usually held.

"Ah, Mima. Nice to see you again." Dr. Tobias began. "Please have a seat."

"Thank you." She took her usual seat opposite the doctor as he grabbed his clipboard and joined her.

"This is our third session. Do you feel any changes at all? Anything coming back to you?" Tobias asked patiently.

Mima sighed and shook her head slightly. She, too, hoped that there would be some improvement in recapturing her memory. That was the reason why she came to the Clinic in the first place. Under some careful research, she found Dr. Tobias' reputation to be the most successful and dependable. If she couldn't recover her memory through their therapy sessions then there was no saving her.

"Let's quickly recap what we discussed before, shall we?" Mima nodded once and gave a weak smile. He knew that she was trying but _generalised memory losses _were not easily treated. In fact, it had been a long time since he'd met a patient who was as determined as she to remember her past.

"The first thing you remember is waking up at the Kanzaki residence and that's where you've lived for the past 8 or 9 years until you moved out with your sister, Jezzie." Dr.Tobias stated as he flipped through his notes. "You were looked after by Harry and Samantha and have been working for them at the bar since that timeframe?"

"Correct." She acknowledged.

He thought it rather strange that the couple that took her in had never bothered to help reclaim her memory and he told her so.

"I never understood their logic either but I never wanted to pry since they were the only family that I knew. I mean, I had nowhere else to go."

Dr. David Tobias jotted a few more notes and asked, "You must have thought about your true identity before and yet, I'm seeing you ten years later after the fact. Why now?"

She looked away from him then and it was obvious the question made her uncomfortable.

"Very well, we will leave that question for later. I'd like to try something different today. There is a therapy where the patients are put under hypnosis and we are going to try to bring your repressed memories to the surface." He explained to her as he stood up to set up the tape recording.

"Hypnosis?" Mima blurted. "I…I'm sorry but I don't think that's going to work."

Dr. Tobias popped in a new cassette tape and sat back down in his seat. "We'll never know until we try, right? I will be recording this session so we can review it at a later date. Just sit back and relax, okay?"

The psychiatrist spent the next ten minutes giving simple instructions to help Mima clear her mind. He went over breathing techniques and asked her to envision calming images such as the sea, a forest, and so on and so forth. Mima thought it was all overdone and couldn't see how it would help her recover her memory.

With her eyes closed, she could see none of those things. It simply looked black. "Doctor, I don't see… Wait."

"What do you see, Mima?"

Suddenly her world of darkness flashed into color. She stood in front of grand building several floors high. Although she'd never been there before, it seemed familiar so it must have been from a time she couldn't remember. Students dressed in the same violet uniform were mingling around her as they ran to and from the main gate.

_C'mon, Relena. Mr. Tanaka will have a fit if we're late again!_

_Relena, let's go! _

"Students… Someone's calling Relena to hurry." Mima said, trying to make sense of what she was seeing in her trance.

"What else is happening?" Dr. Tobias probed.

"Um…" Soon the image shifted and she was in front of a crowd, handing a letter to a young boy. She couldn't see his face since there was a bright light distorting his true appearance. However, she noticed that he was dressed in the same style of uniform that they all were, albeit his suit was blue.

"I see a boy and I give him something."

"Go on…" The doctor said.

Mima furrowed her eyebrows in concentration and said, "It's an invitation, a birthday invitation." She was breathing harder while she tried to remember. "He rips it in half and…"

"Mima, you must concentrate." Tobias urged.

"He says…" The face was slowly becoming clearer as he walked right up to her to wipe a single tear from her face. "…I'll destroy you."

It was Heero. She couldn't believe it! The boy was a striking likeness to the Heero that she knew now. He possessed the same piercing eyes, the lithe muscular form, and unruly mass of brown hair. Without a doubt, it was Heero Yuy. As she mentally reached out to touch him, the figure disappeared in smoke as the background faded into nothingness.

"I… I can't do this." Mima whispered as her head lulled back and forth on the couch.

He looked up from his notes then and saw her struggling with the painful image. _I'll destroy you._ Was that really what she said? Clearly it was taking a lot out of her and he wasn't sure if it was really her past that she was seeing. "Mima, I want to you leave that time behind. Slow your breathing and concentrate on my voice."

Her labored breathing lengthened as he continued to calm her and her head rested comfortably once again on the headrest.

"All you see is a calming darkness. Now, return to us and open your eyes." Tobias instructed.

The images she saw gradually faded into black and she blinked her eyes a few times to adjust to the brightness in the room. It felt strange to her to see such images in her head and she gently rubbed her forehead as the doctor spoke to her.

"Do you remember everything that you just experienced?"

"Yes," She stated, "but I'm not sure if they were a true recollection of my past."

The doctor scribbled some more notes on his notepad, nodding at her response. "Why do you say that?"

She tried to look over to see what he was writing down but was unsuccessful. Mima always grew nervous whenever Dr. Tobias wrote his shorthand notes because it made her feel more vulnerable, almost as if her very words were being analyzed under a microscope. She rolled her shoulders around out of nervousness and said, "well, Heero was there and that just doesn't make any sense."

He simply nodded for her to continue as the pen kept its flawless dance across the paper.

"He is someone that I met recently and I don't see how we could have possibly known each other before. There must have been some crazy wires crossed between the present and the past, right?"

"How would you know?"

She paused and stared at him. "I…well, what are the chances that I'd run into someone I knew from my past life?"

"I'd like you to think about that until next time."

* * *

Connor Striker sat at home, alone yet again. He lounged comfortably on his sofa, droning out the white noise coming from the television set and ignoring the paperwork that was stacked inches high on his office table just down the hall. 

He really must get back to work but one glance at the documents had him grimacing and he picked up the cordless phone to order take out.

"Alright, I'll get to it once I get some food in me." He promised himself.

It didn't take long for the doorbell to ring and his stomach growled out of instinct. "I'm coming." He announced, reaching for a twenty-dollar bill from his wallet.

Connor opened the door halfway and said, "You guys sure work fast. Did you get new manageme…?"

It wasn't the delivery guy. "Mima."

She was the last person he expected to see in his doorway and his shocked expression mirrored how he felt. Soon the shock was replaced with excitement and delight. Dressed in a form-fitting overcoat and simple cardigan pants, she looked beautiful no matter what she wore.

"Hi." She said quietly.

"Hi." He merely repeated. When he was certain he had overcome the surprise of seeing Mima here, he said, "I mean, how've you been? Would…you like to come in?"

"I…" Mima looked more tensed than usual and that got him wondering why she was here in the first place. She had her arms wrapped around herself as if for warmth or comfort. Something must have been wrong.

"What is it?" Connor asked calmly. "What happened?"

"I'm sorry. I should've never come." She said as she turned to leave.

He immediately reached for her arm and gently held her back. "No, please."

She looked back at him and she was taken back by the look in his eyes.

"Come in and tell me what's wrong." He pleaded. "Let me help you." The human contact was what made her cave. She didn't want to acknowledge the fact that it felt good to have someone care for her when she needed it most. Connor led her into his home and had her sit on the couch that he just vacated. He didn't join her until he filled a glass of water for her from the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" Connor asked, sitting himself next to Mima but ensuring there was enough space between them.

"I guess that's why I came to see you. There's really no one else I could turn to." She admitted, holding the untouched glass in her hand.

"What do you mean?"

Instead of answering, she said, "Have I ever told you that I don't really know who I am?"

He chuckled and said, "We all feel that way sometimes."

"No. It's different." She said. "I…" Although the words were on the tip of her tongue, she couldn't tell him what she'd been through, the pain she'd suffered. He'd probably think she was out of her mind.

Heero was still lingering in her thoughts and she wanted to forget him. He was consuming her and it was even affecting her attempts at trying to remember her past. Heero was _everywhere_ and it wouldn't help if she couldn't focus on getting her memory back if she couldn't see past the obsession with the Japanese man.

Was that why she was here? Was she using Connor as a distraction? Suddenly, she didn't feel right being there. She had no right to use him. "I shouldn't be here. I really should get going."

"Mima, just sit still for 5 minutes, please! It won't kill you." Connor admitted. "I know something is wrong. Otherwise, you wouldn't be here."

"I'm here for the wrong reasons."

"It doesn't matter."

"But…"

"Mima, I'm here for you." He said, strangely gentle. "I've always been."

He wanted to kick himself for not being able to express how he felt. It wouldn't surprise him if she thought that his attraction to her was merely trivial but how was he supposed to prove otherwise? Very slowly, Connor brushed a hand over the loose hair that fell over his face. His heart was hammering in his chest, urging him to come clean with his feelings. Connor stared at her, hoping she could read him through his eyes.

_He did seem different somehow, _she thought. He wasn't cracking jokes or making light of the situation and he wanted her to know that he could be serious when the opportune moment presented itself.

Connor continued, "I care about you and I've never felt this way about anyone. It's not just some random infatuation that I have with other girls. It's… What I feel for you is real."

It was uncanny how similar their romantic problems were. Connor's attraction to her was probably just as strong as the feelings she had for Heero.

"Like two peas in a pod." Mima murmured to herself.

"What?" He asked, confused.

The doorbell rang then and Connor cursed out loud. He stood up quickly and held both hands out for Mima to remain where she was. "Don't move. I'll be right back."

As he went to get the door, she took the time to look around his place. Everything was immaculately tidy and in order. There weren't any beer cans strewn everywhere and she predicted that if she brushed a finger over the counter top by the wall, she wouldn't find a speck of dust on it. Mima shook her head slightly and scolded herself for doing it again – comparing Connor to Heero.

The more she thought about it, however, the more it didn't make sense to her. Why was she wasting her time waiting for someone that would never be hers when Connor was standing merely a few feet away?

She recalled most of their previous encounters where he was desperate to cajole one date out of her. Not once had she replied in the affirmative and now she began to wonder why. It wasn't because she disliked him. Sometimes she found him rather amusing at his determination and perseverance. She knew that dozens of women would be fighting for the chance to get to know him better. He was a suave, sophisticated, and independent individual after all. More importantly, he chose her. Out of all the beautiful women that he undoubtedly had the chance of meeting, he wasn't interested in them. He wanted her. Didn't that say something? Shouldn't she at least give him the benefit of the doubt?

"I should." Mima whispered as Connor walked back into the living room with boxes of Chinese food.

"Mima, let's have some dinner. We can finish our conversation later." He said, putting everything on the dining table and grabbing cutlery from the kitchen drawer.

"No, we can finish the conversation now." She said, standing up.

Her tone of voice sounded strained and he looked at her. Mima walked over to him and cupped his confused face in both hands. Their eyes never wavered from one another. "I… want to give this a try."

"Mima…"

Connor's thoughts were racing thunderously. He carefully reached for one of her hands that held his face to make sure she was real. He leaned down and brushed his lips to hers in a very innocent kiss.

She closed her eyes and thought it was right to do this. She deserved to be loved and yet, Mima only felt the physical mating of their mouths. Deep down in her soul, she felt raw, blank, as if she were floating in nothingness.

But by god, she was going to try to make it work.

TBC

A/N: Happy Belated New Years to all… and Happy (soon to be) Chinese New Year!!!

Thanks for all your reviews!! Thank you: WindCloud, marble eyes, Morrighan, Fanatic, Kitty Yannie, Liesl 944, Mini Nicka, Lay Hime, yuya otaku, Nubia, yuya hime, Anrui Shino, Amulak, 999Shikaku999, kar00, crystal-gundam, Koori Youkai Hime, TheEvilAshleyness, Marli8907, Odinpeacecraft, and zero0001.

Regarding some of your questions, let's see if I can answer some of them:

So many people want Relena to remember already… HAHAHAH... I promise you… She will finally remember in the upcoming chapter. That's right, you heard me!! So, please be patient for a little longer!

Yuya hime – I haven't really considered Heero's point of view in all this. I guess that was my fault for not thinking it through. I guess Heero's not really paying attention. He's been blinded by the fact that he finally has Relena back and he's not picking anything up on the proverbial Perfect Soldier radar. I'll try to make a point of correcting this for the later chapters. Thanks!


	16. Mind Over Matter

AN: I KNOW I KNOW!! It took me a freakin' year to update this? I am appalled and ashamed at my lack of effort in this fic. It will never happen again. Hopefully, the next installment will not take half as long. HAPPY READING!

Identity Lost

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

Sixteen – Mind Over Matter

_We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams - __Jeremy Irons_

_She dreamed of gunfire and death. The acidic stench of gunpowder overwhelmed her senses as she stood silently in the midst of a brutal battle, deadly machines that towered over office buildings in the landscape. The noise was deafening and she wanted to escape but her legs remained fixed._

"_Relena!" Someone cried from a distance. _

_She looked around trying to identify to whom the haunting voice belonged. The scene shifted suddenly and she was standing in front of a school. An eerie calm soon replaced the metallic booming and thunderous bullets from before. Strangely enough, she became even more frightened from the silence than from the war torn images and sounds from before. Then, a distant rumble began and the earth started shaking. An earthquake? No, it was something far worse. Things started falling – trees, bricks, debris from buildings. She tried to run for cover but was still unable to move. Pieces of building around her continued to fall and she knew it was only a matter of time until she was crushed. The rumbling grew louder above her and she knew that this was it. With her arms shielding her head, she waited for the inevitable. _

Her eyes squinted at the blaring sun that penetrated the thin curtains. Mima reluctantly opened her eyelids as the images from her dream faded into nothingness. The outline of the bedroom slowly came into focus as she mentally rubbed away the morning drowsiness from her mind and she noticed she wasn't in her own room nor was she sleeping alone.

A masculine arm wrapped comfortably around her waist and she held back the gasp of surprise from seeing Connor Striker sleeping silently beside her.

_What happened last night? _

She looked beneath the blankets and, thankfully, she was still fully dressed. Very slowly, Mima tried to edge her way off the bed so she could get a better grasp of the situation. She inched half of her body over the side of the queen bed before Connor reached for her waist again.

He groaned at the lost contact and repositioned himself so that he could pull her back into the bed. "Good morning," Connor murmured into the nape of her neck.

"Uh, morning." Mima responded and then asked before she lost the nerve. "Why didn't I go home last night?"

Connor pulled the warm covers tightly over their bodies before saying, "you fell asleep on the couch while we were watching TV and I couldn't force myself to wake you." He shrugged and continued, "you looked so tired and being the selfish guy that I am, I wanted to have you stay overnight. I hope it's okay."

Now that the shock had worn off, she found it nice to be cared for and looked after. Sometimes Connor really surprised her. Mima smiled at him and melted any worries he had about doing the wrong thing. They stayed in each other's embrace for several minutes before Connor looked at the digital clock and thought that they should be starting their day.

"Take your time getting up. I'll make breakfast." He said, leaning over and placing a kiss on her cheek. Before she could respond, he hopped off the bed and disappeared into the kitchen.

Mima slowly stretched out her muscles, then snuggled deeper into the lush folds of the thick blanket, and was glad that she didn't have to work that day. She wished to have one day where the complications in her life would take a backseat and leave her thoughts at peace. She could do it… just drone out everything that had gone wrong with her life and have fun for once.

The sweet aroma of freshly brewed coffee finally dragged her out of bed. She made a quick stop to the bathroom to wash her face and noticed the neatly folded towels and a new toothbrush were placed on the counter along with a note, _Thought you might like to clean up before breakfast._ She was impressed and she couldn't help but smile at the message.

In the light of day, Mima was able to get a better view of his home and she was surprised at the authenticity of the Victorian designs on the ceiling, window frames, and wooden balustrade that led to the main floor. The two-story house felt too vast and empty for only one person and she wondered if he planned to raise a family on the small estate. As she made her way downstairs, her mouth watered at the enriched smells of bacon, scrambled eggs, and French toast. Connor poured some orange juice into two glasses and he motioned her to the table. Everything was already set from the cutlery, plates, mugs and glasses, to the paper napkins. The steaming food was placed tidily in the center of the table along with fresh fruit and muffins. It looked too good to eat.

"Connor, I never knew you could cook." She praised.

"Breakfast food is all I can do." The chef replied modestly. "Please dig in. You must be starving."

They ate in comfortable silence and once they had had their fill, Mima volunteered to do the dishes and Connor reluctantly obliged.

As she scrubbed away the deliciously fattening grease off the plates, Connor finished the remainder of his coffee and he couldn't help but grin at the homely, domestic scene that they both displayed. If only Mima could wake up here every morning, he'd be thrilled at the prospect.

He wanted to prolong this day, something that could keep them together…"Why don't we go shopping today?"

Mima turned off the faucet and dried her hands on the cotton dishtowel. She turned around and said, "Sounds like a great idea."

* * *

The annual spring bazaar was crowded with the usual sea of teenagers, families, and groups of friends ready to overspend. Mima and Connor browsed the stores briefly until they reached the internationally renowned bookstore. Connor didn't think they'd be in there for that long but once he noticed her excitement over the massive shelves of books, he didn't want to break her from that moment of joy. Her pace quickened as she zigzagged down the aisles, touching the spines of the novels lined neatly against the walls. 

"I love books." She commented as she picked up another novel to read the book jacket.

He chuckled and said, "I noticed. Why don't you pick one? My treat."

"I could no sooner choose a favorite tree in a forest." She replied, putting _The Count of Monte Cristo_ back to its rightful place and carefully sliding _The Time Traveller's Wife _down to her awaiting hands.

"That's a good one." He nodded to the novel that she was reading. "Very romantic and incredibly well written."

She looked up at him and asked, "And I suppose like all good romance novels, it ends with a _happily ever after_?"

He rubbed his chin in mock thought and exclaimed, "guess you'll have to read it and find out." Connor then snatched the very book from her hands and proceeded to the checkout.

"Wait!" Mima raced after him looking exasperated. "You really don't need to buy it for me."

"Consider it a gift." He said once the item was rung through and the clerk smiled, placing the book into a plastic bag.

With a small sigh and an expression of defeat, she shook her head. "Men. Always the same…"

"You mean incredibly charming and oozing with perfection in every way?" He joked as he handed her the bag.

She laughed unabashedly. "Sure." Before forgetting her manners completely, Mima gave him a quick hug as they left the store and said, "Thanks for the book."

"My pleasure." He grinned and they continued strolling down the street among the throng of visitors.

Another half hour of window shopping later, Connor suggested, "Hungry yet? Wanna grab some artery clogging goodness from the fast food joints?" When she didn't respond, he gently nudged her but there was still nothing. "Mima?" It seemed as if she were dazed, mesmerized by something. He followed her gaze and saw what she saw. Jezzie, with another man.

* * *

What were the chances of all four of them running into each other like this? Suddenly all the negative thoughts sprinted back into her mind and her stomach lurched at the idea of another confrontation with _Relena _and her perfect soldier. She prayed that Jezzie and Heero didn't see her and would continue walking past them. 

"Mima?" Jezzie inquired only a few feet away. All parties concerned froze on their tracks eyeing the other couple. It was almost as if an invisible shield prevented them from closing the distance between them. "Look what we have here, Mima and Connor. What are you doing with him?" She asked, a slight hint of suspicion in her tone.

"I…we…"

"We're shopping. What else would you be doing on a Saturday?" Connor answered, saving her from any further explanation.

Jezzie feigned indifference and said, "Oh, Connor, have you met my boyfriend, Heero Yuy? Heero, this is Connor Striker."

Mima mentally cringed at that word, _boyfriend_. Did he really live up to that endearment? Was that what Connor was to her? And why wasn't Heero saying anything? He must've seen her just as she was fully aware of his presence. On second thought, she wasn't so surprised with his lack of conversation; Heero had always been the stereotypical silent type.

As the men exchanged first greetings and shook hands, Mima tried avoiding Heero like the plague. It must have been some kind of curse looming over her for making their paths cross like this. She could only fathom a guess that Jezzie enjoyed watching her squirm. Before she could muster an excuse to leave, Jezzie suggested they all go for a late lunch together.

Clearly Jezzie was using another tactic to embarrass her and she wasn't as gullible as before. Being tricked once by her beloved sister was once too many. "I don't think so." Mima responded curtly.

"Stop being a wet blanket. We need some time to catch up and besides, I haven't seen Connor in a while."

"You know, that is true." Connor began. "But if Mima's not feeling up to it, maybe next time." Without giving her the opportunity for a rebuttal, he quickly bid farewell to them both and placed a firm hand on Mima's lower back to guide her away from the group.

Once they were out of earshot, Mima released a sigh, partly thankful and partly in guilt for being the downer of the group. "I'm sorry about that. You probably wanted to chat with her a bit more but…"

"Don't get me wrong, Mima. I know she's your sister but I really can't stand her sometimes. I have no idea how you even managed to live with her all these years."

"She's family." Mima admitted, almost as if those two words explained everything that was wrong between them.

Connor only shook his head and reached for her hand. "The problem, my dear, is that you're too sweet."

* * *

"That was rude." Jezzie huffed. Heero didn't care that she sounded annoyed. "So what do you think? Mima and Connor an item now?" 

He didn't know what to think. One glance at Mima and all was forgotten, including the newcomer into her life. He was amazed at how much he missed her at that moment. Weeks had passed and he was foolish to assume that his feelings for her would diminish. Strangely, they had only grown stronger by her absence. Heero felt tormented with the way things had ended between them and perhaps she deserved some happiness now after all the disappointments and heartache.

"Heero?"

As much as he reminded himself that it didn't matter who Mima was seeing, an uncomfortable knot still formed in the pit of his stomach when he saw them walking away together.

"Heero, are you listening? I said I'm bored and I want to head home."

"Yeah." He said, returning his thoughts back to the woman who he once thought was the only important person to protect.

* * *

Glad to be back with the experts. She no longer had a fear of meeting with Dr. Tobias. Dressed casually in a loose flannel shirt and navy blue jeans, she knew today would provide the breakthrough that she needed in restoring her memories. 

"It's a party. People are dancing." Mima said as she laid on the leather recliner.

"Go on," Dr. David Tobias said.

"I am dancing with someone…Heero."

He jotted some notes down and asked, "You're dancing with a hero?"

Her brows furrowed together in disagreement and recounted the conversation to Tobias as how it was playing in her mind verbatim.

_She was the first to break the silence, "Heero, I know too much about you. Are you still gonna kill me?" _

_He replied softly, "Yeah." _

"_I didn't want to die with no answers, but now it's different. Now I know how you feel when you fight." She continued.  
_

"_Huh?" _

_She went on further, "And that's because I'm on your side now."_

Dr. Tobias remained silent through her monologue, then said, "I want you to leave the party and tell me the next scene that you see."

Mima was reluctant to leave the comforts of the ballroom and the amazing feeling of being in Heero's arms. At that point, she didn't care whether it was a recollection of her past or a figment of her imagination. It felt right and that's all that mattered.

"I don't want to." She whispered.

"But you must," Dr. Tobias gently prodded. "Walk away from Heero to learn what you want to learn. Tell me what you see."

The ballroom faded into the darkness and soon a new scene appeared that was frighteningly similar to the strange dream that she had while sleeping over at Connor's. The images she saw were equally as vivid as those of her dream. Thunderous missiles, booming gunfire, and the sound of crumbling buildings seemed all too familiar.

"I'm outside. Outside of the school, I think."

"What's happening?" Tobias asked.

"An explosion. The tower next to me is exploding. Debris is falling and I'm caught right underneath it." She explained, her breathing grew short and strained. "I'm going to die."

He didn't want her to panic and said soothingly. "You're perfectly safe, Mima. Remember, none of this is real; they're just memories."

"Something's protecting me from the falling stones but I can't see who… or what."

The smoke from her mind slowly dissipated to the winds and a gigantic machine gradually revealed itself piece by piece: the metallic body armor, the shield protruding from its left arm that provided her shelter a few inches above her head, and the eerie green lights glowing from the head's eyes.

"The fog is lifting and it's a…machine."

"Machine?" Tobias repeated, then thought about objects that resembled anything similar to what Mima was describing and only one thing came to mind – Gundams. "That must be from the war years ago. Do you see who's piloting the machine?"

She opened her eyes and slowly sat up, oblivious to how she broke the hypnosis without further instruction.

"It's Heero." She explained matter-of-factly as if she were making conversation about the weather.

Shocked by her sudden alertness, he jumped up from his seat and nearly tossed the clipboard. "Mima! How did you? I mean… how could you?"

"I'm sorry, I have to go." Mima replied, suddenly looking uncomfortable.

Before he had an opportunity to recover from the shock of seeing his patient walk out during hypnosis, she was already gone. He didn't even have time to schedule her in for the next session.

* * *

The moment she stepped out of the building, she began running. There was no destination in mind; she just couldn't stand still. Something happened back at Dr. Tobias' office, something profound. Perhaps her memory was trying to break free to the surface but there was still something refusing the past to reach her consciousness. 

She continued running even when her lungs protested.

It couldn't be a coincidence that Heero repeatedly appeared in her recollections. Mima was certain that she knew him. That was the only explanation; she _knew_ him.

Her arms pumped vigorously, her legs feeling the strain of disuse. Soon she noticed that she ran out of room to run and ran across the intersection to the other side without a second's hesitation. Lost in her scattered thoughts, she didn't see the oncoming vehicle approaching and everything turned to black.

* * *

"Hey, lady! Are you ok?" A man's voice sounded faint to her. 

She tried to sit up and felt strong arms helping her.

"What happened?" A woman asked.

"I dunno. I was trying to turn and this lady jumped right in front of my car. Good thing I wasn't going too fast. Must've had the wind knocked out of her." She heard the man explain.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked around to see a crowd gathered around her and the man that helped her. Her right hand instinctively touched her forehead to feel for any damage and luckily everything seemed okay. In fact, everything was better than okay. Suddenly, everything seemed clear.

"Do you want me to take you to the hospital?" The man asked. "You knocked your head pretty hard, I think."

"No, I'm fine." She said, smiling. "I remember."

"Remember what?" He asked, suddenly worried that she knocked a screw loose.

"I remember." She repeated as she tried to stand up. She rubbed some feeling into her arms and legs and was thankful that she wasn't injured at all. "I remember."

Relena gave her thanks to the puzzled man and ran off.

"What?" The man was still scratching his head when he returned to his car.

TBC

Thanks for your reviews as always: Morrighan, YUIAyuNamieUtada, Purdy, Marli8907, theevilashleyness, Mystic Jade, kar00, WindCloud, BurgAndy3721, Alaskantiger, yuya otaku, Serena73, zero0001, Pip-2250, EmpKaylenatye, Blue September Rain, mischka, Mystic Jade, Amulak, and flipped.


	17. Curse of Knowing

Identity Lost

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

Seventeen – Curse of Knowing

_The tongue like a sharp knife... Kills without drawing blood._

Relena kept running, this time not out of frustration but elation. She knew who she was. Née Relena Peacecraft, raised as Relena Darlian; such a simple statement but loaded with so much history. The people she encountered in her life, she recalled all their names as if they were never missing. She could recall all the places she'd been, the major events of her life. Everything came rushing back to her with such crystal clarity that she even questioned whether they were ever missing and she only needed to remember the past 10 years of her life to remind her that the nightmare was a real one.

Her legs screamed for her to stop but she continued the quick pace out of fear that the memories she recovered would disappear again. Relena panted so hard that she thought she'd die from the lack of air and she couldn't be happier. When her lungs and knees couldn't take anymore, she finally stopped and breathed deeply, waiting for her heart rate to return to its steady tempo.

Out of her peripheral vision, she noticed her reflection on the storefront window and became mesmerized by her face. Relena turned to the faint image and traced the contours of her face with one hand; her warm cheeks, her nose, her lips. After waiting patiently for a tiresome decade, she wasn't haunted by the image her reflection portrayed. She smiled to the woman staring back at her.

But now what? Her sudden smile vanished just as quickly as the question was asked. _Now what?_

So many issues remained to be resolved like why was Jezzie impersonating someone she clearly wasn't? Why had she been lied to all these years from her supposed parents? And Heero…

"Oh my god, Heero." She whispered. She needed to tell him, now.

Relena raised her right hand to the street and yelled, "Taxi!"

* * *

The cab pulled up to Heero's apartment, she handed the driver the fare but didn't leave the backseat. 

"So, you gonna leave any time soon or you just like the smell of my cab?" The overweight, balding man asked.

She looked at him briefly and eyed the brick building that was darkened with age and pollution. Relena sighed softly, not sure she was ready to face Heero yet.

"Look, if you want me to take you somewhere else, just name the place."

"No," She replied quickly. "Thanks for the ride." The door handle pulled out easily and she soon found herself standing alone on the pavement. The taxi took off, leaving nothing but a trail of dust and exhaust fumes behind her.

Relena took a deep lungful of air and approached the main entrance. She marched up the three flights of stairs, too anxious to wait for the elevator, and walked quietly down the corridor to his front door, almost afraid of making her presence known.

Before having any further doubts, she knocked gently three times and waited. And waited. Strange, he wasn't coming to the door. She tried knocking again, slightly louder this time and held her breath.

Relena waited. Still waited. Nothing. Not even a sound from the other side of the door.

"Heero…" She sighed and leaned against the doorframe. He wasn't home but that wasn't going to stop her. She needed someone to listen.

"Milliardo." Relena said, with renewed purpose.

* * *

By the time she hailed another taxi, reached the security gate of the estate, she felt exhausted in more ways than one. After dealing through the whirlwind of emotions with the recovery of her past and what seemed like endless traveling around the city, she was physically and emotionally drained. 

She pressed the intercom and asked to speak to Milliardo Peacecraft.

"I'm sorry but Mr. Peacecraft is unavailable." The voice sounded flat and uninterested.

"Please, it is urgent. Tell him… Relena is looking for him." She urged.

There was a pause over the line and the voice returned. "We don't admit trespassers onto the premises. Please leave or the police will be called." The man over the intercom spoke with an air of indifference but she clearly heard the hidden threat in his tone.

She wouldn't be deterred and pressed the speaker button once again. "I must speak with him. I am not leaving until I do."

Tiny droplets of water kissed her face and pelted the rest of her body. Relena looked up to the sky and felt the early signs of heavy rainfall. Her clothes began to absorb the rain and stick to her like a second skin. Her dyed jet-black hair clung to her face and neck as if she just came out of a shower but none of that mattered. She waited patiently for a response from the gatekeeper and she would continue holding her ground until the metal bars opened.

Seconds flew by; minutes passed and the intercom didn't even give off electrical static to acknowledge her presence. The rain was coming down harder, faster now and the temperature began to drop. With the overcast cloud cover overhead and the setting of the sun, it was only a matter of time before it became dark.

"I must speak with Milliardo." Relena repeated, her teeth chattering from being soaked through to the bone. The black rain was unrelenting.

It took another hour of pleading with the electric box and shivering before the gate was unlocked from a remote tower and swung open from its creaky hinges.

Her arms and feet were numb but she moved onward and didn't stop until she walked up to the door, the same door that greeted her for the first time as Mima Kanzaki. Before she rang the doorbell, the door opened automatically by a woman dressed in a black and white uniform, it was Isabel. She remembered the compassionate maid from her previous visit.

"Isabel, it's nice to see you again." Relena said as she walked into the warmth of the room. She was still shaking uncontrollably and tried to conceal that fact by wrapping her arms around her stomach.

"Mima? What do you think you're doing?" She asked as soon as the door was closed and locked. "You're soaking wet! What were you thinking?" Isabel eyed her from head to foot and shook her head at the young woman's lack of sense.

Relena was too tired and cold to correct Isabel's mistake in calling her by the wrong name. She didn't want to be called by that name, not again; it felt wrong.

"Isabel, I'm sorry for tracking water in." She started, not even sure why she mentioned the water. Her thoughts must have been more frazzled than she thought. "Please, I need to speak to Milliardo. Now." Relena was still shaking. Why couldn't she stop shaking?

Isabel tsked out loud and replied, "At least let me get you a towel to dry off. Then I'll take you to him."

"Now." Relena said, more forcefully.

An awkward silence passed and then Isabel replied. "Very well, then. This way." The maid led her down the spacious corridor and opened the third door on the right into Milliardo's study.

"Sir, Mima's here to see you." Isabel led Relena in soon after making the announcement and closed the door on her way out, leaving the two alone.

He stayed seated behind his desk and stared intently at her. Under his careful scrutiny, Relena couldn't help breaking their eye contact and she used the time to take in the room that seemed so familiar to her and yet so foreign.

The window behind Milliardo's desk faced the dreary bleakness of the storm behind his solid frame and she saw nothing but a sheet of gray through the Venetian blinds. Only the desk lamp on the table provided any luminescence in the study and unfortunately shadows overpowered light. Relena grew nervous that she couldn't see his face, not entirely, and she wished she could cast the shadows out. Her eyes returned to the man that was her brother and his eyes never wavered from hers.

Finally breaking the silence, he said, "So, Mima, what was it that you needed?"

She cringed at the name. "I…" Now that she was here, she didn't know where to begin, what to say.

"From what I understand," Milliardo cut in, "you mentioned that Relena was looking for me but I don't see Relena here. Do you?"

The words suddenly came to her, out of desperation. "The woman you know as Relena, is not your sister at all. She is an imposter."

He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the polished wooden surface. "You sound so sure. We have blood test results proving otherwise. What sort of proof do you have?"

Of course he was right. She only carried the past with her and Relena's past was as intangible as a concept like love. She asked softly. "Milliardo, don't you recognize me?"

He sighed and asked a question of his own. "Why are you playing these games, Mima? Haven't you caused enough trouble the last time you were here?"

She shook her head. "That's not my name. I'm Relena!" She gasped at her own outburst.

"You?" He asked, taken aback by her remark. "You think you're Relena?"

"Do you remember when we were on Libra? You said the earth only seemed beautiful because we had the chance to see it like this from out of space."

"What do you know of Libra?" He asked carefully. Not many knew the specifics of the war, least of all his involvement with White Fang.

She closed her eyes as she remembered that exact moment in the cockpit of Libra. "You hugged me then," she went on. "And that was the only embrace I'd get from my real brother."

Milliardo looked sad then. The past was suddenly catching up to him as well and it seemed like an intrusion more than a welcoming reminiscence

As the words flowed out of her mouth, she couldn't seem to stop. "You said that I've grown up strong and you wanted at least for me to remain a kind woman. I'm afraid I haven't been able to fulfill either of those wishes. After the accident, I've become weak, timid, erasing my former self. I am a mere fragment of who I used to be."

He stood up from his seat and his hard eyes were on her once again, trying to dissect her thoughts, her motives. What he saw before him was a frustrated young woman, wet, and not herself. Her delusions were entertaining at best and he had neither the time nor the patience to dance with her around this issue.

Milliardo breathed deeply before replying, "That's a good act. Quite impressive actually. I'm sure Relena mentioned those things to you when you were living together and it's disturbing to see you use her stories against her."

"No." Relena said breathlessly. "No, you're wrong, Milliardo."

"Relena, please come here." He said, looking to the side door of the study. The door slid open easily and Jezzie approached him with Heero following not too far behind.

No wonder Heero wasn't home when she went earlier. It didn't surprise her that Heero was with Jezzie. Relena knew she was outnumbered and outmatched. The two newcomers must have overheard their conversation.

"You warned us this would happen, Relena." Milliardo looked at Jezzie.

"Yes, it's all very sad. Mima, why are you hurting me like this?" She asked.

Relena started to shake again, this time with an extreme spell of anger that she never knew she could carry. "Jezzie, I remember everything. Stop this foolish game and tell them!"

Jezzie revealed a hint of nervousness and quickly recovered with her next lie. "Brother, she's upsetting me. If she wants to be in my place, then I'll just go. I don't want this sort of confrontation anymore. She scares me. Remember when she almost poisoned me?"

Relena only shook her head at Jezzie's fearless determination to pretend to be someone she wasn't.

Milliardo pulled Jezzie's shoulder close to him and said, "You're my sister and you're not going anywhere."

Relena took a few steps forward to plead with Milliardo but Heero stepped between them.

"Heero, take Ms. Mima Kanzaki off the premises. We're done here." Milliardo ordered curtly.

The perfect soldier gently placed his hands Relena's shoulders and tried to turn her towards the door but she resisted. "Milliardo!" Relena shouted. "_Please try to make it through all this alive._ You said that on Libra before it was destroyed. Remember? I did survive, then. But I don't think I can make it through this."

Tears were streaming down her face and she couldn't stop the pain that was eating away at her spirit. "Milliardo!"

"Mima, stop this." Heero whispered as he pulled her arm to leave the room. Finally she relented and allowed him to escort her to the main entrance. He noticed that she was soaked through and the rain hadn't ceased its attack on earth from the obvious pounding on the roof and windows. Nothing was said as they made the short track to the front door. "Let me take you home, Mima."

"Don't call me that." She said, wounded. The tears were still cascading down her flushed cheeks. Relena felt so tired with everything and twisted her arm away from his grasp as her only retaliation to maintain some level of control.

They were by the foot of the door now and Heero hesitated to reach for the door handle. "Why are you doing this? Why stir up all this trouble, Mima? You knew it would've never worked. Is it envy that you're feeling? Jealousy?"

She only laughed through her tears and said nothing. Relena brushed away her tears with her right hand and looked at Heero for the first time that night. "Heero, life isn't fair, is it?"

He stared at her, serious. "Mima, you can't come back here. The next time you do, I have no choice but to arrest you."

She nodded slowly. "I understand." Before she lost the chance to touch him one last time, she quickly wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him. Relena closed her eyes and tried to remember every sensation, each curve of his body, and the faint scent that clung to him. It didn't matter that he stood stone still and didn't touch her.

Relena finally stepped back and saw how he avoided her gaze. The rejection from the two men that night was too much to bear. If an individual could die of heartache, she thought this must be what it felt like. She had never felt so low in her life. With both hands, she reached behind her neck and unclasped the necklace. She grabbed Heero's hand, placed the platinum dove in his palm then pushed his fingers closed over the keepsake. The door opened silently and she was gone.

"No, life isn't fair at all." Heero replied to the empty foyer. Minutes passed before he was able to breathe again. He opened his left hand to see what she dropped and his irises expanded in utter shock from the object he held. "But how?"

His feet took him to Relena's room and he didn't wait for propriety before entering and confronting the woman.

"Relena, have you retrieved your necklace yet? It should've returned by now."

She quickly sat up from her lounge chair and said. "Yes, I got it back just two days ago."

Heero maintained his calm and asked, "May I see it?"

"Uh, you know the thing is, they couldn't fix it so I just threw it away."

He held the necklace even tighter in his grasp. "I see. I'm sorry I bothered you."

Heero returned to his room and placed the necklace carefully on his dresser. Something was wrong. It didn't make any sense for Relena to lie about the necklace. He needed to find out the truth once and for all and he knew where to begin looking.

* * *

Relena dragged herself up to her apartment and stripped down to her skin as soon as the door was closed. It felt good to finally remove the chilling clothes before she caught pneumonia. She turned on the shower faucet and soaked her entire body with scalding water. The shivering ceased immediately and she wished the constant stream of water could wash away her suffering just as easily. 

As soon as she finished drying off, she wrapped a towel effortlessly around her chest and made her way to the kitchen to brew a cup of tea. The water came to a fast boil and she carried the mug to the couch. They were mundane actions, routine behavior to settle her nerves.

_How did everything go so wrong so quickly? _She wondered.

She brushed her fingers through her wet hair and recounted the moment with Milliardo. In her excitement and haste, she really didn't think it through. Now looking back, she wouldn't have even believed herself. She must have sounded hysterical.

A sudden ring from the telephone interrupted her thoughts and she debated whether to answer it or not. She chose the latter and let it continue ringing. Tonight was not a good night for making conversation with anyone. The answering machine picked up but the caller didn't leave a message. It was just as well, she thought.

She laid down on the couch and rested an arm across her eyes. She was hurting. The denial from her own brother was too much, like daggers piercing her flesh. And Heero's reluctance to accept other plausible scenarios only exacerbated her pain. Maybe there was no way of going back. If they assumed that Relena had been returned to them, perhaps it was best that they would be able to live with the assurance that Relena is safe and back in their lives. As long as they thought Relena was alive, maybe that was enough.

The problem was how was she going to survive knowing that her life was stripped away from her and that she couldn't be around those she loved, the greatest sacrifice she would make.

"But there's no other way." Relena said. "There is no other alternative."

She thought long and hard through the entire night, confirming that her decision to not tackle the issue any longer was the right one. Every scenario was carefully played out through her mind if she were to take certain actions over others and none of them ended well. And under her own selfish pretenses, she knew she couldn't handle another scene with Milliardo or Heero again. It would crush her. But should the opportunity arise for her to reclaim her life again, she was more than willing to fight for it.

As the early crack of dawn made its appearance on the horizon, Relena prepared to get ready for the day. "Mima Kanzaki, let's make the most out of this life."

* * *

Heero Yuy approached Preventers Headquarters and walked straight into Sally Po's office. Enough time had already been wasted with this case. 

"Thank you for seeing me at such short notice, Sally."

She motioned him to have a seat in one of the visitor chairs and said that it wasn't a problem. "You sounded urgent on the phone."

"Regarding Relena's blood test that you conducted, could you tell me the process that was performed?" He began, choosing not to sit down.

Sally's surprised expression told Heero that she wasn't expecting this line of questioning. "The blood test? Sure, I could show you the facilities, if you'd like. Come with me." She stood and led him out of the office.

The next room they visited was a laboratory in the lower levels of the building. It was a typical lab comprised of the intricate pipes and faucets growing on the countertops. Test tubes lined the walls and all the latest equipment in R&D lay in abundance in the room. Four men dressed in bleach white lab coats worked meticulously on their assigned projects and only gave a brief nod to Sally Po before returning to their work.

Sally showed Heero the tools and machines used to label the blood sample. "These two solutions here," She began by holding a liquid that looked baby blue and another that looked bright yellow. "We place two droplets of the blood on a glass slide and mix each solution – the blue and yellow onto each drop accordingly. The color change and the unique shapes that are formed once the mixing is done provide a simple preliminary result as to whether the person has A, B, O, or AB type blood."

Heero nodded as Dr. Po did a short demonstration with a test tube filled with a donor's blood.

"From then on, the process gets a bit more complicated." She went on telling him the process for DNA mapping and sequencing to find the particular 'print' for that individual. Lots of medical terms and jargon were thrown at him and he absorbed every word like a sponge.

Sally gave a straightforward analogy and said. "The compounds found in our blood, specifically the DNA that we extract from the sample, are as unique as a fingerprint. There are no two DNA samples alike. Not even if you're related. So, the test is a sure way of identifying the person, say, for criminal charges or for finding next of kin."

"But you just said that they are unique. How can you determine whether one person is in fact related to the other?" Heero asked.

"Right. They're unique but family members have very similar patterns in the DNA sequencing, so similar as to which we can safely say that the people involved are related."

He looked around the bland white room and thought of any other reason for the blood test to backfire. "And there's no possibility of any errors derived from these tests? A misinterpretation of the results?"

"Well, human error is always possible, Heero. But in Relena's case, we even compared it to her actual blood sample before she went missing. We had it stored years ago right after the war. It was a perfect match. As I said, no two humans have the same DNA pattern. The results couldn't have been wrong."

Sally Po walked to the metallic doors at the end of the room and opened the fridge-encased walls to retrieve a test tube from the neatly labeled shelves. She held up a sample still half full of red fluid and showed Heero. "This is Relena's sample that I took just recently."

He reached for the glass as Sally handed it to him and it still felt chilled from the cool temperature in the fridge. "This is the sample that was used for the test?" He asked.

Sally nodded and looked slightly concerned. "Heero, what's all this about? Why are you asking these questions?"

He held the test tube up to his eye and rotated the cylindrical container to see if the blood could provide any further insight. "What's this?" Heero pointed to faint etchings of a strain of numbers and letters running close to the lid of the tube. A4-3013 was labeled on the glass. They were extremely tiny and he knew they would have remained hidden under an untrained eye.

Sally peered closer and narrowed her eyes to focus on what Heero was looking at. "Oh, that." She replied. "Serial numbers. The manufacturing company who supplies the tubes to Preventers marks them to keep track of their inventory numbers, and ours, I guess. But… that can't be right."

"What can't be right?"

"A4-3013. That serial number's wrong. The ones we get are usually labeled A1-2039. I've never seen A4 before."

Heero's attention was suddenly aroused by this new development. "Sally, are you sure about that?

She nodded once and reached for several new test tubes still sitting in the manufacturer's box. Surely enough, they were all labeled A1-2039. Heero compared Relena's test tube with the others that Preventers used and they looked like exact duplicates aside from the serial numbers.

"This is important, Sally. Was the blood test done here?"

"Yes, of course. Relena came in and I withdrew the blood myself. I don't understand." She shook her head in confusion.

"I do." Heero said softly. "A switch has been made."

TBC

Some thank you's are in order: Purdy, theevilashleyness, Koori Youkai Hime, kar00, WindCloud, Alikko, Beast of Prey, lilac310, mischka, jellybean-kitty, Lena, YUIAyuNamieUtada, SerenityDeath, C, Alaskantiger, flipped, animechick2487, Marli8907, darkfairy88, and Jana villarama.

Marli: Thanks for your kind words! They really mean a lot to me and thanks for being so understanding that I haven't been able to update sooner. But hopefully this latest installment was put up fast enough for ya!


	18. Changes

Identity Lost

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

Eighteen – Changes

_All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. Anatole France_

Relena returned to work after her brief but straining vacation and things were exactly as she left it. The usual torrent of customers was as expected, her co-workers were busily hustling around the bar as before and she welcomed the familiarity with open arms.

"Look who's decided to grace us with her presence? It's been a zoo here without you. Now that you're back, you can cover my slack." Catarina Strathmore teased as she gave a gentle nudge before running off to another table.

"Missed you, too." Relena smiled.

The shift ended at 2am and she was ready to turn it in. She only saw Samantha briefly behind the cash register as she served a tray full of beer. For the rest of the night, her _mother_ was nowhere in sight and she didn't even recall seeing Harry since her return to work.

As she was changing out of her uniform in the staff room, she didn't know how she would continue to be as ignorant of her adoptive parents as before. Every look, every word they exchanged with her would be a lie. She closed her locker and plumped down on the bench. How was she going to deal with Samantha and Harry?

What purpose would be served if she confronted them about their deceit? It wouldn't bring her any closer to recovering everything that she had lost but it might help her rid of some demons that continued to haunt her. With her mind made up, she grabbed her purse and headed out to have a long overdue conversation with the people she called mother and father.

The lateness of the hour compelled most of the patrons to head home and only a few men were left reaching for their coats to leave. Servers began to clean the counters and overturn the chairs onto the wooden tables, their four legs pointing skyward. Relena walked around Joe Radcliffe who was mopping the beer and peanut shells off the ground.

"Heading home, Mima?" Joe inquired.

"Not yet. I'm looking for… my mother." She paused for a moment, unsure of what to call Samantha now and thought it was best not to confuse anymore people. Better to continue letting everyone believe that they were still her parents. "Do you know where she is?"

"Back office." He tilted his head in the direction he was implying and returned his attention to the floor.

"Thanks."

Her pace slowed as she neared the door to the manager's office and when she stood a mere foot from the entryway her right hand lingered on the doorknob, pensive. Relena thought back to the day's events and wondered if it would've been better if she approached Samantha in a more public setting but clearly that was impossible since it felt as if Samantha was going to great lengths to avoid her. Maybe she was thinking too much. She just needed to get this over with.

"No more stalling." Relena breathed and made three light taps on the door and turned the knob.

"Sorry to interrupt," she began. "But I needed to speak with you." She opened the door wider and noticed both Harry and Samantha going over a book ledger with what she assumed was the last month's capital gains and losses. The moment they heard and saw her walk in, they both stared like wild animals lost in headlights.

"We're busy right now. Talk to us later." Samantha replied tartly.

"It's important." She countered.

Harry removed his reading glasses and motioned for Relena to sit down before Samantha had the opportunity to refuse her again.

"Don't mind your mother. She's in one of her foul moods." He apologized.

Unsure whether she should do this standing up or not, she chose the latter and gently sat down across from them.

"Remember about my accident all those years ago?" She began.

Samantha immediately interrupted, without an ounce of patience. "Not this again. We've already gone through this a thousand times. There wasn't anything we could do. You always rode so fast on that damn bike of yours and…"

"I remember." Relena announced simply. The mood of the room suddenly shifted from one of dormant hostility to abject fear of discovery. They seemed unwilling to speak after her confession and it only fueled her frustration and apprehension. "Don't you have anything to say?"

Harry sighed softly and hung his head downward, defeated. Samantha merely stared at her, defiant till the very end.

"That night, I remember nothing after crossing the street. You were the ones who ran into me, weren't you?"

"Mima, we didn't mean you any harm. Things happened so fast and before we knew it, we were keeping you with us." Harry explained softly, still avoiding Relena's gaze. "And when we found out you were Relena Darlian, we nearly had a heart attack. By that point, we were so consumed by fear. We couldn't hand you over to the authorities by that point, especially when you couldn't even remember who you were."

She absorbed everything he said and no matter how hard she wanted to hate them, she felt a surprising calm wash over her. After living with Samantha and Harry for a good number of years, their motives on that fateful night seemed to be a novel example of the type of people they were: cowardly, fearful of the authorities, and never owning up to their mistakes. These were the very people who kept her away from the ones she loved and yet, she understood them. Understanding didn't necessarily allow her to forgive them for the decisions that they made but she slowly came to accept things as how they are. Otherwise, she'd be driven to depression with everything that she couldn't control in life.

Relena refocused her thoughts back on Harry as he continued explaining what they went through that night and why they decided against taking her to the hospital, despite their better sense of judgment. For the first time since she knew them, Harry was the one doing all the talking while Samantha sulked quietly next to him. In fact, she couldn't remember him ever speaking so many sentences in one breath.

"… but it's different now." Harry went on. "You've regained your memories and everything will be fine again."

"No, I'm afraid it won't." Relena said softly.

He looked hurt and said, "I know we didn't do right by you all these years and I've always regretted our decision when we didn't get you medical help. Your condition could've easily turned for the worse and… and I don't want to even think what might've happened if you didn't regain consciousness."

Relena shook her head and replied, "That's not what I mean. I never realized you harbored so much guilt all these years and justifiably so. What I meant was I can't go back. Jezzie had convinced everyone that she is Relena Darlian and nothing could prove otherwise." She spent the next ten minutes explaining recent events, listing all of Jezzie's schemes that she discovered, only too late to do anything about it. Her adoptive parents sat stunned to silence through her narrative.

Then another thought came to mind and she asked, "Was this your plan all along? To put Jezzie in my place? You knew how much we looked alike and…"

Harry adamantly rejected that notion. "We never even knew who you were. I didn't even know how crass Jezzie had become and would never have imagined her to pull a stunt like this. Do you know anything about this, Sam?"

Instead of responding, she stood up and simply left the room.

* * *

"How could you be so indiscreet?" Samantha nearly hollered into the phone.

"Nice to hear from you too, mom." Jezzie sounded bored. Samantha was renowned for over-exaggeration and she had better things to do than listening to her mother's tirade.

"She remembers, alright? Relena remembers everything." Samantha heard a surprised gasp from the other end of the line and was glad the seriousness of the situation was finally getting through her daughter's thick-headed skull.

"This time you've gone too far." She continued her lecture despite the uselessness of her words. "This has been the riskiest stunt you've pulled and I don't think I can help you out of this one."

Jezzie's heart skipped a beat and her panic gradually faded when she remembered one vital piece of information. "Mom, I've already discredited her to those who matter. They all believe she's a nutcase. The indisputable DNA evidence was all I needed to ensure my stay here."

"Do you think this is still a game? Jezzie, what you're doing is criminal. You've had your fun so I suggest you pack it in and get out now."

"But…"

"Now! Do you understand me?" Samantha hung up the phone harshly, hoping that her threat was registered.

* * *

The autumn crisp air felt chilly but she welcomed the cold to sooth her heated mind. Relena didn't think she'd be as laid back when confronting Harry and Samantha but she felt some form of closure when she poured her heart out. Her adopted father seemed unusually sympathetic and apologetic but Samantha remained as insensitive and indifferent. In fact, she felt an accusatory glare from her mother of ten years; a glare which spoke volumes, blaming her presence for their unfortunate shortcomings.

The sun was soon falling past the horizon and the street lights flickered on. Weaving her way through other pedestrians, she thought long and hard about what her next move should be. One thing was certain, she couldn't return to work at Hieronymous. After her brief confrontation with Harry and Samantha, she refused to work in an environment where the risk of losing her sense and common judgment were high. It would be far too awkward and she could do without the incessant reminder of who was responsible for the drastic shift in her life. Relena reasoned that the only way for her to put everything behind her was to leave, leave everyone and everything. A change would be good for her. By the time she made it back to the apartment she took a quick perusal of her home and sadly noticed that she didn't have that many personal items she needed to pack up. But that also made her job easier to move. Relena hoped that Harry was still at work so that she could break the news to him.

She systematically dialed the number for the back office and was relieved when Harry picked up the phone.

"Hi, dad."

"Mima… I mean, Relena… I…." The man stuttered.

She could clearly hear his struggle and she cut in before things became even more awkward. "Mima is fine. I'm still the same person I was a year ago."

"Yes, of course." Harry replied softly, unconvinced. "Is anything the matter?"

"No, uh." She paused, suddenly finding herself struggling with her words as well. "I don't think I will be able to return to work. After all that has happened, I'm sure you understand why."

When he remained silent, she continued, "I'll stay for another week or two for you to find someone." He still didn't respond and she thought she may be stirring up more trouble for the restaurant than she anticipated. The recent shortage of labor may prevent them from finding a replacement any time soon.

"Or if it takes longer, I wouldn't mind staying until someone is found to fill my position. I could even help with the hiring and ask around if there's anybody…"

"Mima, I'm not concerned about that." He interrupted. "I'm concerned about you. All these years, it felt as if you were a second daughter to me and I'd hate to see you go."

Relena stopped herself before protesting and tried to think of a way to be diplomatic about the situation. Before she had a chance to respond, Harry broke the pregnant pause and said, "You don't need to come back here, Mima. Consider tonight your last shift. We'll handle it."

"Are you sure?"

"This will probably be the only decision that I made right by you." He concluded with a few encouraging words, bid farewell and hung up. It was probably one of the few moments where Harry showed genuine remorse and affection.

Relena placed the handle back on the receiver and as she was just about to head into her bedroom, the ringing phone resonated through the apartment walls and she ran to pick it up again.

"Dad, I'm glad you called back. There was something I wanted to…"

It wasn't Harry. A raspy voice flowed through her earpiece and whispered, "soon, soon."

* * *

Days passed and the frightening phone call still had her shaken. It couldn't have been a coincidence with all the strange calls and messages that were left on her machine. Now she not only had her past to abandon but she was hoping that the unknown threat against her would be left behind as well. Relena already began preparations to leave by informing the landlord that she was moving, cancelling all her major bills in the apartment, and donating furniture to charities and shelters that she obviously wasn't going to bring with her.

Half of her bookshelf was already cleared away and as she worked her way through the other half, she found the novel that Connor bought for her. The memory only stirred unpleasant emotions from the day before when she had to break up with him. If she wanted a clean slate, she had to leave all ties behind and that included the brief relationship that they had.

"Why this sudden change? Why are you even leaving? I don't understand any of it." Connor sounded like a petulant child.

"I need to do this for myself. It has nothing to do with you." She explained softly. "All my life there has been a void that I couldn't fill and I believe the only way to feel whole again is to start over – no strings, no connections."

When they parted company, he wouldn't even look her in the eye. He quickly grabbed his jacket and left the coffee shop without turning back. That was probably the last time she would ever see Connor Striker.

Relena mentally brushed away the scene from yesterday and put the novel on her empty coffee table and decided to keep it. She thought it was too bad that she wasn't as dedicated to their relationship as he was. For obvious reasons she knew Connor wasn't the right man for her. Sure, he was attentive and caring but she didn't feel that spark with him as she did with a certain Gundam pilot and she refused to trail her thoughts down that dangerous path.

She wouldn't forget how upset he seemed but to be fair, they weren't together for that long and it was probably for the best to break it off sooner rather than later. It wouldn't be right for him to cling to false hopes when she knew nothing serious would come of their relationship.

A gentle rapping came from the door and Relena went to see if it was the moving company here to pick up the remaining furniture items. When she opened the door only a few inches wide, the person on the other side pushed open the wooden barrier, catching her by surprise and knocking her off balance. Relena tried standing up but the intruder straddled his entire weight over her and she couldn't move.

They were both struggling to get the upper hand with arms and legs flailing whichever way she could maneuver to get out from his grasp. The light from the hallway was seeping in and she began screaming for help, praying that someone passing by will hear her. She wasn't able to get much noise out of her lungs before a strong hand holding a strongly scented cloth to her mouth and nose. Chloroform.

From the fall, she was facing the tiled ground and didn't have the slightest opportunity to move. As the chemicals slowly worked its way into her brain she wished she could look at the eyes of her attacker and remember his face. Before turning her thoughts into action, her vision was soon engulfed in black.

* * *

Heero held on tightly to Relena's necklace as he contemplated everything that has been going on. It took him long days and nights to piece together all the events surrounding Relena's reappearance and Mima's involvement in the situation. He didn't want to believe that the person living in the Peacecraft Estate was not who they thought but the mounting evidence proved otherwise. They were all deceived and the worst of the tragedy was that the real Relena was right under their noses the entire time and he refused to see. He refused to see! Maybe he didn't want to see the truth for whatever reason that he couldn't fathom.

Her dove necklace seemed to be the only object to which she would sacrifice her very life for. Even with the memory loss she still felt such a strong attachment for its sentimental value. And her determination to search for her necklace on that terrible night would never escape his mind. Thinking about that very night boiled his blood with anger. Relena may not have survived if he didn't happen to walk down that street at that specific time; she would've suffered the worst crime imaginable to a woman.

The necklace was then retrieved by the imposter and the rest as the saying goes was history.

There were so many other signs: her abhorrence towards drinking alcohol, the supposed sesame seed fiasco when their Relena had no pre-existing allergies, Pagan's outrage when he learned the truth and when they didn't bother to listen. Why didn't they listen?

The blood test was ultimately the deciding factor and all logic was thrown aside when the results showed a positive match. They were too eager to believe. He was too eager to have Relena back and was therefore blinded by false appearances.

Thinking back on the night of the sesame seeds incident, he almost killed her. He remembered being incredibly irrational. As he recollected the harsh words and violence he used, he couldn't believe that was the same person as the Perfect Soldier who was trained to be calm and prepared to work through all circumstances. "Relena, how could I ever face you?" Heero asked the empty apartment. He had wronged her so terribly that it was eating him inside out. The sudden realization of how much he'd hurt her was too much to bear and he hungered for just one drop of alcohol to sooth his nerves. He quickly found his secret beer stash and nearly salivated from the hissing sound of the carbon bubbles escaping when he flipped open the tab. His right hand shook uncontrollably as it held the can. Before he had any second thoughts, he sprinted to the kitchen sink and poured the beer down the drain.

He was losing his mind. For once the Perfect Soldier was utterly out of control. He needed to find her not only to save her but to save himself. Heero knew he couldn't bear to live with himself if he didn't find Relena. He wanted to hold her and never let her go. The imposter would be dealt with later on but finding Relena was a must.

Heero threw the empty can into the recycle bin and dashed out the door.

"I'm coming, Relena. Wait for me."

TBC

Thank you for your continued support and your patience! ... theevilashleyness, Purdy, WindCloud, Marli8907, kar00, flipped, C, SerenityDeath, mishcka, animechick2487, YUIAyuNamieUtada, lilac310, jellybean-kitty, Amulak, Crazy Lady, Mysticjade, NoNameReviewer, Laserworm, EmpKaylenatye, lolo93, C - sorry it took me a while to update, blissful trinity, Archangel Rhapsody, Anivea, salimaran, Ria, Hellody, orangestory08.


	19. The End of the Search

Identity Lost

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

Nineteen – The End of the Search

_Only when you are lost can love find itself in you without losing its way._

Relena slowly woke to a throbbing headache. She tried to feel her forehead but only to discover that both hands were tied behind her back against a metal poll. The concrete ground she was sitting on chilled her and the cool, stagnant air only made it worse. Looking around she saw a small wooden stool nearby that summed up all the furniture in the dark room. No traces of any light were noticeable aside from a bright, thin glow peeking underneath the doorframe. The door seemed as if it was suspended in midair but then she noticed the flight of stairs leading up to it. Further inspecting her surroundings, there were two darkly painted windows on either side of her that only confirmed where she thought she was being held captive – an unfinished basement.

It took less than a minute to get her bearings straight and she was already sick of it. Now the next step was to wiggle out of the rope. The man who tied and knotted the damn thing knew what he was doing. There was not the slightest amount of give and the more she struggled, the tighter the rope felt on her delicate skin. She only pushed and pulled even more but it didn't do much to help her situation. Her biceps felt strained and her arms turned numb from her effort.

"Breathe, Relena." She announced to the empty space as she panted and grew short of breath from her struggles. The last thing she needed was to panic.

"You'll get through this. You've been through worse. Now think!" She took three deep breaths and focused on the rope again by angling her arms and wrists in other untried positions.

With a few more tugs and pulls, she heard distant thumping from above and froze on the spot. Like the incessant ticking of a metronome, the footsteps crept closer to the other side of the door and she heard the clicking of a lock being opened. The light from the main floor suddenly washed in, temporarily blinding Relena as her irises adjusted.

Her abductor loomed underneath the doorframe; his appearance masked in shadow as the light behind him silhouetted his strong build. She knew he was staring at her by the way her skin broke out into goosebumps.

"Who are you?" Relena demanded, no longer able to maintain the silence.

"You're awake." The man stated the obvious. It was a strangely familiar voice, one that she had heard before but couldn't pinpoint where exactly.

"What do you want?" Relena hoped he would continue speaking so that she could dissect the voice and figure out who he was.

He gave a throaty laugh and said, "All in good time. You be a good girl now." Suddenly the door was closed with a gentle click. The latch on the lock was snapped back into place and she was swallowed by darkness once again.

Nobody knew where she was because they all assumed that she had moved. Nobody who mattered would be looking for her. She didn't even know if she could get herself out of this scrape and if she could, it would be one helluva miracle. Her mortality never looked as real as it did now and she was never more terrified for her survival.

* * *

It took no time at all to track down Relena's address; Mima's address to be more concise but he didn't want to deal with semantics right now. Heero headed to Preventer Headquarters and logged into the federal database that provided all the information the government had ever collected on its citizens: social security numbers, annual income, employer information, spending habits, and of course, their addresses. According to her previous tax claims, she lived with Harry, Samantha, and Jezzie Hieronymous. Jezzie… she was the one claiming to be Relena. He recalled all the times how simple it was for him to believe the lie and it sickened him.

With a few more keystrokes, he brought up Jezzie's birth certificate, the schools she was enrolled in since elementary, and other miscellaneous facts regarding her extra curricular activities. There was a plethora of information regarding Jezzie's true identity and unsurprisingly, Mima's paper trail only started 10 years ago. It seemed as if a citizen was created overnight. Incredible. And no one bothered to check this? More specifically, why didn't he even look into their backgrounds? There were enough injustices coming from him that could warrant self-loathing to last the next century.

He took snapshot photos in his memory of all the information regarding Relena's history over the last decade and easily memorized all the possible addresses to locate her. Once he felt he had all the information needed to find Relena, he shut down his terminal computer and threw his jacket on.

* * *

Minutes dragged into hours. Her wrists were bruised raw from working against the restraint and she was slowly losing strength. Relena tried to rotate her shoulders and moved her arms around as much as she could to keep her blood circulation flowing; she could already feel her joints stiffen from being locked in one position for too long. She leaned her head against the post and made every effort to stay awake but it felt like a losing battle. The main floor above her was eerily silent and she almost wished she could hear some form of noise to keep her thoughts active. Several more hours later, Relena was having a difficult time keeping her eyelids from closing and she eventually drifted off into a restless sleep.

* * *

The owners of the Restaurant and Pub, Hieronymous, were unsurprisingly reluctant to speak to him. With their curt, single word responses, Heero suspected they were hiding something and he didn't want to waste time interrogating them. There will be time later to conduct a full-fledged investigation but now, his only concern was to find Relena.

His next stop was the apartment. Standing in front of the apartment complex where she lived brought a painful realization of how close Relena was to them all and how they were oblivious to the fact. How many times had they canvassed this neighborhood and came up empty handed? He physically shook his head to ward off his negative train of thought and buzzed Relena's room. No one answered. Heero tried again and waited agonizing seconds for someone to be there. The intercom remained deathly mute and he decided to ring the landlord.

"Yes?" A gruff sounding voice boomed over the voicebox.

"Official police business, sir. I'm looking for Mima Kanzaki. She doesn't seem to be at home. Can I have you open her door for me?" Heero replied.

"Mima, you say? I'll be down in a few." Then the line went dead.

Heero was let in by a slightly overweight man in his fifties who had strong, hardened features. The landlord's name, Heero learned, was Gregory Steinbeck when he led him upstairs to Relena's apartment.

"What do the police want with Mima?" Steinbeck asked. "She's never been much trouble. In fact she's always been helpful to the other tenants and now she's moving away."

Steinbeck reached into his pocket to produce the master key and walked up to the correct door. "Moving away?" Heero inquired. "Do you know where she's going?"

The older man shrugged and pulled open the door to her apartment. "No clue. She didn't leave a forwarding address."

As they walked further into her room, it was clear that she was packing up and leaving for good. Several large cardboard boxes lined the walls in the living room and two fully loaded garbage bags were leaning against a closed door, which Heero assumed was a closet. Only a few larger furniture items remained with huge plastic covers spread over the sofas, double bed, and tables ready for transport. They took a quick tour around and the other rooms looked similar to the living room. It looked like someone was in the middle of moving in, or moving out.

"When did she say she was leaving?" Heero asked as he looked at the kitchen sink; it was completely bare and dry. The place looked undisturbed for at least a few days.

"Two days ago. That's the strange thing. I assumed she would've had this place all cleared out."

"Hmmm…."

"Well, uh… I really need to get some things done." The older man said. "Is it alright if I leave things here with you? I'll be up in about half an hour to lock up the apartment." Without waiting for Heero's response, he ambled his way out the door and left the former Gundam pilot to his own musings.

Glad to finally be alone, he made a closer inspection of her apartment to see if he could determine what happened to her. He saw three average-sized luggages and a purse sitting by the bedroom doorway. The purse was what caught his eye. Heero unzipped the charcoal black leather bag and found a cell phone where the battery had long since gone dead, car keys, chap-stick, and her wallet. It didn't take a genius to figure out something was really wrong here. She wouldn't have left without any money or identification. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a blinking red light – indicating that she had messages left on her phone. He hit the play button and waited for the two-second delay before the message started.

An older gentleman's voice rang through the speakers, "Hi, Mima. This is Joseph from the Mosaic Moving Company. I have my staff here on the main floor of the building today, March 30th, to move some furniture for ya but you don't seem to be home. Please give us a call to re-schedule the move. Thanks."

It wasn't typical of her to miss an appointment, especially one that she arranged. He could only recall how punctual Relena had always been before her 10-year disappearance and it goes without saying that Mima's behavior would be reminiscent of her former self. None of this made any sense!

"Relena, where are you?"

* * *

Three days had passed and he only offered her a few sips of water. She could only judge the passing of days by the number of times the tainted windows were hit by natural light trying to break into the darkness. As much as she wanted to stay awake, Relena kept dozing in and out of consciousness. Sometimes her mind would take her into the past where she was still with Milliardo and Heero and then reality would sink its ugly teeth back into her thoughts. Was the man drugging her water?

The few times her kidnapper came down into the basement to get some fluids into her, they had ceased any communication with each other. After all, what was the point? None of her questions were getting answered and she figured it was pointless trying to reason with a psychopath.

Relena could feel herself growing weaker as the days wore on and she was beginning to think that it was intentional. Whatever he had planned for her, he didn't want her to retaliate. This worried her greatly. When the time came, would she have enough strength in her to fight back, to escape? Clearly, she wasn't going to wait to find out.

"There's only one thing left to do…." Relena whispered.

She sat very still and slowed her breathing. The next time he came downstairs to check on her, she would be ready.

* * *

The man unlocked all three locks on the wooden door to get down to his prisoner. It was time to rehydrate his little pet. With his dark ski mask firmly in place, he briskly walked down the staircase to where the woman was lying. Fortunately, his plan didn't require much forethought or strategizing; take a few days, maybe a week, to starve her so she didn't have the strength to fight back for what he had in mind. He was looking forward to having his way with her and he'd make sure that she was aware of everything he was going to do to her.

As he gingerly walked down the steps he noticed the odd posture of her slumped form. Usually she was leaned against the metal post, looking defeated but she was crouched forward with her arms stretched far beyond her flexibility for it to be in a comfortable position. He urgently jumped off the last few steps to reach her. Something was very wrong.

As he crouched down beside her, he didn't even notice the water that stained his right pant leg when he dropped the plastic cup. Very carefully, he straightened her upper body so that she was leaning against the pole. As soon as he let go, gravity would set in once again and she'd fall forward.

"No…" He muttered. She couldn't be dead. He raced back up the stairs and in his haste he neglected to relock the door.

Relena mentally cursed herself for her bad luck. She thought that he would have released her from the ropes if he felt that he already lost his captive. Through sheer determination, she remained motionless and slowed her breathing even further to make it seem like she wasn't breathing at all. Her muscles screamed at her for being in the awkward position but she fought the pain. Relena refused to give up the only chance she had of escaping from this lunatic. She only wished she knew what he was doing upstairs. As the sounds of his approaching footsteps made its way down to the basement again, she hoped she could hold out a little bit longer.

The man rushed down the stairs and reached for the binds behind Relena. With her eyes still closed she didn't realize what he was doing until she felt her arms suddenly sprang free. She inwardly swallowed a groan of relief and remained ever so still and mute as she flopped down to the concrete floor as if she were a lifeless ragdoll. Relena assumed that in her captor's haste he didn't bother to check whether she still had a pulse or not and started to shake her violently.

"Not fair!" He cried petulantly. The force he exerted as he continued to shake her backwards and forwards was almost unbearable. He was squeezing her arms so hard that she fought back the urge to struggle or make a sound. By the time he exhausted himself, he threw her down and she crash-landed on her left shoulder. The pain of the impact made her see stars but she remained lifeless. Not long afterwards, he stomped back up the stairs in frustration.

Relena heard lots of noise from the main floor, a door opening and slamming shut, and finally the sound of a car's engine turning. Even though she knew the perpetrator had left, she was too afraid to move. Perhaps she was going into shock from the pain and the sheer trauma of the moment but she forced herself to get up. This may be the only chance she had of escaping. Very slowly, she picked herself up and refused to give in to her sore muscles; there would be plenty of time for rest when she got out of there. As her eyes adjusted to the light that crawled down the stairwell, she saw the door wide open. The door! It was open! Weakened but renewed with hope, she made her way to the bottom step to drag her way up. Her arms felt like dead weight on her as she took one tiresome step after the other. By the time she reached the top, she waited a few seconds to make sure there weren't anyone else in the vicinity. The last thing she needed was to be caught by his accomplice, if he even had one. She doubted if her kidnapper would make the same mistake again.

She waited longer still and when only silence greeted her, she ventured further onto the main floor. Relena didn't even bother taking inventory of what the place looked like; she ran for the main door and opened it without a moment's hesitation. Darkness engulfed her once again when she made her way down the porch to the road. She looked left then right. Vehicles were passing by sporadically. It must've been late in the evening but she didn't even know how late. Relena hid behind an aging tree that shielded most of her body and waited; she wasn't going to randomly flag down a car. Sure, she needed help but what if she brought the wrong sort of attention? She'd be right back to where she started, wouldn't she?

Relena heard footsteps drawing closer on the sidewalk and she fought the ongoing debate whether to approach the stranger or not. It didn't take long for the darkly clad figure to walk far past her and continue down the street. If she didn't run out to the individual, she may not have another chance. She decided to go for it…

She ran out and yelled, "Please, you have to help me."

* * *

Five days and there was still nothing. Heero had long since updated the other men regarding the situation, hoping that they could pull all their resources to find her. Day after day as the search came up empty handed, his frustration grew exponentially.

With all the documents carefully laid out, his office was a war zone. Maps were strewn across couches and tacked onto walls. Sectors within the city were divided up between the five former Gundam Pilots to speed up the search. They all agreed to wait until they have confirmation before informing Zechs of the whole matter. And by confirmation, they wanted to make sure they had Relena with them as proof for their bizarre story. It was also possible that Heero wanted to delay the inevitable because he could foresee the man's outrage in how everything went inextricably wrong.

He reviewed his notes for the fourteenth time when he heard pounding footsteps in the hall.

Duo Maxwell rushed into his office sounding out of breath. "Heero."

He looked up to see the man clearly frazzled and excited. "What is it?"

"We got something. A police radio frequency was picked up and they were sent to investigate a kidnapping." Duo explained as calmly as possible.

Heero sighed. "You know we don't have time to follow-up on a politician's missing son or daughter. Let the other divisions handle it."

"No, you don't get it." He continued, "This _is_ Relena. An ambulance took a female victim by the name of Mima Kanzaki to the hospital. Police are on the scene right now."

Heero didn't wait until he finished with his explanation. He was already to the door when he said, "explain in the car. Let's get to that hospital now."

TBC

Yeah, I know, folks… I've been very very VERY bad. I haven't updated in ages. I'm so sorry!!! Things have been hectic but the good news is that there should be one more chapter and then I'll be done this fic for good! It's just not fair to you for not updating in a timely manner and I'm afraid I don't have the time anymore for fanfic writing. =( This next installment will NOT take a year to be updated. I intend to have the conclusion up by the end of August at the latest. Thank you again for your constant support and patience, dear reader!

Thank YOU: theevilashleyness, flipped, jellybean-kitty, MyUnchainedMelody, YUIAyuNamietUtada, Purdy, Koori Youkai Hime, Amulak, WolfCry17, Alaskantiger, orangestory08, Marli8907, animechick2487, lilac310, salimaran, c, akatsuki-justice, blissful trinity, Geminia, Hellody, Adonis, Mystic Jade, 09'Cavallo, NightsMist, dancer443, and Tabs…. Holla!


	20. Looking Forward

Identity Lost

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its characters, I do not own.

Twenty – Looking Forward

"_He, who cannot forgive a trespass of malice to his enemy, has never yet tasted the most sublime enjoyment of love." - Johann Kaspar Lavater_

Heero clenched his fingers so tightly around the steering wheel that he thought he might rip the thing right out of the car. He vaguely recalled passing intersections but he wasn't sure whether the lights were red or green. Luckily it was two in the morning and the motorists were so sparse that Heero didn't need to worry about sharing the road.

"Uh, Heero, maybe try slowing down a bit?" Duo gripped the edge of his seat as he glanced at the odometer shooting 30 kilometers over the speed limit.

He only stepped on the gas pedal harder and said, "Start talking."

Duo finally relented and began, "I don't know all that much either. A thirty-eight year old gentleman was too drunk to drive home and decided to walk. He nearly peed his pants when someone jumped out of the shadows screaming she needed help. When he took a good look at the state she was in, and I mean she was bruised and dirtied and everything, he called the cops."

"Relena…" Heero whispered, almost in physical pain. As he made a sharp right down the next intersection, he looked at Duo briefly and asked, "What happened to her?"

"Dunno yet. I believe the police had just interviewed the guy who found her… or rather, she found him."

Heero turned into the visitor parking lot of St. Mary's Hospital and switched off the ignition. Duo was already out the door and waiting by the car when he noticed that Heero hadn't moved a muscle since turning off the engine.

He leaned down to see what was keeping him, "Heero, you alright?"

The former Perfect Soldier who never shied away from the battlefield was terrified to confront Relena. Despite the burning need to see her, to touch her, he couldn't meet her eye to eye after all the hurt and pain he had caused. How could he face her? How?

"Heero?" Duo sat back in his seat and waited. He could only imagine how difficult this must be for him and he had all the time in the world to wait.

"I… I can't do this." Heero said quietly. "Why don't you go in and see how she's doing? I'm going to talk to the police who are dealing with the case and see if I can piece everything together."

"Heero, come on!" Duo scoffed. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Out of all the men working round the clock to find her, they all knew how important this was to Heero.

"Duo, just go." Heero turned the ignition on and stared through the windshield, avoiding his partner's eyes. After all the years they have been working, fighting, and arguing together, Duo Maxwell probably knew the Japanese pilot better than anyone and he knew from those three simple words that he was dealing with a dead issue.

With a final sigh, Duo pulled his door open and walked to the hospital entrance.

It didn't faze Duo when the nurse at the admitting desk informed him that visiting hours were over. It was past three in the morning after all. He sighed and pulled out his Preventers ID. With one quick glance at the famous Preventers Crest the nurse fumbled over the flip chart to quickly locate which room Mima Kanzaki was in.

"Room 203, sir."

"Thank you. That wasn't so hard now, was it?" Duo replied with a quick wink.

When he reached the room all he could think about was how Heero should've been the one who was here. He was the one who never gave up hope on Relena when they had long since thrown in the towel. Somehow it didn't feel right for him to be present in this sensitive reunion of sorts. The room was dimply lit and it was obvious that the young woman lying on the bed was fast asleep. From the little that he could see, Relena was bandaged up on her arms and had a shoulder brace for her right shoulder. She looked much thinner than the last time he saw her and she was visibly peppered with dark bruises on her face and arms.

He whispered, "Relena, what happened to you?"

* * *

Heero didn't have much difficulty in getting a hold of the case that involved Relena. With the police report in hand, he was satisfied with his progress. He just concluded interviewing the two officers on duty who were the first on the scene and the ones who spoke with the witness. He knew he would also have to sit down with the man who called 911 for Relena but it didn't hurt to get the officers' perspective as well. It still boiled his blood to realize what Relena's been through; first the abduction from her apartment, then being held captive by the man who had yet to be apprehended. Heero needed to work as an individual completely removed from the situation or risk losing his head.

The case file #09-227484 had Mima Kanzaki as the complainant, Roger Liebman as the witness, and the offender was unknown. It was followed by a brief overview of Relena's account of what happened. She recalled packing to leave and opening her door when she was surprised by her attacker. Mima remembered struggling but she lost consciousness. The next thing she knew was being brought to the unknown location where she was held for several days. Everything minute detail she recollected about her capture and the way she escaped was recorded. The report concluded with two statements given by Relena herself and Roger Liebman.

The witness statement by Liebman was short, concise, and to the point. He was slightly intoxicated when he decided to walk home. On the way back to his neighborhood, he was surprised to see someone running to him, clearly agitated. She cried for help, that she was held against her will in her assailant's basement. When Liebman had a chance to clear his mind, he knew this was serious and pulled her away from the street. As they walked further down, he pulled his cell phone out to call the police and informed the authorities that they were headed to the nearby 24-hour convenience store and they can locate them there. He recalled the young woman kept saying, "please remember where you found me. Please remember where you found me," while they walked and he never understood why. By the time the police arrived on-scene, they asked where exactly she was held captive and she looked directly at Liebman. He knew the place, alright, and he then realized why she was telling him to remember where she was found. She was understandably too frazzled and frightened to get her bearings or to know the location she was currently at and therefore, needed to rely on him for the address.

_That's my girl, Relena. _Heero thought. It shouldn't take long for the police to find the house and the culprit.

He forced himself to read Relena's statement and it took every ounce of strength not to crumble the paper. Historically known for his calm demeanor, he had never felt such anger and frustration and he didn't have the skills to contain the emotion. Her pain was his pain and he could almost sense the fear and the loneliness that she felt while experiencing the very words she wrote on the page.

He left his cell number with the police so that they could inform him as soon as they had apprehended the criminal. With the address that Liebman supplied, it was only a matter of time until they tracked the guy down. A warrant, that would normally take weeks, was already issued by the court to enter the residence to collect any evidence used to keep her restrained.

As he leafed through the police report for the thousandth time, his cell buzzed.

"Yuy."

"Sir, we've arrested a person of interest." Deputy Alex Broussard said, the lead investigator of the case. "He's held in Interrogation Room 3 at the station."

"Be right there." Heero replied.

If he knew they would apprehend a potential suspect in such a short amount of time, he would never have left the station to begin with. He raced back to where he originally met Deputy Broussard and his partner, Deputy Edward Cascaman.

Heero walked through the station entrance and was ushered back to the interrogation rooms. Deputy Broussard and Cascaman greeted Heero in the hall, right in front of the metal door with the label Interrogation 3.

Cascaman held the original police report in hand and began, "His name is Xander Kava. 40 year-old, Caucasian, with no prior convictions. He owns the house that the victim was held secluded."

"Relena."

"What?" Cascaman asked, confused.

"She's not _the victim_. Her name is Rel… Mima. Let's refrain from using any labels." Heero said curtly.

"Uh… sure." Cascaman flipped through the pages in the file folder to regroup. "Xander Kava hasn't said much. He refuses to answer any of the questions pertaining to the equipment that was found in the basement and the drug Vanillin in his kitchen. Vanillin is used for sedating farm animals. I mean this thing could knock out a full grown bull and Mima was drugged the entire time with this stuff."

"We're gonna have to do a toxin screen on Mima right away to see if the substance is still in her system." Broussard added, shaking his head forlornly.

Cascaman nodded. "It'll help to gather as much evidence as possible for the impending trial. We want to make sure we nail the bastard."

Heero absorbed the information that they divulged and reached for the file folder. "Let me have a chat with Xander Kava." He grabbed the door handle, more than prepared to face the suspect.

Kava looked disheveled and refused to look up at the newcomer. At first glance, the man with dark auburn hair was wearing dark khakis and a brown t-shirt, his hands loosely planted on the cold, sterile metal table.

"Good evening, Mr. Kava." Heero said, taking a seat directly across from him. "I'm assuming you know why you're here."

The man remained deathly mute and stone still. Heero was patient; he could sit here all night until Xander Kava cracked under the pressure and the silence. While he waited, he took the time to really get a good look at the man on the other side of the interview. He had a strange sense of déjà vu, as if he'd encountered this man before. It could have been in passing somewhere on the street or at a store but he couldn't pinpoint where. After years of rigorous training to become the solder that he was, he knew his instincts were dead on and he wouldn't discount the feeling. As he pondered further on that point, he casually opened the case file and browsed through the report. There were parts of the report that didn't sit well with him. The assailant knocked on _her _door and was ready to transport her away from the apartment complex. The crime was premeditated… but why her? Why not some other woman? The apartment wasn't easily accessible for those who didn't live there. Not only did they need a key card to swipe into the main entrance but they needed to punch in their code onto the keypad. He had to meticulously plan and work his way in.

"It wasn't a random kidnapping, was it?" Heero surmised. "You knew her. You targeted her." Kava looked up then and he knew his assumptions were correct.

"Maybe you saw her in a public place, like at the restaurant she works in and you liked what you saw."

Kava replied monotonously. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"A woman was trapped in your basement, drugged, tied to a post, now barely alive in the hospital, and you don't know what I'm talking about?" Heero tried not to elevate his voice.

"She's alive?" He whispered.

This was it. This was the opening that Heero needed. "You killed her? Is that what you're telling me?"

He slowly shook his head and replied, "No, no, you're wrong. She was already dead when I got to her. You're wrong!"

"How did she die, then?" Heero asked carefully.

He ignored the question, living in his own thoughts. "I never should've taken that job from that bitch, Jezzie." The man said, deflated.

Heero suddenly stood up from his seat and enunciated the next words out of his mouth as if he were speaking to a three year old. "What…did you… just say?"

"I want to call a lawyer."

* * *

It took five grueling hours for Heero to be satisfied with Xander Kava's narration of events by questioning and re-questioning every fabric of the story. Kava tried cleverly to make a deal by giving more information about his accomplice for a lesser punishment. Little did he know that Heero was already quite familiar with said accomplice. The more Kava divulged of Jezzie's plan to rob Relena's dove necklace, all the pieces of the proverbial puzzle slowly came together in one domino-like wave of information.

- She hires the thug to steal the necklace.

- He sees her with the necklace… assumes she's Relena.

- And that would explain why _Mima_ was so upset with losing it. Even with amnesia, her connection to him still lived vicariously through that one single piece of jewelry.

- Jezzie capitalizes on the situation and somehow passes the DNA test. He would still need to figure that out but big picture first.

- In the mean time, Relena was nearly raped, managed to regain her memories but was abruptly turned away. Then with the force of ill-fortune, was kidnapped by the same sick loser that was originally hired by Jezzie in the first place.

The bigger question that he had now was how did Relena end up with someone like Jezzie? As warm and giving as Relena's heart was, he couldn't see her forming any sort of close relationship with someone as crass and unrefined as Jezzie. What was the connection? He would have to find his answers from the direct source.

* * *

Jezzie laid sprawling comfortably on top of her queen sized bed reading the latest fashion magazine when she heard a pounding on the door that was unlike what the housemaids usually do when they needed her.

Before she even had the chance to open the door, it was pushed inward with 5 uniformed officers in tow.

"What is the meaning of this?" She shouted. Right when she about to protest further, she noticed a familiar face near the back of the cavalry.

"Heero! Oh, Heero please help me! I have no idea why these men are in here."

He walked in front of her, containing his rage. "I would be very careful with my words if I were you. Take her away."

From the shocked expression on Jezzie's face, he took in the sheer pleasure that she knew her gig was up. She would pay… by god would she pay.

* * *

She was sore all over. Relena slowly woke to the throbbing pain on her right shoulder and she noticed that she was lying in a hospital room. A man stood at the end of her bed with unruly brown hair braided behind him and she smiled.

"Duo…"

He said, "Hey there, princess. Welcome back."

Her mind cleared and her smile faltered. He shouldn't be here. Nobody should know where she was. "How did you know to be here?"

"Relena…"

"No." She mumbled. "No, you've mistaken me for someone else."

He tried again, "Relena. We know. Everything will be alright now."

"No…no," She cried, filled with emotion. "I'm… Mima."

Duo went to her and hugged her tight to his chest. The poor girl… what she has been through. "Relena, please."

She cried harder.

Days passed and she began to heal physically, but not emotionally. Relena found that she jumped at the slightest unexpected noise. Duo kept constant guard by her side and when he wasn't there, he had Hilde come to keep her company. It seemed that they feared she would disappear again and they weren't planning on flirting with that possibility. She had frequent visitors by the all the former Gundam pilots save one.

The question was always on the tip of her tongue but she was afraid of what the answer would be. Every time a new face came into her room, she wanted to ask 'where's Heero' but the words never surfaced.

When Milliardo finally came to see her, they both sat motionless for what seemed like days. Tears pooled in his eyes but he maintained his composure without a single tear falling. It didn't help that she didn't know what to say to him either. She wondered if her reunion with Heero would be this tough or would it be even more difficult? These were the two most important men in her life and yet, neither of them believed her. The trust she had for her brother and the perfect soldier was easily shattered in that one tiny moment. Could it ever be regained? And if so, would it ever be the same?

"Relena..." He sat rigid in a visitor's chair next to her bed. "I... I know that I didn't do right by you. I didn't protect you when you needed me the most. I failed as your brother."

Her eyes started clouding over with unshed tears. "Milliardo... you can't blame yourself for what happened to me."

They spent the next couple of hours talking... really talking between brother and sister, trying to rebuild the kinship they had lost in the past decade. He reached for her hands, needing that physical link to assure himself that she was indeed real and safe. She retold all the events that she could remember from that unfortunate evening, explaining her circumstances with her new family and all that she had endured. He never moved a muscle and absorbed everything she said. Sometimes through the grittier parts of her tale, his grasp on her hands tightened and she knew it was difficult for him to hear her recollection of the pain that she had suffered.

"I'm so sorry, Relena. Nothing I do could ever prove to you how sorry I am." Zechs whispered with his head bowed.

Relena couldn't help the overwhelming flow of emotion and cried softly. "Milliardo... it's not your fault. I'm just glad to have my brother back."

He embraced her in a tight bear hug then and didn't want to let go.

At quarter past five, Zechs had to leave for a pertinent meeting and promised that he would be here to take her home the next day.

"Rest now, Relena." He leaned in to kiss her forehead and said, "we'll take it one day at a time."

* * *

It felt surreal coming back to the estate with her true identity intact. Her first step into the foyer truly felt like a homecoming and everyone greeted her with wholehearted enthusiasm. She was nostalgic for a few moments thinking of the one household member who was not here to welcome her, Pagan. _I'm home, Pagan._ Relena bowed her head for a moment of silence in memory of her beloved friend and promised that she would visit him very soon in his final resting place.

"Relena, do you want to get settled in your room and we'll have dinner later?" Zechs asked as he helped her carry the one luggage with some personal items. He couldn't believe how little she had on her person.

"Is it alright if I stayed in the guest bedroom? I… don't think I want to be in my room anymore." Relena said as she looked up the grand staircase.

Zechs must have caught her meaning and said, "Yes, of course that's fine." He couldn't blame her that she didn't want to stay in the same place in which the imposter had tarnished.

After a hearty meal, brother and sister sat comfortably in front of the big screen tv in his office, catching up on the latest news. Every channel had the same breaking news… the lawful arrest of the individuals who were responsible for Relena Darlian's disappearance over ten years ago.

"Over the last two weeks, evidence was collected and witnesses were tracked down to provide further insight as to what happened all those years ago." The beautiful blond news reporter explained in front of Preventer Headquarters. "Officials are still working round the clock to piece together everything that they gathered and the three suspects in custody are…."

Relena stared at the screen as the photos of Harry, Samantha, and Jezzie plastered the television set. She knew that the media wouldn't divulge everything from the case… in fact, she was sure that they weren't privy to such information. Preventers would be keeping a tight lip on everything concerning the missing politician. This was the biggest news to break the airwaves since her disappearance and the media would be milking it for all it was worth.

The reporter continued, "And Relena Darlian has been found and safely returned to her family. She has not personally appeared in public but the world is waiting for her return to the world stage…"

Relena reached for the remote and turned off the newscast, frustrated.

"Relena…"

"I don't want to hear anymore. I'm done." She responded, clearly agitated. "I just want to forget everything."

Zechs sighed and reached for her arm when she tried to stand up, retreating from the conversation. "They _will _be punished for what they have done or, I guess in this case, what they haven't done. They should've turned you in… taken you to the hospital."

She sat back down next to Zechs and released a breath that she didn't know she was holding. "I know but I'm just so tired of everything. And now they want me to walk back into the world as if nothing has happened. I don't think I could do that."

"We're not forcing you to do anything." He explained, "If you want to go back into politics, you know I'd help you in any way that I can and we all know how the Senate would welcome you back into their circle."

"Milliardo, I don't know what I want." She answered, a little afraid.

"You're not on a deadline. You don't need to make any decisions right away." They sat in silence, both occupied with their own thoughts. Then, Zechs had the perfect solution. "Why don't we have a homecoming party for you? Invite everyone you know, to help you catch up on everything that you missed." He smiled and said, "I'm sure everyone is dying to see you. You have no idea how much we've all missed you."

"I would be able to see everyone again?" Relena asked.

He nodded once and smiled. She leaned in and gave him a tight hug. "I would like that."

* * *

Relena didn't take long to get ready. She sat in front of the mirror in the washroom with her pearl satin gown that fitted her to every curve and line. The two loose ends easily tied around her neck as if it were a halter and the V neckline only enhanced the classic look that the designers were aiming for. This would be her first official appearance back in the public eye and they wanted nothing but the best for her. Relena didn't bother with jewelry as any of the pieces that were chosen for her seemed too excessive and unnecessary. Perhaps there was still a little bit of Mima inside her. She quickly brushed her hair and noticed that the hairdresser was able to re-dye her black hair back to the original color effortlessly. Soon her natural hair color would return and she could feel like herself again.

The days leading up to the homecoming party, Relena couldn't help but think about the three people who had kept her from her true self. It remained a constant itch in her mind that she couldn't scratch. Zechs was careful not to reveal too much of what was going on with the impending case to her. He didn't come right out to say it but she had a feeling that he was trying to protect her and sometimes ignorance was bliss. However, she did find out that Samantha and Harry were charged with kidnapping of the first degree and sentenced to fifteen years with no chance of parole. Her _sister_ Jezzie wasn't so fortunate with her sentencing. She was charged with aiding and abetting an attempted robbery and fraud under the International Criminal Code. The media reported that she had little to no chance of ever stepping out into the world as a free woman ever again and Relena felt nothing… no sense of joy or retribution. It just was. And she sincerely hoped that Jezzie had indeed learned her lesson and would make the most of her life. Relena truly wanted this night to be a new beginning, to shed away her old life and not have the past contaminate her thoughts in the future. She promised herself that this would be the last time she would think about Jezzie and the past. They no longer had a hold on her and she felt lighter after this revelation.

A gentle knock then sounded on the door and she said, "come in."

Zechs let himself in and they assessed each other's attire. Dressed in an Armani black suit and with his long golden hair swept back, he looked every inch the lady-killer that she remembered him to be. Despite the few laugh lines on his face the last ten years had been good to him. And he couldn't believe how stunning and grown up his baby sister was. "You look beautiful."

"It's only a simple gown." She replied, modestly.

"It doesn't matter what you wear. You always put the other ladies to shame. Now, are you ready? All the guests have arrived and they're waiting in the ballroom." He offered his arm and she gladly took it.

Relena had a splendid evening. She was able to have a few words with all the guests and she absorbed every moment like a sponge. Duo, Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, and Hilde spoke enthusiastically of her return and she thanked them for their Herculean effort in bringing her back.

Quatre said, "well, you probably realize that Heero put in ungodly hours to make sure the case was handled properly."

"I believe he even had a hand in laying the convictions out by working closely with the attorneys during the trial." Trowa added. "It wouldn't have concluded as soon as it did through the legal system without his pushing everything forward.

"Heero…. Do you know where he is? I haven't seen him." Relena asked. In fact, she hadn't seen him at all since coming home.

An awkward silence dropped on the group. Hilde said, "why don't I grab some drinks for us?" She gently touched Duo's arm before walking away and the rest of the men only stared at each other, willing for the other to answer.

Sensing the sudden shift amongst the group, Relena asked. "What happened? Is he okay?"

Wufei took leadership and replied, "No, he's fine. But… he's just been busy with everything."

"Yeah, yeah you know how it is, Princess." Duo piped in. "He's been so occupied by trying to find justice for you that he's neglected common social manners."

The other men looked away, knowing a lie when they heard one.

"Oh, I see." She said softly. Relena tried to convince herself that it was fine but she couldn't hide her disappointment. She wondered if she would ever see him.

As the party drew to a close, the guests bade farewell to Relena and promised they would keep in touch. In the midst of people roaming around the room and leaving the estate, Duo used the time to sneak out into the balcony. A man dressed in black hid behind the doorway and Duo walked directly to him.

"Heero." Duo greeted.

"How did you know I was here?"

It didn't take a genius to sense someone watching over Relena and he knew Heero was close. It took him a bit longer trying to pinpoint where he was located. "I can smell you a mile away." He chuckled. "But seriously, I knew you couldn't keep away. Why are you hiding like a criminal?"

"It's better this way." He answered.

Duo shook his head, confused. "I don't get it. How is this better? I can see how much it is eating you inside by being away from her and everyone knows how much she wants to see you. You're not one for martyrdom, so what's going on with you?"

Heero breathed deeply and took one last glance into the ballroom. Without even acknowledging Duo's question, he wrapped the jacket collar closer to his neck and walked into the darkness.

"You've already lost more than ten years with her! Are you willing to lose more?" Duo shouted to the receding figure.

* * *

Duo was right and Heero hated the fact. He knew better, didn't he? Why did he think that he could save them from further heartache when the separation was killing him? Torture… it was utter torture keeping away from her when all he craved was to touch the very woman he lived and breathed for.

He reached in and brushed the necklace that had been burning a hole in his pocket ever since Relena gently placed it into his palm. Maybe it was time he returned it to its rightful owner.

As he turned around and made his way back to the estate grounds, he saw a slender woman coming down the steps toward the flower garden. She floated down the cobblestone steps like a siren in her bright gown that flowed to her ankles.

"Relena…" He whispered, never taking his eyes off her. His deep blue irises followed her down the rock path to the wooden bench. She sat comfortably and looked so at ease that he didn't want to disrupt her.

_Another excuse to stay away, Yuy? _He criticized himself. Heero didn't give another chance to back down and stepped forward.

Soft footsteps on the grass knocked Relena out of her reverie and she tensed immediately and stood up to improve her chances to run.

"Relena…" A familiar voice said. Seconds later, she saw him approach and she couldn't help but gasp. It was such a disconnection to see him right in front of her. Had it really been that long?

"Heero." She said, devoid of emotion.

"Hi." Did he really say _hi_? How sorely understated that one single word was.

Despite the fact that they were only a few feet from each other, the distance felt like a mile-long chasm. She realized that her initial reaction was still a residual effect from the kidnapping but now that she knew it was Heero, Relena took the time to settle her nerves.

Heero began while Relena spoke at the same time, "I'm sorry I haven't…"

"So, how have you…" She smiled slightly and sat back down on the bench. "You were missed at the party." Relena heard herself say but what she really wanted to divulge was that _she_ missed him.

He was so close and he just wanted to go to her but he feared that once he touched her, he never wanted to stop.

"Yes, I know." He said softly. "I'm sorry. I owe you a thousand apologies for… everything." Heero looked in pain and tried to mask his uneasiness. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry. Relena, I wasn't there. I'm so sorry."

Suddenly all her emotions resurfaced and she remembered all the times when she felt alone… unwanted, undesired, and unable to control her future. Tears began pooling in her eyes and here she thought she was done crying. Embarrassed, she quickly touched her forehead to hide her eyes.

"Relena…" Unmindful of his earlier reservations, he went to her then and wrapped her tightly in his arms. "I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry…. Here I am again, apologizing to you."

"Heero, you have to stop apologizing…" She said, wiping her eyes. Relena couldn't stand his guilt and circled her arms around his waist for comfort. It felt so good to hold him again… it felt safe, like coming home.

"God, I missed you." Heero whispered into her ear.

"I missed you more." She whispered back. "I missed you when I didn't even remember you."

He chuckled softly and said, "OK, you win." Heero leaned back, already missing the contact, but reached into his pocket to retrieve the necklace.

"I believe this belongs to you." The clasp came open easily and he looped the platinum chain around her neck for the dove pendant to sit smoothly on her skin.

They sat closely together in comfortable silence until Heero said, "It's getting late. I should bring you back."

As they walked back hand in hand, they understood that there were still many things to sort out but the important thing was that Relena was back home and they weren't going to sweat the small stuff.

He walked her up to the glass door leading into the ballroom that had long since been emptied of guests. "Good night, Relena."

"Good night, Heero." She said, eyes twinkling with a renewed sense of hope.

"Welcome home."

END

Note: Sorry, didn't quite make the August deadline but close enough. Not too sure how the final chapter worked out and I apologize if there wasn't a satisfactory ending to all the small issues that came up.

I'd like to give a final thank you to all the readers who have been with me from the beginning. Thank you for your patience and your undying support. You kept me going and I thank you!!!! =)

Cheers,  
JK


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